Okay, my FH has a trust fund that was set up by his mother after his step-father died. She really isn't excited that we're getting married, so I think maybe she's just trying to scare him, but...
Anyway... she says that if he gets married, the trust fund will dissolve and all the money that was put away for him will go back into her trust fund. Meaning, he won't get anything to help us start to build a house when we're ready to.
Is she telling the truth or is she just trying to make us postpone the wedding?
ginaandtommy06
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Re: BIG DEAL
Scary! I wish I could help you. Sorry you have to go through this.
Shannondon
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Oh Boy...Does she just want you to postpone it or cancel it? If its alot of money will you postpone it? Its hard to say if shes trying to scare him. Did she say postpone? What is she unhappy about?
glinda_goodwitch
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I'm sorry. I can't help either, but I'm sure there is someone on here that can answer your question. Maybe you want to edit your title to ask about trust funds? Then some of the financially saavy ladies here may see your post and respond.
ali120206
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I guess you have to find out what the conditions are for him to get the money. It differs based on the trust fund.
mrsbyrd06
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Posted by Shannondon
Oh Boy...Does she just want you to postpone it or cancel it? If its alot of money will you postpone it? Its hard to say if shes trying to scare him. Did she say postpone? What is she unhappy about?
I think she would like for us to cancel it, but that's not going to happen and neither is postponing it. It's 46 days away... that's never going to happen. She's unhappy about him marrying me and not his ex, which happens to be her best friend.
EmberLynn
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Re: Trust Fund Question
You know what thats down right disrespectful of her and no offenense, mommy needs to cut the cord. Honestly I would leave the choice up to your FH. He has a choice to make. Mine had a similar one at one point. Honestly let him make the choice of what to do. Don't count on that money though.
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: Trust Fund Question
Thats really awful. I remember you posting about her relationship with the ex. I don't know what to tell you. There is no way for any of us to know whether she just trying to scare your FH or if she will really do it. It sounds like this woman really has a lot of issues, and if I were you I wouldn't want her involved in my wedding or life at all. Is this money you will both need to survive? If not, and you can get by without it, as much as it sux, I would say, fine dissolve the trust fund. She sounds like an immature selfish woman, and there is nothing you can do to change that. I am very sorry you have to go through this.
Shannondon
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Oh....Thats not right for her to do that to you guys. What does your FH say? I dont even know if she can legally do that to him.
Shiv
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Re: Trust Fund Question
Trusts can be setup with any stipulations. However, I can't see why a mother would set up a trust that says it will dissolve if the son get married- why would she not want her son to get married one day? I think she's trying to scare you into not getting married. Is there any way he can get the money before you two get hitched? If he's over 25, he should be able to take the money- in most cases. You may need more info though- like was it set up for a specific purpose- such as this money can only be used to buy a home, etc.
Good Luck!
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: Trust Fund Question
Posted by Shannondon
Oh....Thats not right for her to do that to you guys. What does your FH say? I dont even know if she can legally do that to him.
That's my question. Does anyone know about trust funds and whether she can actually do that? There must be some limitations since it is also in your FH's name.
BklynItaliana
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this is definalty a lawyer questions, b/c there has to be some kind of stipulations that come w/ it
sugarkube4
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It just doesn't sound logical that a trust fund would dissolve if your FH got married.. it sounds like a scare tactic bc she doesn't want you 2 to get married.. I think she is insane to try and pop this on you.. I'm so sorry honey.. someone on here will definitely be able to give you more legal advice..
MrsFelix
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Have your FH contact the trustee of the fund. They will know all of the stipulations put on the trust fund. PLUS, it was set up by her husband, your FH step father, how would she know all of the details? I would say speak to the trustee and/or administrator and see what kind of info he can get. She may be trying to scare you and the info she's giving is not correct. There can be age limits put on trust as well as any kind of stipulation but there is no way of knowing until he speaks to the trustee and/or administrator of the Trust fund. HTH
Mayflower
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Re: Trust Fund Question
I'm sorry you're going through this!
Since his mom was the one that set it up, does she mean that she will personally dissolve it or does she mean that there is a line in the original trust fund that says he can't get married?
You should have FH find out exactly what the terms of the trust fund was when it was originally set up.
Honestly, it sounds exactly like a scare tactic, but on the other hand, trust funds can have a bunch of stupid requirements attached to them and no one except his mom and the lawyers who set it up know what those are.
sr081906
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It's actually purely and simply called 'BLACKMAIL'.
Your FH has to decide if the money if more important than you.
I personally cut the cord with my own father due to similar financial 'ultimatums' when my parents got divorced.
MJDoc12
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Re: Trust Fund Question
If she is the person in control of the fund, then she may have the right to dissolve it if she wants. It all depends on the stipulations she put on it. If she set it up for him as the beneficiary, then she is the one who has the control. But only she would know what way she set it up.
Your FH needs to get in gear and figure out whether he can take the money out without her approval. He should contact an attorney to figure this out.
Perhaps if he contacts a lawyer, your FMIL will back down. Who knows? But I'd go ahead and start forgetting about that money. This is a point where you will truly learn how your FH feels about you for sure. He has to choose--trust fund or you.
Good luck!
kmkelly
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Re: Trust Fund Question
Like someone else said, a trust fund can be set up with whatever stipulations you want. But who would ever stipulate that if the person the trust was set up for gets married, the trust dissolves? Sounds like complete BS to me, sorry.
NinaChris07
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Definitely don't give up on that money; contact a lawyer!
tracy2246
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A trust fund can be set up in many ways with many stipulations and sometimes they are subject to the trustee of the fund. IN most cases there is an age requirement before a person can get the cash or certain conditions that must be satisfied.The only way to know for sure is to actually read the trust agreement.
