Two ceremonies?

Long story short (sort of)...

FH and I have our heart set on a wedding weekend in New England. We booked the perfect inn for a Saturday afternoon ceremony and everything was great... until a few months ago when it dawned on me that I am not okay being married by a J.P. - I'd like my ceremony to be done by a rabbi. I contacted my family's rabbi (only met her twice) and she told me that as happy as she'd be to marry an interfaith couple, she can't do it on the Sabbath. We tried to figure out how to have our reception on Friday or Sunday, but it just doesn't work. The inn is 3 hours away, and almost everyone will have to stay over on Saturday night, so it makes no sense to have the reception at any other time than Saturday.

So... here's my question: what do you think about us having a Jewish ceremony BEFORE our date of Sat., June 14? Witnessed by our immediate family and best friends. And then having a civil ceremony with our bigger, planned party at the inn afterwards. Is that weird? We'd have 2 ceremonies the same week - one Jewish (chuppah, signing the Ketubah, 7 blessings, etc.), and one afterwards that's more modern, for our big group of people on Saturday evening, in which we write our own vows, maybe do a unity candle, stuff like that. Am I making any sense?

Sorry, we just met with the rabbi for 2 hours and talked about so much and my head is spinning!

i think that sounds fine.
many catholics do this bc a priest can only marry you in a church - so they have a private ceremony in the church and then another one at their hall

i think its a great compromise and you get to have two wedding days!

i would think that after the jewish ceremony - that you would need to do SOMETHING to celebrate - maybe take everyone out to dinner?

Well, funny you should mention that...

My mom had an idea that i HOPE works out. Why not have the ceremony on Friday, early evening (sun sets at 8:30 that week), and then have our 'rehearsal' dinner afterwards? We already booked the inn for the rehearsal dinner, so this would make it a wedding celebration dinner instead. So we'd have that... and then 20 hours later or so, we'd have our 'other' wedding. I don't know if that's too much all together? But I think I like it better than having the Jewish ceremony a week earlier... it would make our planned big party on Saturday feel more like our wedding, I think.

Just noticed your avatar...

NOT PENNY'S BOAT

Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

that sounds like a perfect idea

i really really like that idea actually - its just an extension of your wedding weekend!

love it!

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Posted by DavaDay

Just noticed your avatar...

NOT PENNY'S BOAT

Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

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just thinking about that STILL gives me the chills.

i know a couple that had two ceremonies in the same DAY!

a church ceremony in the afternoon that only some guests were invited to (close family), and then a big garden ceremony at the rh with everyone there.

AND

another couple that had their church ceremony on a friday (only family and bp invited) and then had their big wedding w/ ceremony at the rh on sunday

SO ...

its been done before, and i think its a great idea if it works out for you & your fh!

I think that sounds like a good idea. FH and I were actually considering doing this for our Catholic ceremony... I wanted to get married in Disney World originally, and the Catholic church would not allow a Catholic ceremony outside of the church... so for a while we were planning on having a small ceremony with family in the church before the Disney wedding. I then started looking at catering halls on LI and realized that I would be ok with a ceremony here, and it would be easier... just had to promise that me and FH would have our vows renewed in Disney for our 25th anniversary!

I think it's a wonderful idea! You will still be able to have your dream wedding in New England, and you can still have your faith be a part of your marriage!

Oh wow, okay, I was feeling like we invented this idea and everyone's going to think we're being weird and selfish. So nice to know that you've heard of this before!

And hey, it's an excuse to buy TWO pretty dresses, right? I was thinking that for the 'real' ceremony, I could buy a pretty short-sleeved sundress, or maybe, you know how Ann Taylor and J.Crew make bridal party dresses? I think they sometimes come in white? Something like that.

I think if it's important to you.. you should DEFINITELY do it!