Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
cbcf
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Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
So my grandma (my dad's mom) called my mom today to talk about the wedding. She told my mom that she really thinks that one of my cousins should be invited to my wedding. Background: my age limit for the wedding is 17 and no one under 17 is invited. I don't want kids there. So for my engagement party I did the same thing. And since I didn't invite this cousin to the engagement party it started sh*t but whatever we got passed it. but now that the wedding is coming up my grandma decided it was only fair the cousin was invited to the wedding since she was 15 and old enough and since she was very hurt she wasnt invited to the engagement party.
I told my mom I would invite her since it would relief some stress from my family bugging out. But then my grandma told me that I should invite my other cousins then (who are 5,7, 11 and 12) and i said absolutely NOT because I do not want kids..plus we are not that close with my dads side of the family (i hardly ever see my cousins if they know my name I would be surprised- its weird i know) so i told my mom from the beginning NO KIDS and no one under 17.
but now my mom doesnt think I should invite the cousin who is 15 because now my grandma wants me to invite the other younger ones because she would pay for them since i dont have the money (which I do i just dont want to invite kids and that SHOULD be my decision). And my mom told her that especially since me and my fh are paying for the whole wedding ourselves it shouldnt be up to her whether they are invited or not.
I hate this already drama and I didn't even make the invites yet and my mom told me she thinks my grandma is going to call me now to talk to me about this W T F I mean I love my grandma but does she honestly think she has the right to tell me who i should and have to invite.
Thanks for reading if you got this far I just needed to vent hahaha
wo0shply
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
some people need to step back and say 'its not my wedding'. I hope everything works out for you
teenigrrl
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
vent away catie! if i were you, i would not invite the 15 YO. your cut off was 17, she's under that, that's it. esp if it means you'll have to invite younger people. it's not fair to you, or your guests. she'll get over it, and so will everyone else (may take time, but it will happen).
cbcf
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
thank you....i hope my grandma realizes that.
its crazy i think i have been so relaxed about this whole wedding throughout the whole process even my sisters are like what the heck you arent nervous stressed or worried about things haha...but when people think they have the right to tell me who i should invite or what to do with my money or offer to pay for people that i dont want to invite because as my grandma said 'it should be up to the parents to decide if they want to bring their kids or not' UM HELLO it's NOT YOUR WEDDING haha like you said
THAT is what annoys me and stresses me out....lol man this wedding planning was going so well not really stressed or worried about anything and now this crap...and i am so not confrontational so i dont know what i am going to do if my grandma does call me
Kimbalina
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
catie, i hear you on this entire topic. I think worrying about family wanting other people than who you and FH planned on is just irratating!
I would just stick to your guns in the nicest way possible with your grandmother. Let her know that you and FH have decided that you dont want any kids there. PERIOD end of story. She will be disappointed and maybe annoyed, but at least she will know where you stand on the topic.
ILOVEBRIAN2008
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
i dont understand how people think they have a right to decide who u are/arent inviting to your wedding..def stick with the no kids under 17..its what u want
AR31
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
good luck hun.. i went through this same dilemma and there was nothing I could do.. i hope everything works out..
anamaree77
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
That is soooo annoying, i'm sorry you're going through that. Unfortunately, most of us have to deal with people like that...so ridiculous.
I can only tell you that when I was in that situation, I blamed it on DH's (FH at the time) family!! I know how terrible that is but we did the no kid wedding and got ALOT of SH!T for it and whenever someone complained, I explained that DH had alot of children on his side and we simply could not accomodate all of them. Therefore, No Kids ~ It just wouldn't be fair
I would explain to Grandma that if you allow these kids, it will cause major family drama and stress on FH's side of the family. What can she possibly say to that?? If you invite your cousin's, then you have to invite allllll of his......
Do you think that would work??
bluekat16
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
If your cut-off is 17 it should be respected. Hopefully once your grandma talks to you she'll understand. You can say you're making the exception for the 15 year but will not for the others since you want no kids at your wedding.
