UGH!!!!!!!

m

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Mad, no. but I would never be able to afford her wedding also. I would wish that she would have thought about that, and allowed me to enjoy my time, then be able to enjoy helping her plan but I wouldn't get mad. That will only hurt your friendship.

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true

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this happened to me & my cousin, and now we dont speak anymore! she ASSUMED, i couldnt afford to be in her wedding with mine after hers, so she unasked me saying she thought it would be easier for me not to be in it. i was never mad she planned her wedding after i did, and after she was engaged for 2 years, saw me planning and then she wanted to do it too. she even copied the veil i told her i wanted and her & her fiance do NOT fly anywhere...she swore they were going to drive to florida for honeymoon, after i told her we were going to aruba for the 3rd time for our honeymoon, now all of a sudden she is going to aruba too! thats why i was pissed, not that she planned her wedding but WHAT she did to me.
oh well. i am glad i didn't tell her more of my plans while we still spoke, she'd steal them too, then whoever went to her wedding (hers is first), they would have thought i stole HER ideas! LOL, some people!!!!

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DH's friend decided to get married 3 weeks before us...after we had been planning for 6 months...I was upset first, but they had personal reasons for it and it would be selfish of me to be upset...also if you fell in love with a hall and they told you there was only one day opened...what would you do?

think about it this way...you can learn from any mistakes she makes...

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It depends. If my best friend told me a few months before my wedding (that I have been planning for more than a year and a half) that her wedding was a month before mine - I would be steaming mad.

But if it happened when we first got engaged, we could make plans so that both of our weddings could be pulled off without too much disturbance.

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I agree with Yabbobay - you can learn from her mistakes. Anything you don't like at her wedding, make sure it doesn't happen at yours. If you don't like the way her photographer/videographer or band/DJ handled something, you can always tell your vendors that you don't want that done at your wedding. Don't stress over it and enjoy both days!

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My opinion -- you are overreacting. A month seems like a very considerate amount of time. Its not like she's having it the same weekend, or the week after such that it would interupt your honeymoon. Its your special day, not your special year. And with a November wedding, its not so surprising -- most people want to avoid December - February out of snow concern. So perhaps she was looking at a decision of having to either push off four months or go a month earlier. Of course keep in mind she is facing the same money issues as you, so sensitivity will be needed on both sides.

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After my wedding date was set and planning was underway I had 3 friends become engaged (2 of whom I am extremely close with). 1 planned her wedding for exactly 2 weeks after mine, 1 planned hers 3 months before mine, and the other was 6 weeks before mine. We had a great time planning together, and it was nice to have people to comparison shop for vendors with.
1 of the girls was in my bridal party, and I was in hers. It required some careful planning financially, but otherwise it was wonderful.
So to answer your question, no, I wouldn't be the least bit angry.

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i haven't posted in a while---but when i saw this i needed to share my story to make you feel a little better.

my husband is from Troy, NY---not that it is that far from LI but for them a 4 hour drive was a huge deal and my husband was already upset that a lot of his family would not make it to our wedding.

well---6 months after we had picked our date---his cousin picked the same exact date as ours and was having it in Troy. so he had his immediate family and one aunt there.....he was so upset.

yes- i agree- you are naturally gonna feel a little hurt if they plan right before yours b/c you feel like your thunder has been taken away. you not wrong for feeling that way---but i wouldn't make it a huge deal outside of people you feel close enough to vent too but remember it could be worse!!

good luck and your day will be wonderful!!!

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I got engaged after my best friend & we're getting married a little over a month AFTER she is. We have had fun planning & leaning on each other for support through difficult times. We've learned a lot together & have become closer than we ever imagined so I agree with the girls, she's important to you, as you are to her so be happy for her, support her & I'm sure she'll do the same for you! But most importantly have fun together!!!

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did your friend just get engaged?

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My friend got engaged at the beginning of feb, and set a date of aug 2, 2003. I got engaged at the end of march and set a date of July 11, 2003. She and my fh are both teachers so we wanted summer weddings. I aksed her if it would be okay and she said yes, but i never would have booked the date before asking. We are having a good time helping each other plan. She is my maid of honor, and im one of her bridesmaids. So if it bothers her, she never let me know about it. I think its fun that we get to do something so important together.

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My MOH and I met our husbands on the same day (although she didn't go out with her DH until after I went out w/mine). She got engaged almost a year after me and most of my planning was already under way (date/place, etc.). Her and her DH (my husband's best friend) took us out to eat and asked if we would be upset if they got married a month (actually 4 weeks on my friend's birthday) before us -- we were totally ecstatic and didn't care at al!!! We were so happy to be going through all this together! We were their MOH & BM -- they were our MOH & Usher. They were all nervous and worried and would've changed their plans, but they didn't want a long engagement/planning. There was no problem at all with any of our planning and we helped each other out and compared notes. Our showers were 2 weeks apart. She and I have been best friends since we're 5 and it was only right that we met and married guys that were best friends and experienced it all at the same time. And the best part is we moved to the same neighborhood, so we're still close!!!

Life is too short to be bothered by things that you can't control. If it's a situation where they start copying everything you do, etc, then you can get mad. But don't let anybody or anything spoil your happiness! It's yours to enjoy, so enjoy it!!!

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thanks guys!!

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One of my BM's is getting married a month before me as well. We picked our date and hall before they even picked their date. Doesn't really bother me that much except that it's gonna burn a deeper hole in my pocket.

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what was the beginning post of this topic? all it says is 'm'. i was just curious because the replys seemed interesting. Thanks!

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My FI cousin was originally thinking of getting married a month before me and i was mad , but shes not now

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