ugh venting

coley1027 Posted: Feb 08, 2008 09:32 AM

ugh venting

my mom and i have never really gotten along, ive always been a daddys girl.. ALWAYS.. and my brother, who is only a year and a few months younger then my has always been babied by my mom ridiculously. well anyways my brother is going to be 19 in less then a month. he doesnt go to school. he doesnt have a job. he doesnt do anything except sleep till 1, then go to his friends and get stoned. my mom knows this, and there have been several incidents the past few months where police have been involved. hes 19 and the only job hes ever had was for 2 whole months part time, 3 months ago. needless to say, they pay for his car insurance, for his gas, for his phone bill (which he goes over and they have to pay almost $100 a month extra for), they pay for his money to 'go out with his friends', which in otherwords mean buying his pot. i could go on and on forever for what they do for my brother. now i go to school, i work also. i pay for everything of mine. i put my cell phone back on my parents plan because i dont use it, i only use it for text messages and the aim on it since im constantly at work or school and dont have the time to talk to people. and it would cost me $10 vs the $65 i was paying by myself. my dad and i discussed that if i paid just the $20 extra for the sidekick he would pay the $10 for my phone line since they pay for my brothers. now the cell phone bill comes in today and my mom wants $35 from me. its not that i dont have the money to give to her, its just the principle of it. my dad completely disagrees with how my brothers treated, and how its unfair and he needs to grow up.. but my mom constantly gives in to my brother and supports his habits. even when my dad tells her not to, she goes behind his back because 'its her baby'. its pathetic and puts me in such a bad mood. ughhhh ok im done venting because its all just making me angrier.

crazeee18 Posted: Feb 08, 2008 09:35 AM

Re: ugh venting

that stinks ..im sorry...at least ur dad sees what a slacker ur brother is..maybe something will get done to get ur brother back on his feet

bridej9 Posted: Feb 08, 2008 09:36 AM

Re: ugh venting

I think one of the best things you can do is just vent about these things. So many times parents coddle the ones that need it, you seem to be pretty self sufficient.

And think, you;ll be out of the house soon and maybe your brother's issues will come more to light.

Just think about how great it will be when its just you and FH together!

coley1027 Posted: Feb 08, 2008 09:44 AM

Re: ugh venting

Posted by bridej9

I think one of the best things you can do is just vent about these things. So many times parents coddle the ones that need it, you seem to be pretty self sufficient.

And think, you;ll be out of the house soon and maybe your brother's issues will come more to light.

Just think about how great it will be when its just you and FH together!

i completely agree with you.. and believe me, you dont know how excited i am to be moving out! its going to be sooo nice and stressf ree! thats all i keep telling myself '18 more months and its over!'

PoppedInASnap Posted: Feb 08, 2008 09:48 AM

Re: ugh venting

Posted by coley1027

my mom and i have never really gotten along, ive always been a daddys girl.. ALWAYS.. and my brother, who is only a year and a few months younger then my has always been babied by my mom ridiculously. well anyways my brother is going to be 19 in less then a month. he doesnt go to school. he doesnt have a job. he doesnt do anything except sleep till 1, then go to his friends and get stoned. my mom knows this, and there have been several incidents the past few months where police have been involved. hes 19 and the only job hes ever had was for 2 whole months part time, 3 months ago. needless to say, they pay for his car insurance, for his gas, for his phone bill (which he goes over and they have to pay almost $100 a month extra for), they pay for his money to 'go out with his friends', which in otherwords mean buying his pot. i could go on and on forever for what they do for my brother. now i go to school, i work also. i pay for everything of mine. i put my cell phone back on my parents plan because i dont use it, i only use it for text messages and the aim on it since im constantly at work or school and dont have the time to talk to people. and it would cost me $10 vs the $65 i was paying by myself. my dad and i discussed that if i paid just the $20 extra for the sidekick he would pay the $10 for my phone line since they pay for my brothers. now the cell phone bill comes in today and my mom wants $35 from me. its not that i dont have the money to give to her, its just the principle of it. my dad completely disagrees with how my brothers treated, and how its unfair and he needs to grow up.. but my mom constantly gives in to my brother and supports his habits. even when my dad tells her not to, she goes behind his back because 'its her baby'. its pathetic and puts me in such a bad mood. ughhhh ok im done venting because its all just making me angrier.

OH MY GOODNESS. I should set my sister up with your brother . It is almost as if you described the male version of her!

She is 20, never had a job that lasted 2 weeks.... isnt in school and now sits at home, goes out with friends...w tc...

The 'princess' as we put her.... is the reason why I have not gone home in the last week. Just stay away fromt he situation so you can breathe.

I am sorry aboutthe situation but please know I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kabo0831 Posted: Feb 08, 2008 09:54 AM

Re: ugh venting

i so understand where you are coming from, but in my sit. im not anyones babies, i have to pay for everything. but if it was for my brothers and sister my mom and dad would bend over backwards to give them every thing for them, but when i ask it like pulling teeth and i dont get it.

I would jus give my mom the money that you and your father discussed.

Feel better i totally understand

Im a Pepper Posted: Feb 08, 2008 10:03 AM

Re: ugh venting

i'm glad you let it out! that sounds like a tough situation; i'm sorry you're going through that with your mom. some things never change, you know? but i hope she realizes what she's doing and how detrimental it is to your relationship with her and to your brother's life.... she sounds like she enabling him....

coley1027 Posted: Feb 08, 2008 10:04 AM

Re: ugh venting

thank you ladies for understanding where im coming from!

kabo im going to give my mom the full $35 because if i just give her the $20 like my dad said to, i will NEVER hear the end of it. I already got the 'first youll just pay 20.. then it will go down to 10 then you wont even pay at all' speech. which is ridiculous because i pay all my bills.. and any time ive ever borrowed money from someone ive always paid them back as soon as i had the money.. but i forgot that my mom pulls the 'im irresponsible card'..

mrsfazz we should totally get our siblings together! haha then we can hang out and talk about all the reasons they drive us crazy!