Hopefully everything works out!
snowcutie82
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
try not to stress toooo much over it. everyone is going to have their opinion on what is 'right' for your wedding...just stick to what you want to do and u'll be okay (of course easier said than done). but it'll be okay....the cousins will get over it.
if it helps...maybe call the 15 yr old and explain the situation to her and make her feel better about it and say next time u see her ull show her all the pictures/video etc?
Future Mulligan
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
are you close with your grandma? why is she all up in the guest list? i dont want to sound mean but she should back off - its like she is torturing you your mom already told her you dont want kids so why is she going to call you? why wont she let it go?
KK Holiday
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
oh no catie!! guests lists are so stressful!!! i wish i could tell you it gets easier!
i say if it will relieve some tension with your grandma just invite the 15 year old. But stand firm on the kids not being invited. its hard because once you make an exception people start to say: 'well what about so n so'
when it comes down to it you just have to say, i'm sorry if you feel offended, but this is my decision.
good luck!
Kerin2804
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
stay strong and stick with your decision.
PS you are getting married on my birthday !!! Great choice (hehehe)
babieblueeyez96
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
I feel the exact same way you do. I do NOT want kids at my wedding, so I didnt invite them. Some people were bothered, but theyll get over it.
pa56
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
I'm sorry you're going this. I went through something similiar with my Aunt getting all upset that I didn't invite her kids' boyfriend and girlfriend. Why would I invite two guests I've never met?! It's not like my 2 cousins will be bored or need company, they have the entire family to socialize with!
lizzie217
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
Awwww..I totally know how you feel....people tell will say 'oh your inviting so and so' and youll say um no Im not and they look shocked and tell you 'you HAVE to invite so and so'. It really is hard I have been stressed with the same issue
lizzie217
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
Posted by KK Holiday
oh no catie!! guests lists are so stressful!!! i wish i could tell you it gets easier!
i say if it will relieve some tension with your grandma just invite the 15 year old. But stand firm on the kids not being invited. its hard because once you make an exception people start to say: 'well what about so n so'
when it comes down to it you just have to say, i'm sorry if you feel offended, but this is my decision.
good luck!
good advice
cbcf
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
Posted by anamaree77
That is soooo annoying, i'm sorry you're going through that. Unfortunately, most of us have to deal with people like that...so ridiculous.
I can only tell you that when I was in that situation, I blamed it on DH's (FH at the time) family!! I know how terrible that is but we did the no kid wedding and got ALOT of SH!T for it and whenever someone complained, I explained that DH had alot of children on his side and we simply could not accomodate all of them. Therefore, No Kids ~ It just wouldn't be fair
I would explain to Grandma that if you allow these kids, it will cause major family drama and stress on FH's side of the family. What can she possibly say to that?? If you invite your cousin's, then you have to invite allllll of his......
Do you think that would work??
yeah thats what my FH said to do...blame it on him because he doesnt really have a lot of family (since his parents are from romania) and there are only 2 little cousins (2nd cousins) on his side that are like 5 and 7 but we didn't invite them and if I invite my first cousins who are that age you bet your butt i have to invite Fh's 2nd cousins because he only has like 30 family members coming to the wedding *not including friends of his* and I have like 90something. So it is just getting ridiculous that my grandma said i should leave it up to the parents---um...well isn't this Catie and Chris' wedding not THE BARCLAY FAMILY (my last name) wedding
cbcf
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Re: Ugh trouble with guest list and I didn't even make my invites yet!!
Posted by KK Holiday
oh no catie!! guests lists are so stressful!!! i wish i could tell you it gets easier!
i say if it will relieve some tension with your grandma just invite the 15 year old. But stand firm on the kids not being invited. its hard because once you make an exception people start to say: 'well what about so n so'
when it comes down to it you just have to say, i'm sorry if you feel offended, but this is my decision.
good luck!
yeah i was going to invite the 15 year old before my grandma even called my mom last night mentioing it. I decided I should invite her since it caused drama for the e-party. but now my grandma thinks if i invite the 15 yr old that i SHOULD and NEED TO invite all of my other younger cousins. I just don't get it haha It makes me laugh thinking people can actually say I should leave it up to the parents---are they paying NO!!!
I mean I love my grandma but come on now...I haven't had a call from her yet but she knows I work till 5pm so I might have to deal with this later tonight.
