tuesday funnies
(omg, i kinda love her dress)
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(705):
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
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(518):
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
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(515):
you had 'tips for anal sex' in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
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(972):
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
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(609):
His **** looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
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(347):
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
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(702):
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
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Today, airport security took away my 32$ eyelash curler, because it could be used as a weapon. I miss the 90s. FML
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^
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Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML
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Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad at me, they do it on my furniture. So far, they've done it on the table, my bed, and all the living room couches. FML
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