My neighbor growing up was a professional cellist - like really, really good. She was great to me my whole life - giving me cookies and free cello lessons and lending me a cello. When I asked her to play at our ceremony, she said of course, would be honored. Then when I emailed her to ask for her current mailing address to send a save the date, she said, 'You can send my daughter's to this address, and my son's to me since he lives in Europe.' OK, so does that mean I have to invited the son and daughter??? I was definitely NOT expecting to do so.
Do I:
1. Ignore it - just send her an invited 'and guest' and let her bring one of them
2. Invite the daughter, the son, and the son's wife and kids
3. Talk to her about it
4. Other
Maybe she feels like in lieu of payment, she wants them there? The son is WAY older than me and I haven't seen him in like 25 years. The daughter was my older brother's age, so I did know her, but we were not friends or anything. She's 6 years older than I.
Why would they want to come to my wedding anyway, we were not friends???
Thanks, thanks!!! R
drpepper318
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Re: tricky invite situation - advice please!
Posted by kellyannebrennan
I would think you should just invite them and like you said... why would the way older son want to go? Especially all the way from Europe with his kids and everything. Just keep your fingers crossed they reply no. I would be afraid she would get offended or feel stupid if you asked her about it.
I agree. She probably just assumes they're invited for some strange reason... but from what you said I doubt they'd actually come.
Autumn08
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Re: tricky invite situation - advice please!
You said she was very good to you, maybe she felt your families were close and good to each other as well. I agree, talk to her first. If it's really important to her and you can swing it then go ahead. If not, you can tell her you've reached the max the room can hold and will see what you can do but do not feel comfortable sending a STD at this time.
jeanne08
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Re: tricky invite situation - advice please!
Talk to her about it! And besides, do you really think her son is going to travel from Europe for the wedding. Come on she's crazy not to mention rude to assume things!
Rejjie
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Re: tricky invite situation - advice please!
E gads - I'm still torn. Maybe I'll just invite them. The only thing is - she is managing to manipulate me into this, she's probably capable of manipulating THEM into their little family reunion on my dime. I think I am too chicken and not tactful enough to talk to her about it. Truthfully, I asked her to play over email and haven't spoken to her in person for years. So to start with this would be SUPER weird. Can I invite the son without his family? Ho hum.
november152008
Posted:
Member since
Re: tricky invite situation - advice please!
i would say invite them...she is going to perform at your ceremony and if you rented a cello player it would prob cost more $$$
the son most likely will not come from europe for the neighbor he doesnt really knows wedding so that right there is just an invititation cost to you
and maybe the daughter will come....
so really it would only be her and her daughter actually attending.....
