Due to budget restraints, we invited some of our frineds without guests. One just emailed me and said 'I can't wait for your wedding. I will be there with my new boyfriend'. How do I politely email her back saying she wasnt invited with a guest....Ugh!
madseason
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Re: Uninvited Guests
this is a touchy subject. IMHO...I think it should be all or nothing.....Did you only invite singles w/o guests and married couples?
Emily08
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Re: Uninvited Guests
Just tell her that unfortunately you guys are maxed out and don't have the room. She may be emailing you to test the waters to see what you say, so I would definitely tell her from now.
Kimbalina
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Re: Uninvited Guests
Do you know her boyfriend, or is this some 'random' guy? If you know him and he has been around for a while then I think you should invite him. You need to make clear lines of who is invited w guest and who is not.
Julybride08
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Re: Uninvited Guests
Posted by Emily08
Just tell her that unfortunately you guys are maxed out and don't have the room. She may be emailing you to test the waters to see what you say, so I would definitely tell her from now.
I agree, Just e-mail her back and tell her you are maxed out and if you get enought no's she can bring him but as of right now she can't.
RnKHStill4eva
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Re: Uninvited Guests
i agree just let her know the honest truth and let her know as soon as possible. so that her dreams of grander about having a date dont spiral out of control
madseason
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Posted by Kimbalina
Do you know her boyfriend, or is this some 'random' guy? If you know him and he has been around for a while then I think you should invite him. You need to make clear lines of who is invited w guest and who is not.
i completely agree!
blaine08
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Re: Uninvited Guests
We just sent out our STD and one of FH friends said shes planning to bring her BF. We were only inviting her family (family of 7!). I cant really say anything b/c his list was so small compared to mine. But still... its so hard, i really wish we could afford to have all these ppl there but its not possible!
price867
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Re: Uninvited Guests
Thank you for all your advice. Her 'date' is a brand new boyfriend. Nobody even knew she had a boyfriend. I wish I could invite everyone with a guest, but to invite everyone we wanted, we had to invite them without guests. We just can't afford it
TJ22908
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Re: Uninvited Guests
I think you should be honest If shes really a true friend she should understand
Kimbalina
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Re: Uninvited Guests
So if that is the case, it should be the same for all of your guest.
truelove5803
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Re: Uninvited Guests
I had to do this the other day with my cousin and his wife who added their son to the reply card. Here is the email. Just change it to apply....
Hi Tracy, How are you guys? It was so great to get your reply that you guys are coming! Although, I love that little Derrick wants to spend our day with us, we are really pressed with attendance at max capacity. We actually dug ourselves a big hole and we have invited more than our max capacity. I really feel honored that you guys would like to bring him, but as you will see, the hall is going to be a bit “snug.” I really hope this doesn’t cause a problem for you guys, and that you two can still come, but we really don’t have the room to add him to our list.
Again, we are really sorry,
Jess and Brett
MrsHtobe
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Re: Uninvited Guests
Everyone on here is going to give an opinion as to whether or not you should let her bring her 'new boyfriend'
What it really comes down to though, is that if you can't afford it and don't have the room, just tell her politely. I'm sure she'll understand. Especially if you explain to her that the list was made up a long time ago, and you completely invited your max, she should be understanding knowing that your list was created a long time before the boyfriend came into the picture!
Personally, I would explain to her that we don't really have the room, but if it looks like we are going to have more room as the wedding gets closer that I would definitely let her know.
heathermatt
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Re: Uninvited Guests
you have no room...Anyway...isn't there some unwritten rule that if you are not engaged then the boyfriend does not have to be invited...I do not know...Just remember my fam throwing that at me once....
bluegreen08
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Re: Uninvited Guests
We are inviting people in 'serious' relationships and are interpreting that to mean whatever we want. As of right now we are inviting anyone we know who is in a relationship (for more than a few months). I think the 2 shortest relationships are from summer 07, and while we were unsure at first we decided to invite them too since they will be together a year by our wedding. My little cousin has a new bf every few weeks so we did not invite her +1.
We're not restricting based on 'living together' or 'engaged' because it's not fair to people who might be waiting but are still serious.
We are leaving our single guests as single invites (which are many -- we are the first of our friends to be getting married). If people later enter into relationships and ask us if they can bring their SO, we will probably say yes unless WAY more people RSVP yes than expected. We are inviting many OOTers and while we expect a bunch to say no, we recognize that they can always say yes! We just don't want our guest list to get out of control and invite tons and tons of '+1s'
It's up to you. You can tell her that for space purposes you are only inviting people in very serious relationships, but that if you have room after more RSVPs come in she might be able to bring him. or, you can give a definite no
bemyyoko
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Re: Uninvited Guests
I've had several people tell me they were bringing a guest when they weren't invited with one. So far I have told them all the same thing... 'I'd love for your (bf/gf) to be there, however our room only holds so many people, and in order to have everyone who is near and dear to us, we were unable to invite our friends/family with a guest. If we happen to get a lot of no's I promise your (bf/gf) is on the top of my list to fill their seats. I hope you understand.'
only one person has argued the point and that's b/c he's a jacksasss
DGoldfarb0776
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Re: Uninvited Guests
I would say if you have the room and that she's been seeing him a while- yes invite him- otherwise if it's just a random guy she's dating then I would tell her that your maxed atm and can't do it.
040508Bride
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Re: Uninvited Guests
I would say something like i would love to have your SO at the wedding, however, because of various factors we are not able to extend the invitation to guests at this time. I hope you understand and am truly sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.
KPAC
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Re: Uninvited Guests
I had a friend tell me, for about a mutal friend's wedding, that she was excited that 'she has a year to find a date to for Sue's wedding.'
Scared me because our list is overflowing right now. Outside of the wedding I want all my friends to have serious relationship. I hope them all the best. But OMG i don't know if that happens how I'm going to fit them all!?!
alissa5517
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Re: Uninvited Guests
Just be honest with her. You should give her a call and talk to her instead of an email. This way when you tell her that you are sorry that she can't bring him she will know you mean it instead of interpreting it how she wants in an email.
