Maybe I am overreacting, but I am pretty upset. My FSIL got engaged in Feb. They just started making plans a couple of weeks ago. This weekend they asked my fiance' to be a groomsmen. Nothing was said to me. It really boths me because both of my FSILs are in my wedding. As a result I had to leave 2 of my closest friends out of the bridal party (we didn't want a huge party - we are having 6 each as it is and didn't want an uneven number). My fiance' told me all alone not to have them in the bridal party. But I knew they would be upset. I tried to do the 'right thing' and spare anyone's hurt feelings and now I am the one who is hurt. They haven't even been helpful or supportive so far.
kpny622
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Re: Unbelievable - Bridal Party ?
Well that would hurt my feelings too. Look on the bright side - when you aren't close to the bride (which it sounds like you aren't to your FSIL), it's no fun to be in the bridal party anyway - so you just saved a lot of money!
littlecat
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Re: Unbelievable - Bridal Party ?
I can see why you would be hurt. Sorry to hear that. What did FI say to you. Did you tell him that you were upset?
JimmysBride
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Re: Unbelievable - Bridal Party ?
I'm sorry! I would be hurt by this too. But maybe she didn't ask you because she figures you are too busy with your own wedding to be in hers. You are probably better off not being in it anyway... less expense, and less hassle. Besides... she looks like the spiteful nasty one now, not you!
WinterBride2005
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Re: Unbelievable - Bridal Party ?
I would be upset too.. but maybe she wants to keep it small too and only asked your FH because he is her brother. Will she be getting married before or after you? How many people are in her BP?
tina_cuse01
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Re: Unbelievable - Bridal Party ?
Thanks ladies. My fiance' has been so supportive and understanding about it. He knows I am upset, but can't understand WHY I would want to be in it. He says save my money and don't buy a dress I will only wear once. He also said he doesn't want to be in the wedding, LOL. I made him promise not to mention it to his sister or mother.
The funniest part is, we are friends. And I thought we were getting close. I have tried to be helpful to her with her planning.
Yesterday I started crying to my mom about it. Didn't mean to (I told myself I wouldn't let it get me this upset), but it came out. Happy Mother's Day, MOM. .
Ohwell, she did, what I should have....and that was do what I want and not care about hurting people's feelings!
Sweetness
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Re: Unbelievable - Bridal Party ?
I know how you feel!!
My cousin whom I thought i was close too, his wedding just past, Put every single one of our cousins in the bridal party except for me!
Granted, I absolutely can't stand his new wife, I was still hurt. She put 4 girls under 18 in her side..
In the end, I was glad I didn't have buy a dress, be extra nice to her and have to hear her ear piercing voice that day!!! AND from what I heard she was a total BRIDEZILLA!!!
I know it hurts at first, BUT BELIEVE me in the end you will be glad you didn't have to stand next to her.
tina_cuse01
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Re: Unbelievable - Bridal Party ?
According to my fiance' (this is all second hand) they are having the same size, 6 each. We are getting married late Oct and her wedding is June 05.
Corduroy94
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Re: Unbelievable - Bridal Party ?
Posted by kpny622
Well that would hurt my feelings too. Look on the bright side - when you aren't close to the bride (which it sounds like you aren't to your FSIL), it's no fun to be in the bridal party anyway - so you just saved a lot of money!
I couldn't agree more! You have so many expenses fo your own big day. If it still really bothers you, you should talk to your FH.
sophie78
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Re: Unbelievable - Bridal Party ?
I wouldn't worry about it too much. It may just be a numbers game.
Marisa&Brian
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Re: Unbelievable - Bridal Party ?
I can understand why you would be hurt. - But you were not obligated to ask her to be a BM (I know you did it b/c you thought it was the 'right thing' to do) But she is not obligated to ask you just b/c you asked her. - Don't let it bother you - less of a headache and more $$ in your pocket. - And don't tell her you're upset about it - just take it in stride. - sometimes being the one who always 'does the right thing' ends up coming back to haunt you - I know how you feel -
oakslady
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Re: Unbelievable - Bridal Party ?
i would kick them out of the bp if they have been no help to you and ask your friends - to hell with keeping the peace - do what you feel is right it is your day
