My FH just asked his two brothers to be best men and they had the worst reaction. He's so bummed now. They were both like why would you have two? It's ok you can just ask the other one, etc.
What do you all think? He told them that he wanted them both up on the altar with us and that they are both very important to him. (A little background: both parents passed away, these are his only two brothers - both older - 7 and 9 years older. He lost his dad when he was 9, so they've been sorta father figures.)
He was so disappointed by their reaction. I know I have seen two best men before and I thought it was fine. What do you think? Thanks.
salsbride06
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
my fh alos picked to best men. neither of them had a problem with it. one is my fh brother and the other is our very close friend of 18 yrs
LMFitz
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
I think it's sweet and meaningful that he picke dboth. I can't imagine why they wouldn't see it that way?? n Hopefully they'll come to their senses...
slwh2005
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
Posted by LMFitz
I think it's sweet and meaningful that he picke dboth. I can't imagine why they wouldn't see it that way?? n Hopefully they'll come to their senses...
Thanks. I agree. I think it's ruined now for FH. Their reaction was so disappointing. He was so excited to ask them. One lives out of state so he kept on trying to get them both on the phone, but ended up asking them individually on the phone and they both had the same reaction: 'TWO best men?!! Why would you do that?' etc. I really want to call them or e-mail them to yell at them, but I won't.
Wintersbride
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
why not? if it's okay for brides to have 2 MOH's, why can't a groom have 2 BM? I hope they change their tune.
mrswask
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
Posted by slwh2005
Posted by LMFitz
I think it's sweet and meaningful that he picke dboth. I can't imagine why they wouldn't see it that way?? n Hopefully they'll come to their senses...
Thanks. I agree. I think it's ruined now for FH. Their reaction was so disappointing. He was so excited to ask them. One lives out of state so he kept on trying to get them both on the phone, but ended up asking them individually on the phone and they both had the same reaction: 'TWO best men?!! Why would you do that?' etc. I really want to call them or e-mail them to yell at them, but I won't.
Maybe that's not such a bad idea - to call or email - not to yell, but to explain- you can start off by telling them your FH doesn't know you contacted them but you waned to explain why he wanted to do that - and then talk about exactly what you said in this post! Maybe then they'll realize how important it is to him! Good luck!
slwh2005
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
Posted by mrswask
Posted by slwh2005
Posted by LMFitz
I think it's sweet and meaningful that he picke dboth. I can't imagine why they wouldn't see it that way?? n Hopefully they'll come to their senses...
Thanks. I agree. I think it's ruined now for FH. Their reaction was so disappointing. He was so excited to ask them. One lives out of state so he kept on trying to get them both on the phone, but ended up asking them individually on the phone and they both had the same reaction: 'TWO best men?!! Why would you do that?' etc. I really want to call them or e-mail them to yell at them, but I won't.
Maybe that's not such a bad idea - to call or email - not to yell, but to explain- you can start off by telling them your FH doesn't know you contacted them but you waned to explain why he wanted to do that - and then talk about exactly what you said in this post! Maybe then they'll realize how important it is to him! Good luck!
Thanks. Maybe I will do that. I am so annoyed at them now. They should have been honored! I think one of them did say he was, after he questioned why he would have two.
Mishu
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
we have 2 bm and 1 moh both gus were very happy
alibali
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
my FH and I thought we'd be happy with our decisions for 1 MOH and 1 BM.. then my sister took it all weird and basically said she'd do it but didn't really want to cause she was planning her own wedding.. and that upset me so I decided I'd have 2 MOH's and asked my best friend to be one also. This was good for the FH because he was having a real tough time picking between his 2 best friends.
we ended up with 2 BM and 2 MOH and i see nothing wrong with it
bogiedmb41
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
i think its a good idea my fh is having 3 Best men bc he has a close family and is close with all 3 brothers.
ChristineC68
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
DH had 2 best men...he couldn't chose between his brother and best friend who is basically his second brother.
I feel so bad your FH's brothers ruined this for him. I hope they realize what your FH was doing and saying by inviting them both to stand up with him.
kissy27
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
my brother had 2 best men...The only problem is, if you are getting married in a church, make sure they will let both stand up as best men....Where my brother got married, they only wanted one of them standing on the alter with them...after some fighting he was able to have both up there but only one can sign the marriage certificate
Robeymuse
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
We had two best men. DH's brother and DH's best friend. And we only had one MOH. I don't think there was anything wrong with it. They both participated, both gave speeches. It worked out really well.
oneday
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
Maybe they just reacted that way becasue they just never heard of it before. When DH asked his two best friends to be best men, one of them kept saying - you know it's ok if you pick just him - I wouldn't be offended. He just thought it was weird to have two, but after he realized why it was important (and asking me for the millionth time if it was really what DH wanted to do) he was fine. In his speech (both made speeches) he even said how he didn't understand why Scott picked both at first, but then realized it wouldn't have seemed right to not both stand up with him. I think it might be a good idea for you to talk to them too -but I'd wait till you feel a little less annoyed so it wouldn't come off as them feeling attacked. Good luck!
OSCARtheGROOM
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
I have two bestmen. My brother who I am ultra close with and my son. There is nothing wrong with it.
FrescaBride
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
My FH asked his two brothers to be the best men in our wedding. They actually had this agreement since they were kids that they will be each other's Best Men. So I have two Best Men in my Bridal Party and very happy about it. They are extremely close and couldn't see my FH choosing between them. One of his brothers recently got married and my FH and his other brother were the two best men. It was really nice and very touching. If they both agree, I think it is wonderful and it will make it more Special.
SeptemberBride03
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
We had two best men. And I went to a wedding in Baltimore last weekend and the groom had two best men. I think he should explain to them how much they both mean to him and that he doesn't want to choose between them. He can also let them know that it is very common these days (since they're older maybe weddings 10 years ago didn't commonly have two best men...)
dbcrosby
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
we are also having 2 best men - FH best friend and brother. i think its nice to honor two people
slwh2005
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Re: Two Best Men? What do you think? (kinda long)
Thank you all for your replies. I feel better about it now. I know it was the right decision. Hopefully FH will feel better too and they will both come around.
