I'm sorry if this is a long rant, but I need to vent or I'll burst!!
My 'troublesome' bridesmaid is at it again... Big time! She actually just called me to back out of the bridal party! Because she doesn't have a babysitter!! Seriously?!?! In the next FIVE months you can't find a sitter???
I know she had planned on having her brother watch her boys, and they have always had a rocky relationship, but apparently they had a big blowout this afternoon and now she has no sitter. But did she even try to find anybody else?? This literally happened HOURS ago and she gives up that easily; did she really want to be involved in the first place?? She's the same one who had complaints about the dress, jokingly second-guesses every decision, still hasn't ordered HER dress, etc...
She also said she might not even *come* to the wedding unless we allow her to bring her boys. Now, I love my 'nephews,' but they are VERY rambunctious boys (they'll be 4 & almost 3 in August) and she really doesn't supervise them like she should, especially when she's around all of us. She kinda relies on the 'aunties' (who are all in the bridal party) to watch them. The venue is RIGHT on the water (I have visions of one of us having to dive in after them in formal wear) AND we were planning on a 'No Kids' Policy (except for FH's).
I'm trying to find her a sitter, but pretty much everybody we trust will be at the wedding. Plus, I worry that she'll just find another reason to back out if I do.
We've been friends for 20 years!! I'm just SO beside myself...
TJD
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Re: Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
sounds like she is just trying to get out of going( maybe there is an other reason)hold on to yopur wish of no kids, or others are going to get mad if there kids are not invited. ( went through this at my brothers wedding, familys dident talk for almost 2w0 years)tell her, you can give her a few more weeks to look for a baysitter, and that you offer to help look. who babysits for her when the family can't? hope everything works out for you.
cj21512
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Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
Look on craigslist for a sitter
adele and mark 2013
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Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
I agree, I think she's looking for reasons not to go. It also sounds like there's something else underlying this behavior. Offer to help her find a sitter but also remember this is your wedding and you've got PLENTY to do yourself! Has she helped you with anything? It sucks, but if this is the way she's going to treat you at the most exciting time of your life, I would say her friendship should be questioned. It might just make your life easier to 'let' her step down and move on without her. Sorry :o(
Laura Suzanne
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Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
Don't try to find her a sitter b/c she's just using that as an excuse. Also, I see you are getting married at 6:30pm like me. I love my nieces and nephews but thats an inapproiate hour for children to be awake at and like someone else said, others who could not bring their child might be pissed
EU19
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Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
tell her ill babysit. Lets see what she says. Hhahaha.
KroertGS
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Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
Don't do anything for her. If she wants to come, she'll find a way. If not, she'll find an excuse. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!!!!
natalierose1085
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Re: Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
Posted by KroertGS
Don't do anything for her. If she wants to come, she'll find a way. If not, she'll find an excuse. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I just feel done with trying to please everyone else while planning MY wedding. So I have to agree with this advice. If you want to be nice you could even tell her you would love for her to be there, and you don't mind giving her a few weeks to try to work things out. and leave it at that. It's her problem, not yours (she obviously has some underlying issue here, or is just very dramatic and self-centered)!
lauren1802
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Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
i would just let her step down and stick to the no kids policy- let her make the decision to keep or ruin your friendship. it may hurt but either way you will be better off.
sandr325
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Re: Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
Posted by lauren1802
i would just let her step down and stick to the no kids policy- let her make the decision to keep or ruin your friendship. it may hurt but either way you will be better off.
I think it's one thing to step down but to even say she can't go to your wedding is an insult. Finding a babysitter is not that difficult, if she can't be bothered to find one than I wouldn't bother with the friendship.
dmlentz
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Re: Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
Posted by natalierose1085
Posted by KroertGS
Don't do anything for her. If she wants to come, she'll find a way. If not, she'll find an excuse. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I just feel done with trying to please everyone else while planning MY wedding. So I have to agree with this advice. If you want to be nice you could even tell her you would love for her to be there, and you don't mind giving her a few weeks to try to work things out. and leave it at that. It's her problem, not yours (she obviously has some underlying issue here, or is just very dramatic and self-centered)!
THIS !!
NikiMartin49
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Re: Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
Posted by lauren1802
i would just let her step down and stick to the no kids policy- let her make the decision to keep or ruin your friendship. it may hurt but either way you will be better off.
I'm also having some issues with some of my bridesmaids (who isn't these days). I truly agree with lauren1802...let her step down if she wants to. If any true friend won't fight to be there and be supportive during your wedding you'll be better off without them. Don't let anyone steal your sunshine!!!
Karin
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Re: Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
Posted by KroertGS
Don't do anything for her. If she wants to come, she'll find a way. If not, she'll find an excuse. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!!!!
LooooooL!
RebeccaAnne
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Re: Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
No kids. She has to find a sitter. Is she holding the other maids up from ordering the dress too?
saxtrevNmeg
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Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
Update:
She called in her measurements this morning. The bridal salon told me they would place the order today. Keeping my fingers crossed, but now that she's invested some money, hopefully she'll take it more seriously...
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!
ETA: She would have cost the other BMs money if she hadn't done this quickly. The salon told me that they'd have to charge a rush fee if we ordered even next week...
saxtrevNmeg
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Re: Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
Posted by EU19
tell her ill babysit. Lets see what she says. Hhahaha.
Courtz
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Re: Trying NOT to go All Bridezilla...
Tell her to go on LIF and fight a babysitter or let her go... She doesn't sound like a good friend especially since you've been friends for so long. You deserve better!
