TUESDAY'S QOTD

mlcvln129 Posted: Jun 09, 2009 06:02 AM

TUESDAY'S QOTD

Another invite question for you to ponder:

If you had a falling out with a guest after you sent out the invites, would you consider un-inviting them?

Interesting thought I wanted to pose to you, since an invited guest of mine is REALLY starting to piss everybody off. Hopefully the reply card will say NO, but what if it doesn't?

springsandra Posted: Jun 09, 2009 07:26 AM

Re: TUESDAY'S QOTD

My dad had a huge falling-out with his brother. They seriously hate each other. (This is not really new, but has increased dramatically over the past few months.)

I asked him over and over if I still had to invite them, and every time the answer was 'yes' despite how my dad felt. Perhaps that's different because it's family.

As far as a friend guest, I would really have to know for certain that the person was no longer going to be a part of our lives in order to do something so dramatic as to 'uninvite' them to our wedding. We are not the type of people who hold grudges at all, and very little could make me so upset with someone else so as to burn bridges.

So I guess my answer is no, I wouldn't be uninviting anyone.

Just Cindy Posted: Jun 09, 2009 07:37 AM

Re: TUESDAY'S QOTD

IMO I dont think its right to uninvite someone to an event unless they did the most horrendous thing to you or your family that would be unforgivable by any standards like trying to take FH from me, killing, etc, LOL!!!!

LadyDuda81509 Posted: Jun 09, 2009 07:42 AM

Re: TUESDAY'S QOTD

nah i wouldnt go and uninvite them, but if it was a bad enough fight im pretty sure they wouldnt show up anyways!

MLAngelo Posted: Jun 09, 2009 07:48 AM

Re: TUESDAY'S QOTD

No, once the invite has gone out (in fact once the STD has gone out) they are invited. Its up to them to decide if they should come or not.

mlcvln129 Posted: Jun 09, 2009 07:57 AM

Re: TUESDAY'S QOTD

I know that we're not UNinviting anybody--we're just hoping to make our minimum at this rate! It's not proper or polite to do so. However, if this person does decide to come, I know that it's going to be awkward and tension-filled for some of my guests since he has effectively pissed off most of that circle of friends over the past couple of weeks.

So now, if he does decide to come, how would you handle the situation? Obviously, FH and I are going to be too busy catering to the whole group of guests to worry about just him, but I'm pondering all sorts of 'what if' scenarios.

MirabellaNYC Posted: Jun 09, 2009 08:03 AM

Re: TUESDAY'S QOTD

I definitely wouldn't UN-invite them. Hopefully it would blow over.

Or I would just let it be their call.

julesrbf Posted: Jun 09, 2009 08:30 AM

Re: TUESDAY'S QOTD

No. IMO, once you send the invite, it's written in stone. Besides, if it was a true falling out on both sides, I'd assume the other person just wouldn't come. And if they did, I'd assume that whatever falling out we'd had was not important to them as the bond that we once had, so I wouldn't be bothered if they came. What am I going to do, stop the ceremony to kick them out?

JennyAPH Posted: Jun 09, 2009 08:48 AM

Re: TUESDAY'S QOTD

This has happened..

We didnt send out the invites yet, but we sent STD's and then one of FH's friends started to be really shady and mean.. so I wrote him an email asking what his issue was etc and then FH tried calling for 2 months straight and he wouldnt call back.. so I wrote him another one basically saying consider yourself uninvited. no idea why he is mad at FH but it really hurts me to see this happen. FH and him have been friends since grade school and FH did absolutely nothing except he didnt put him in the bridal party because he had way too many friends to put in if he did.. he just kept it to family and his best friend to be fair. I guess thats why hes mad. Lame if you ask me.

springsandra Posted: Jun 09, 2009 09:22 AM

Re: TUESDAY'S QOTD

Posted by mlcvln129
So now, if he does decide to come, how would you handle the situation?

I wouldn't do anything different.

These guests are here to celebrate your marriage, not to fight amongst themselves. I've found that if people are given the opportunity to let bygones be bygones, they will.

If you really want to address the issue head-on, you can put a small note out for him saying 'I know we've had some strains in our friendship lately, but I'm glad we buried the hatchet and you're here on our special day.' It could have the effect of getting him out of whatever funk he's been in and back to being the friend you all enjoyed spending time with before this happened.

FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted: Jun 09, 2009 09:27 AM

Re: TUESDAY'S QOTD

i wouldnt uninvite them... i would just be sure to have some words with them to make sure they responded no... lol but then they could come out of spite and not give a gift... but personally, i wouldnt show my face at a wedding for someone who i didnt care for just to spite them ....

Im a Pepper Posted: Jun 09, 2009 09:31 AM

Re: TUESDAY'S QOTD

I don't think I'd uninvite anyone unless the circumstances really called for it. Uninviting someone to your wedding is like closing the door on any reconciliation possibilities and any chance of having a relationship in the future.

gina409 Posted: Jun 09, 2009 02:28 PM

Re: TUESDAY'S QOTD

Posted by MirabellaNYC

I definitely wouldn't UN-invite them. Hopefully it would blow over.

Or I would just let it be their call.

same here

coldasice217 Posted: Jun 09, 2009 04:26 PM

Re: TUESDAY'S QOTD

I probably wouldn't uninvite them if the invites had already gone out, but I wouldn't go out of my way to track them down if they didn't rsvp by the cut off date.