TTC QOTD 5/21/2003

Natasha, you have touched on something that I was just discussing with Ronnette yesterday about raising a young AA boy in a society that at times can be so hard for them. I also worry about how much he will value our Jamaican/Trinidadian/American heritage.

Will I be able to raise a son that is not too tough and knows how to communicate and not be afraid to express himself or show his fears or his feelings??

I am also concerned about a daughter who will get pregnant too early, AIDS, STDs

I read this quote and it said it best, once you have agreed to have children you have agreed to let your heart walk outside of your body.

What would I do with a child that is born with a deformity that cannot help themself or is disabled in some way shape or form

I am bored today and went into this board for the first time. .
Here are my fears…

-My baby will be born healthy and with no problems and later on find out the baby has a disease that is not curable.
-I will be so worried about them, I will not let them grow up and be more independent. I have become so much more emotional and nervous lately. I think it’s the freakin’ bc pill.
-Worry that although FH and I will speak to them about sex, drugs and alcohol at an age that we know they can understand, they will turn around and do something stupid that they can’t get out of. Regardless of how much we talk them to death, they may have peer pressure.

Wanda, isn't that all our fears What can we do but pray for them and hope that all the talks will be remembered before they make that big mistake.

Shamma: I love the quote. I will have to save that.

I have to agree with you about raising a African American boy in today's society. I have three younger brothers, and my mother saw hell with the two older ones. However with prayers they are both on the right track and doing really well. My brother after me went from running around with the bad boys in hood doing god knows what to earning his accociate's and bachelor's degree while working full time. He is a now a married 26 year old senior accountant. Let just say my mom is sleeping a little better now.

Natasha I have that fear too. Our children will be mixed: Hispanic and Carribean. I soooo don't want my kids to be considered a sterotype. I think a child during adolescence does go through some form of rebelling. But its those family values that are instilled in them since they are younger will come through and get them back on track. Your mom did a great job raising you and your brothers.

Do you mean besides EVERYTHING???

My fears are this:

-outliving my child: I don't think I would be able to go on with my life if My child died before I did.

-Dying: I am afraid of leaving my child without both parents-

-Losing my Mom: Just because I think my mom was has been my biggest impact on my life, I ask her everything, and I want her hand in helping give me guidance in raising my children

-The world as a whole: so much bad has been happening, Abductions, AIDS, 9-11, Guns, Murders, Wars...I am so scared not knowing what is going to happen next....

But I definitely want to bring some more lives into the world, so I will do my best to be my best for my children to be the best....I want to give them everythig I have had in life and have enjoyed, loved, cherished, dreamed...I can;t wait till we TTC in a few years...

My biggest fear is lack of sleep



Of course Michele really nailed it

Well besides lack of sleep...
My fears are that I hope I can be a good mother.
I want to be as close to my children as I was with my parents. They were like best friends with me yet I always knew my boundaries and was disciplined correctly. My parents had me very young (16), and my mom was diagnosed with cancer when I was a year old yet they both provided me (with what little money they had at that time) everything I needed...and more. I always thought I was rich!!! I was taught such good morals and values by them. I hope i can be just like them

just going off on Shammas post...what about culture...neither of us are from mixed cultures

I came from an extremely German household...the whole thing..eating lots of pork and potatoes...speaking German...German clothing and holidays

John is Spanish...still talks to most of his family in Spanish...most of his family is still in Spain...eats lots of crochettes, chorizo and paella...

how do I balance both...or should we integrate into an American lifestyle (which we both live)

should they know one of the languages? both? (who really speaks German anymore?)


this might be a whole other topic...

Im also worried about being overprotective, and worrying all the time.
This is a good question Shamma.
I just want to be a good mother, and provide the best for him/her

I never really gave it a lot of thought, but now that you've all been discussing it, Patrick and I also come from homes with strong but different cultures and traditions.
It may be hard to strike a balance between the 2, and teach an appreciation of both. I think the key will be to show a huge amount of respect for each side's heritage, and also create a few new traditions of our own.

I guess we should all worry about raising our children to respect themselves and others. And while I don't know how it is to try and raise an Africian American children I can tell you that it is very, very important to me to raise a child who doesn't see skin color or religion but rather judges people based on their actions and who they are.
I was very lucky to be raised by parents who believe in equal rights for ALL, education for everyone etc... And while I was not really raised in a 'mixed-racial or religious' area I was lucky enough to know from any early age that people are people regardless of the amount of money they have, color of their skin, which God they pray too. I think that is one of the most important lessons to teach a child. And with that, I think we can help make the World a better place.

Michelle, I was just discussing that with Tammy, not everyone is exposed and its such a shame. People judge people and they know nothing about them.

Children are not born racist, they are taught, I have seen children together and they do not see race, creed or color. I think it really depends on the parents exposing the child/children to different people no matter the race, color or creed. I guess as parents or parents to be it is something we need to keep at the forefront of our minds.