Everyday I'm more and more glad that we're going to postpone the wedding. There's just too much BS going on. FH is not getting along with his parents at all. They were cruel to him, me and my mom, and his mom was even nasty to him when he called to wish her a happy mother's day.
Since we're postponing the wedding, we now have time and $$ to have an e-party, which I'd really like to do, and my family offered to help with preparations, and extended family even offered to cook if we decided to have it at the house!
But here's the thing. Fh isn't getting along with his parents. They said terrible things about me and my mom, and I mean terrible things, and they show him no respect. We don't know what to do about the e-party/. I actually never want to see them again, so really I don't want to invite them. FH doens't want to invite them either b/c of the wya they'v been acting, but he still feels bad having t go through all of this wedding stuff which is supposedly joyful without his parents.. And now he's saying we shouldn't invite anyone in his family (he has aunts and uncles and cousins who we get alng with very well) because then it'll get back to his aprents that were having the aprty and it will make them even more angry. I don't care, if we're not vintiig themm it's with good reason, so I don't feel the need to hide it from them. The only thing is I don't want to cause more tensions in the family, between his aunt and his mom, for example, if we invite his aunt and not his mom. What should we do>
I'm just so upset. Planning a wedding is supposed to be so joyful, and it's been such a nightmare. I have to have a wedding wo my dad, and I'm not inviitng his family because they've been supporting him and not us at all, and now w/o FH's family..where will it end..? what should I do?
marymoon
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Re: UGH e-party dilemma
The way we ahd it before, and the way we were comfortable with was that we'd see them for family events, we saw his mom on her birthday, we got together with the family for passover, etc etc, or we'd go have brunch with them once ina while, but overall it would be limited contact. FH was trying to call his parents more until all of this happenned. but we were comfortable before with limited contact. It seemed to be going ok. Now it's just Fh isn't interested in seeing or talking to them (although he suggested maybe he should ask them to come to ''family therapy' but I don't see the point. i personally don't know if I can look at that woman ever again. The thought of her sickens me. The things she said about my and my mother I wouldn;t say about my worst enemy, and believe me I have a temper and I say what I want to say, but I would never say these things about anyone, even about this crazy 'so and so' herself.
iffer042373
Posted:
Member since
Re: UGH e-party dilemma
Posted by marymoon
The way we ahd it before, and the way we were comfortable with was that we'd see them for family events, we saw his mom on her birthday, we got together with the family for passover, etc etc, or we'd go have brunch with them once ina while, but overall it would be limited contact. FH was trying to call his parents more until all of this happenned. but we were comfortable before with limited contact. It seemed to be going ok. Now it's just Fh isn't interested in seeing or talking to them (although he suggested maybe he should ask them to come to ''family therapy' but I don't see the point. i personally don't know if I can look at that woman ever again. The thought of her sickens me. The things she said about my and my mother I wouldn;t say about my worst enemy, and believe me I have a temper and I say what I want to say, but I would never say these things about anyone, even about this crazy 'so and so' herself.
If they can't talk to their own son in a nice way then how will they be able to talk with a therapist in a civil manor. I think it would be best to go back to the way it was. I dont' blame you fro being pissed and not want to deal with them afterwhat they said about you and your mother. I wouldn't wantto talk to them or even be in the same room with them till I got an apology even then I don't know if I would be able to forgive them. I wish you luck and gfive you lots of and that everything turns out ok with this situation
marymoon
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Re: UGH e-party dilemma
Thanks so much.
I think the 'therapy' idea would cause more problems because then they'd just verbally abuse me more in front of this therapist, and as usual, I wouldn;t be able to really tell them how I feel about them (then they'd really hate me)
iffer042373
Posted:
Member since
Re: UGH e-party dilemma
I really hope it all works out
Yes I agree with you I think the therapy idea would just blow up in your face I don't even think they would make it to the appointment cuz it seems to me that the feel like its not them it you ad your FH that has the problem
JMO
sarahthegreat
Posted:
Member since
Re: UGH e-party dilemma
no matter what happens, they will always be his parents. planning a wedding brings out the worst in people. invite them and try your damnest to include them in the preparations. excluding them will only hurt them more, and its not like they are not going to find out about it.
marymoon
Posted:
Member since
Re: UGH e-party dilemma
I don't want to subject my poor mother to being in the same room with them! She's bene hurt enough.
They've been awfu troughout the whole process. Aside from all of the awful things Fh's aprents have said throughout the years, with the wedidng they're so bad..ANY time we discuss the wedding or any aspect, they decide to criticize, they don't like this, they don't like that, they won't pay a dime, but they want to invite 5000 people..it's not worht involving them. I'm getting physclaly ill just talking about them today
