Tux selections was a horror......vent.....

Ok so if any of you recall past posts from my daughter and myself about my sons upstate wedding, this is YET an continuation...

My son calls and askes me Saturday if I would like to go with him for his tux fitting/selection. Seeing I was an after thought for helping him I went. It was fun, exciting to being able to do something with him. When he tried on the first tux, came out of the dressing room, i burst into tears. ok ladies, now it gets better.

His FW was there also, her dad, her brother, one of her BM's , myself and my cousin (who was up visiting with me for the weekend). We had many laughs, many tears. His FW is a horror from hell. She was so DEMANDING on what HE wanted to wear. He tried on a white tux, back, white with champagne, and it goes on and on. She insisted on dressing him so the sales woman just walked away. I told her 'he's a big boy, he can dress himself' she told me 'I WILL DO IT'. okay!!!!!!

Well, after an hour and a half, he came out dressed in his street clothes and I asked, 'have you decided on the tux?' He said he wasn't sure. So I said 'well if YOUR done, I'm going to go. At that point, she was standing behind him and said 'she's leaving because she didn't get her way'....I then, a bit loud and nasty said 'I only asked MY SON a question and if he's done, theres no need for me to stay. I'll just be surprised to see him at the wedding'...then it got worse. I asked him if he had called the ring bearers parents to let them know whats going on. He said no and I tired to explain respect, curtisy (spelling) and then she chimed in again, over his shoulder, pointing her finger in my face and said 'this is none of your business'. I then answered louder 'I am talking to MY SON, NOT YOU so this doesn't concern you'..he said not a word to her nor me. I started to cry, stormed out of the store.

I've been so upset since. If he didnt' want my opinion on his tux, then why the hell did he ask me to go? I called my darling daughter and i was was upset that I had upset her. I need to talk.

This girl just doesn't get it. She is dictating everything that he does and his so blinded by this. Its very heartbreaking.

I'm sorry this is long. I'm just so emotionly upset and drained. I can't wait till this nightmare is over. I've tried to do everything humanly possible for them and all I do is keep getting a kick in the teeth and a knife in the heart.

I am sorry, she is VERY mean. The only thing I can say is hang in there it will be over soon.

this woman sounds like she is being a psycho-b!tch so please don't think any of this is your fault. was your son's behavior like this before she came into the picture? or has her overbearing personality really influenced him? do you approve of this marriage?

sounds like you might need to have a heart-to-heart with your son about your feelings. perhaps there is some misunderstanding going on.

keep in mind your son is marrying this woman, and since you raised him well she must have at least SOME redeeming qualities!! weddings bring out the freakiest things in people, so that could be it, too.

i hope you feel better!

Oh wow, she sounds like a real *****. I feel so sorry that she is going to be a part of your family, how the he** does your son deal with her on a regular basis? She's sounds like she wants to be his mother more that his wife.

I am sorry you are feeling this way

I can't believe that she was very disrespecful towards you . I hope for your son's sake that this woman is kind and loves him because IMO i see this wedding a disaster waiting to happen.

I also can't believe that her father would allow her to speak that way to the mother of her FH.

Don't feel down. I think with the whole wedding pressure things are bad but as soon as it is over I am sure that things will get better. The pressure to plan a wedding is enormous.

Good luck!

First....

Second- OMG!!!! This woman is marrying YOUR son. How DARE she treat you like that???? I cannot even imagine EVER speaking to my FMIL like that. Sure, we disagree on things, but I have always kept my mouth shut, because the things she says or does are never hurtful- she is looking out for her son. Why can't this woman understand that you are trying to be helpful to your son?

I am SO sorry you are going through this!!

I am sorry that she is such a headcase!!!!!!!
She has absolutely no regard so it seems for anyone but herself.
I am sorry that she is being so mean to you.
Maybe she is just a bridezilla and will chill out once all the planiing is done?
Sorry

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Posted by lullabella


I am sorry, she is VERY mean. The only thing I can say is hang in there it will be over soon.

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Not really because you still have to deal with HER after the wedding.

She is mean! While my son had on the black tux, she TOLD him, 'if this the one you want to wear, you WILL wear the sneakers'.....they are tux sneakers pat leather, kinda cool looking.

Also, she has TOLD the BM's 'your not to wear shoes under your gowns, I want you to buy white canvas sneakers'.

She was always a sweetie. But she has now become so horrible. We all have tried to let my son see these points and he's just to blinded. By what? I haven't a clue.

I've told him that this wedding is breaking my heart, 'deal with it, its her day and its what she wants'. HELLO....are you not part of this wedding/marriage?

My daughter keeps reminding me that their immature, 21 & 18.

