LIWeddings.com
Post New Topic

TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

shamma Posted:

TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

What do you fear most about being a parent or raising a child.

Sassy Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

The think I fear most is that I will die before my child and leave them parentless
Sorry for being so morbid this morning, but that really is my greatest fear
NIHA Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

That I won't be able to do it!

I think I have a lot of fears, but one that comes to mind is that I'm afraid of when my child says 'no' to me, how will I react? How will I balance love with discipline?

Another fear is just general worrying about every little thing, which I tend to do a lot. I need to let go more, and just trust that my child will be safe and healthy, and that God is watching over him/her.
LisaW Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

Lizlen, thats one of our biggest fears too
shamma Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

I have fears such as

How will I know what I am doing is right

Will my child embarass me or turn out to be so terrible I am so ashamed

I raise a child with low self esteem

yabbobay Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

Shamma...thats on the same train of thought I have...especially since I have a Masters in Psych and I teach it too...all i think about are the right foods to eat during PG...then what to do when their an infant...and then throughout the different stages of their life...

I wonder if their is a study regarding children of psychologists?? if they are well adjusted or not...
shamma Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

Erica, you are so funny

I have seen kids raised with the best of everything and still turn out to embarass their parents. Its a pity there is no manual on how to do it right. There are no guarantees on this parenting thing. All we can do is pray for them and ourselves.
Stef28 Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

I just fear of bringing them up with the right message. I don't want them to be the kids that are disrespectful -- no manners -- and disiplining. I believe in being a parent -- not a friend -- to my children and worry about being the parent that all the other parents think is a prude, etc.

I have a friend like that -- she is very strict -- and her kids' friends' parents are more lax and have actually called her 'prude' in front of her kids b/c she wouldn't let her kids watch a certain movie. I couldn't believe it.
Suzanne Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

Shamma GREAT question...
I dont really have any fears of being a parent, at least not yet.. what i do fear a little is labor and what i fear MOST is the dogs and the baby together..like will the baby have allergies, and my big one is a barker so will that interfere ALOT...i sometimes get sick over it.. Another fear I have is that I want to TTC now and frank is a little aprehensive because we are not in our 'own' home yet...
michele31 Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

My fears:
-That I will hurt my child as my parents hurt me (when they divorced they both forgot that they had 3 children together and worried more about their own needs than ours). My parents never meant to hurt us or set-out to do so, but it happened anyway.
-That my child will someday get sick and I will not be able to 'kiss the boo-boo' and make them all better.
-That I will love them SOOO much that I will not be able to balance protecting them with allowing them to grow-up
-That they will not be able to go to the College that they want to because of cost (I have huge student loans because again, my parents really didn't think about this stuff ahead of time)
-That someday my child will feel pressure from friends and nothing I have said or shown is remembered. And that on that day, that one mistake will alter all of our lives, such as getting in the car with a drunk driver or being a drunk driver.
- That my lapse in judgement creates a situation that they cannot get out of. Such as allowing them to stay out too late one night because he/she begged and begged and even though I knew it was not a good idea I didn't want to fight about it anymore and then something happens.
Crisco718 Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

I have the same fears as you Shamma. I want to be in a position to give them everything, but I do not want them to be spoiled or naive.

I also do not want to be in conflict with DH who I believe will raise children like a drill sergeant. He is very quick to write people off and I do not want him to do this to our children.

I have brothers from my fathers second marriage and they were/are given everything and they have no ambition, they are lazy, and they have no work ethic. One of my brothers when he was 17 asked my father if he could get on welfare because his allowance was not enough!! My father was mortified and embarrassed. Where did my brother get an idea that welfare was and answer when he sees my father gets up and goes to work every day to support his family!! This brother is now 23, still lives at home in between girlfriends and has no plans for his future!
shamma Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

Michelle, those are my fears too There is no way to avoid any of those, they will have to learn on their own and make their own mistakes. We just hope that the mistakes they make will not be devastating ones

I only worry about being too strict or not strict enough EMO2: Having a safe place for my child to be able to come to me with anything. My mom had such a place for me and I hope one day I can provide the same safe haven for my child.

Suzanne, the not being in our own home is bothering me too. :

michele31 Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

'One of my brothers when he was 17 asked my father if he could get on welfare because his allowance was not enough!! '

I understand why your Dad didn't think it was funny, but I laughed when I read that. At 17 it is hard to understand what Welfare even means, but it is a funny idea. Heck, the worst part is he probably could have gotten it.
shamma Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

Crisco, yes I fear that too, chidren w/o ambition or just wandering aimlessly not knowing what to do with their lives. I thank my mom every day for the great job she did, but I guess parenting is learned and you learn from each trial and error.

Cira Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

I'm on the same page as Niha ... I am afraid of being an overprotective parent, worrying to much about everything - which I do now.

I'm most afraid of bringing them up in this 'corrupt' world, with terroism, and guns and girls getting pregnant at 14. I know a lot of this has to do with parenting, but like Michelle said, what if they 'forgot' what we have taught them. Also, what type of a world will we leave in in 20 years or so.

I want what most of you want for your own children and I think, that the type of planners that we are, we are going to do our hardest to give our kids all we can (without to much spoiling ).

Oh ... and Suzanne, I'm afraid of our cat and all the bad things you hear about cats and babies ... but if it were up to me, I wouldn't be in that situation!
michele31 Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

I KNOW that when parents lead by example and reinforce the lessons over and over again children do hear that little voice in the back of their heads. I also know that you HAVE to make lots of mistakes in life in order to grow. Like my best friend's daughter. She is 15. She has a boyfriend. Chances are they will break up over the next year. And I KNOW it will hurt like he_l and I want to protect her from that soooooo badly, but I also know you need to go through it to come out stronger and wiser. It is just sooooo hard watching it all happen.

phyl Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

worried that I will not be here for Julianne ..that I will leave her motherless. That happened to me at the age of 22 and let me tell It is STILL rough

I am also worried about teenage pregnancy/sex thing. I dont know how my mom drilled in a value system but somehow it worked. I used to see how crazy my schoolmates use to be when they were dating guys...and the guys cheated on them,etc. I just didnt want to deal with any of that and stuck my head in books.

MarcellaBella Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

I'm most worried about god forbid something wrong happening during my pregnancy or during the labor.. I've ben hearing horror stories lately, and it's made me so scared.

Samanthas Mom Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

just that I will do something wrong in raising
I hope I can always do right by them
natasha Posted:

Re: TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

My fears are
-being a good mother
-being a mother with my mother so far away (she is only aphone call away, but i think I would wish she is closer when I become a mom)
-my ability to raise a well-rounded child
-my abilty to raise an african-american child with some guyanese/caribbbean values
-my ability to raise a child who appreciates and embraces his american culture and guyanese/caribbean heritage.

Reply to this topic

Log in to reply or quote a post.