So this morning i told my mom i had booked appointments with florists and she FLIPPED out on me, saying it was way too early to be searching for florists.
Then i mentioned how i'd like to include my cousin as a groomsman and my 2 younger cousins ages 10 and 13 at the time of my wedding as junior bridesmaids and if i should ask them the next time i see them. She then flipped out again and said 'WHY DO YOU NEED TO ASK NOW! You don't have to ask for another year!!!'
I mean it just ***** that i am excited about planning and she doesn't seem to care or want to be involved in the process...
She said its not my time to 'shine' right now and plan, since my sister is getting married in December, and to wait until her wedding is over to start planning. I am not trying to 'shine' but i think if i want to plan for my wedding i should be able to!!
grrrr sorry. thanks for letting me vent ladies.
grrulz
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
I really feel your mom needs to understand that just because your sister is getting married soon doesn't mean that you can't plan your wedding. There are many things to do and just because 2010 seems far away its really not. This year is almost over...as 2009 comes in it will get tougher because normally weddings are plan within a year. I am really sorry you are going thru this but just don't feel bad about this maybe your mom is just stressed out because she sees there are 2 weddings and she probably wants to have an appropriate amount for both she probably wants to be there to help you .
Goldie39
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
oh wow, that was some harsh words. sorry that you are going through this. you have every right to plan and be excited about this time in your life. The only thing that I can think of is that maybe your mom may be overwhelmed with the thought of both her daughters getting married, but it still doesn't make what she says right. I guess you can wait to see how she acts towards you after your sisters wedding and if it doesn't change, it may be best to talk to her about how you're feeling. i hope this works out for you, if anything, we're here for you and we love hearing about all the details!
Opera_Ghost
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
AAAAAHHHHH! My whole post was deleted!!!
No way I'm writing it all again but I'll make it short
I'm having the same issues with my mom. She just thinks I am doing everything way to early.
She doesn't want to go to RH appointments with me. FH can't always go cause of work so I end up going alone cause she doesn't want to go. Out of the 18 I've been to she has taken the time to see 1.
She did the same thing when I talk about Bridesmaids. Tells me 'why are you going to ask them now? shouldn't you wait till next year?'
There are even times I am excited about stuff and I go to her and she tells me she's tired of hearing all this wedding talk and how she's going to have to hear about all this for the next two years, etc etc.
So I know how you feel Hopefully as it gets closer our mom wills be happier about it and take a more active/proactive approach.
JoanneAndJustin
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
Jenn! My mom asks why I'm planning so soon, but doesn't really give me a hard time about it. It's our money, so in the end she feels we can do what we want to do.
The economy is a little crazy now... We'd like to put down down payments while we have the savings to do so.
It's a rough situation with your sister getting married in December. I'd keep the details from your mom until after your sisters wedding but still make the plans and do what you need to do to make your wedding dream come true.
JenBill61210
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
aww thanks i love you girls! thanks so much for the advice.
RitasEngaged
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
I am sorry. you are just excited like we all are and you are not trying to steal the spotlight from your sister.
It is never to early to plan. I have a a full year and a half and I hope to have all of my major vendors book by the middle of October. I feel by doing this I know how much my Wedding will pretty much cost and I will be able to save more efficiently.
bkbaby4life
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
Posted by JoanneAndJustin
Jenn! My mom asks why I'm planning so soon, but doesn't really give me a hard time about it. It's our money, so in the end she feels we can do what we want to do.
The economy is a little crazy now... We'd like to put down down payments while we have the savings to do so.
It's a rough situation with your sister getting married in December. I'd keep the details from your mom until after your sisters wedding but still make the plans and do what you need to do to make your wedding dream come true.
i second that. do what you feel you need to do right now. (i feel that if i have the time NOW to plan...why waste it?) fill your mom in on details after your sister's wedding. until then take care of the details urself.
stinenandy2010
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
Aww its ok Jenny. She is probably just overwhelmed right now since your sister is getting married in a few months. Its a crazy time for your family. Don't worry it will get better.
Yankees2323
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
whats the deal with all our moms being negative and saying we are planning early
T E R I
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
Jenny, soo sorry that you are going through this with your mom, big hugs for you , hopefully after your sisters wedding she will start being more supportive towards your wedding
Opera_Ghost
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
Maybe it is too much with your sister's upcoming wedding that she's finding it hard to focus on both weddings.
I say give it time, she'll most likely come around.
I'm hoping mine comes around as my wedding comes closer. I know my mom has a lot of stress about her business on her mind now so I'm hoping thats the reason for her lack on interest.
gemini10
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
When I read all of this, I just smile thinking 'I am not alone'! I guess all of our mothers are somewhat alike. My first issue with my mother, was '2010' - why so far away'! The first few weeks of us being enagaged - she did not understand why it couldn't be in 2009. First, the majority of everything we are paying (my parents will be giving us money ), so financially we just couldnt do it in 9 months and I would never want to rush through the planning and put myself through all that stress - just to so we can be married in 2009.
For some reason all of her friends and adults think 2010 is so far away! I tell them, its really not that far away! My mom can really drive me nuts sometimes! I try not to tell her too much...the less information the better!
rocketsummer17
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
Jenny I am so sorry you have to deal with this...We all love you here I can understand how you feel, my mother is like that also...it really hurts alot. Maybe she is overwhelmed with everything going on all at one time. I think she will come around eventually and be 100% on board, it just takes time. Hopefully after december things turn around.
Amour de ma vie
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
You're Mom has a point.... You're wedding isn't for another year and 9 months! Your sister is getting married in 3 months, so let her have her 'time to shine' then I'm sure she'll focus more on you. I don't think your Mom is trying to mean or hurtful towards you, but I'm sure she's stressed right now with your sister's upcoming nuptials, and there's no need for you to be going crazy right now planning for something you have so much time for. Personally, I'm holding off on planning until next June. We booked the Church/RH and I don't feel the need to be going crazy wedding planning this far in advance. Besides, what if I change my mind on something?? Just cut your Mom some slack! And, put your wedding $$ into an interest bearing account or CD for the next 6 months and get some interest on your savings that will help pay for some things. We have a nice chunk right now that we're just collecting interest on. Why give vendors essentially a free loan when we can be earning interest!?!? Every little bit helps...
FallBride2010
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
Posted by Amour de ma vie
You're Mom has a point.... You're wedding isn't for another year and 9 months! Your sister is getting married in 3 months, so let her have her 'time to shine' then I'm sure she'll focus more on you. I don't think your Mom is trying to mean or hurtful towards you, but I'm sure she's stressed right now with your sister's upcoming nuptials, and there's no need for you to be going crazy right now planning for something you have so much time for. Personally, I'm holding off on planning until next June. We booked the Church/RH and I don't feel the need to be going crazy wedding planning this far in advance. Besides, what if I change my mind on something?? Just cut your Mom some slack! And, put your wedding $$ into an interest bearing account or CD for the next 6 months and get some interest on your savings that will help pay for some things. We have a nice chunk right now that we're just collecting interest on. Why give vendors essentially a free loan when we can be earning interest!?!? Every little bit helps...
I dont really agree. My friend got engaged last month and when she started planning realized all her top choices for things were booked. She couldnt get the band she wanted, the photographer or the place!! With everything so expensive, people are starting to plan way in advance. I have more than two years and I am hoping to get all my stuff done by the end of this year.
MrsList09
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Re: ughhh i hate wedding/family drama
I kind of agree with your mom, although not with her freaking out. Your wedding is not for awhile and you only have to wait until December before you start planning. Give your sister some time to be the star and then it'll be your turn for a whole year and a half.