YIKES!!!!!!!

ohh i'm soo sorry to hear all this...sounds like she is very mean and is acting very immature towards her FMIL......not nice at all...

Oh I am SOOO sorry you have deal with such a bizotch for a FDIL!!

I would never speak to my FMIL that way no matter what she did or said! I don't know what to say except try to remember that the most important thing is that your son is happy and that's the only thing you should concern yourself with.

Sorry to say that all my mom is saying is true This truly has become a non-joyful event for our family. I never take sides when it comes to my mom and brother because he looks up to me and confides in me but he is wrong for allowing his FI to speak to my mother that way, he sure as hell was not raised to speak to people that way so why should he allow her to? My mom, grandmother and I were planning a 'LI style bridal shower' for her, catered and all. It was my mom's idea, she didn't have to do it, she just wanted her to feel welcomed into our family, but she has since cancelled that and rightly so I think. My brother called her a child for doing so, again exemplifying the blindness.

Let this be a lesson to all B2B's that while yes the wedding day is mostly about the Bride, we have to consider the MOG's feelings too, especially if it is her only son.

Thanks for all the for my mom!

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Posted by MomNeedsTissues

My daughter keeps reminding me that their immature, 21 & 18.

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they're still BABIES!!!!

she just sounds like an immature spoiled brat!
someone should tell her thats NOT how to treat people!!

im so sorry thats happening, she sounds so horrible.... she sounds like a true bridezilla... i dont know if there is anything that you can do that would actually get through to her, maybe with some time your son will actually see what she's acting like.

We can not see how she is stressed out. Her mother is doing EVERYTHING. All she is doing is dictating to everyone including my son.

Theres no talking to him. We've all tried to let him see the light, but nothing. He and I have been very close, exceptionaly close in the past 7 years, but since this wedding nonsense has come ineffect, he just pushes me out.

I'm inches away from cancelling the RD. Holding a RD for 30, and a 3 day open house for our OOT guests, would just kill me, and I don't know if I would be hurting myself or him. And hurting him is not in my blood.
I don't think it would bother me as much to cancel being I've already canceled the LI style bridal shower. Its not like she isn't having one, HER MOTHER is planning one for her up here.

I've read tons of posts on here and I've never read one about any bride being as awful as this one. I'm a good person, a good mother, and to get treated like this is unexceptable.
He wasn't raised this way. And if this is the way upstate people treat new family members, they all can keep them.

Hate to stick my nose in but I really want to give you lots of

Maybe you should sit down with your son and talk to him about how you feel. This is all very overwhelming for everyone right now and I think that we sometimes take for granted the people who love us. He might now realize what your feeling and I'm sure he doesn't want you to be upset.

My suggestion would be to NOT cancel the RD. Talk to him. The RD is something special that you are doing for your son and to cancel it could cause you more grief than you are experiencing now. You don't want to hurt your son. I can't possibly understant why she is acting this way towards you - I would LOVE to have a MIL who was half as interested anc caring as you! But I think you can't let her get to you - you have to be the better woman in your son's life and show him that not everyone behaves like this. Set an example for your son and definitely talk to him.

I agree with the girls and feel so sorry you are going through this at a time that should be happy for you and your family. One thing I do want to say though. You mentioned she used to be a sweet girl. One can't help but wonder why things have changed. Is there any chance she has read your comments on this site and figured out who you were? I remember your first posts about the upstate wedding and how you totally disagreed with how it was all being done. My immediate reaction then was how risky it was for you to be so outspoken on a public forum. You are not wrong in feeling as you do, but as a MIL myself, I know too well we are not allowed that privilege of saying what we think. It is different with our own daughters! Your FDIL has dreams as to how she wants her wedding and any negativity will be held against you. She sounds extremely immature but in her mind she is being wronged by you. Just read what girls here say about their MIL's. I try to read their comments and learn from them so I don't make the same mistakes. Most of them don't want MIL's to advise them and definitely not to criticise them. I would look for the cause of your FDIL's antagonism and try to rectify it. Your son obviously loves and cares for her a lot and if you don't support her you will probably lose him as well. I apologize if I sound like I am taking her side, I am not! I am just saying that if you want a relationship with your son once they are married, you are the one who will have to back down. This sounds like the type of girl where you will need to act nice and supportive all the time and pretend approval even when you disagree. You wouldn't be the first and certainly you won't be the last to have to do this. Again, I don't AGREE with this girl's attitute or rudeness towards you, but that's how she is. Either you turn away from the two of them or you embrace her with all her shortcoming. I don't think anything in the middle would work.
My sincerest best wishes. Please keep us posted on how things work out. Good luck!