Ok so we starting putting together a guest list and I have a question for everyone. Keep in mind that we are paying for our own wedding.
I want to keep the wedding as small as possible...hopefully around 125.
My father's family is very very strange and I barely know them. Growing up, they all lived in different states and no one really bothered with my brother and I (except for one Aunt who passed). Even my grandparents never really were concerned about us. For example, my grandmother didn't pass until I was 19 and I met her twice in my life, grandpa once.
Now Dad only has one brother left whom I met once. But he has 6 neices and nephews all with at least 2 kids each, all out of state. I swear if I met any of them more then twice, I'm shocked.
It would wind up being at least nearly another 30 people I'd have to invite. I think they might actually come too.
How do I handle this? I wouldn't recogize my cousins if I was sitting across from them. Its like having strangers at my wedding, which I will not have!
What do I do????
sharivera
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Re: Unknown family guest list?? Sorry Kinda long....
Even though they are family if you don't really know them, you really aren''t obligated to invite them. How does your father feel about it? does he want them there? if he doesn't care, then its up to you.. honestly a wedding should be a gathering of all those you love and who love you, if you dont even know them, they really do not need to be invited. I jhave family on my mothers side that we aren't close to at all, and have pretty much lost touch with over the years. They are not invited... JMO! hope this helps...
lovelee
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Re: Unknown family guest list?? Sorry Kinda long....
maybe you should talk to your dad about the situation... see what he thinks you should do, since it is his side of the family. I totally understand your predicament, not sure if id want to invite all of them too. but see if your dad would be upset, or if he thinks the family would be and go from there. good luck!
RadiantBride
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Re: Unknown family guest list?? Sorry Kinda long....
If you really dont know them, I would invite your uncle out of courtesy but not your cousins. When you are paying for your own wedding adding 30 people that you barely know family or not is not cool. Speak to your dad and let him know your concerns and what he suggest you do. I dont mean to sound tic for tac but did your cousins invite you to their wedding or events? If not then the answer should be a little easier.
JennyAPH
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Re: Unknown family guest list?? Sorry Kinda long....
Posted by RadiantBride
If you really dont know them, I would invite your uncle out of courtesy but not your cousins. When you are paying for your own wedding adding 30 people that you barely know family or not is not cool. Speak to your dad and let him know your concerns and what he suggest you do. I dont mean to sound tic for tac but did your cousins invite you to their wedding or events? If not then the answer should be a little easier.
I agree
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: Unknown family guest list?? Sorry Kinda long....
if you're paying for it, you have the say in the guestlist. Tell dad if he wants to pay for those extra people, then he can go ahead and do so. sry if that seems harsh, but why should you invite people you hardly know... i have to do the same and dont like it bc i wanted a smaller gathering, but parents are paying for the reception so i really cant say much
Future Mulligan
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Re: Unknown family guest list?? Sorry Kinda long....
we had some of this - inviting people for my parents - we invited some of their cousins and their aunts and uncles (aka - really old people ) but we didnt invite kids or anything like that - id say invite just invite the adult - the uncle - not all his children - if your parents want to invite them and there is the chance the whole family will come maybe your parents can help you pay for those extra plates? for us this wasnt an option, we have to pay for it all by ourselves so thats why we had to be careful - but that may have backfired - i cut the list so many times worrying about going over and now i think we may actually be under!
HamptonsBride
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Re: Unknown family guest list?? Sorry Kinda long....
I have an Aunt & Uncle and 4 cousins that i didn't invite...i haven't seen them since we were kids (one i never even met) and honestly after NONE of them showed up for my Grandmother's funeral (my Uncle's own mother) i said F- them all.
Just because they are blood in my opinion doesn't make them family...i have neighbors I grew up with that although we aren't blood related that i consider a bigger part of my life and family then my stupid relatives. To me family is who matters most to you....not DNA. I didn't feel the least bit bad about not inviting them either...especially since DH & I paid...my parents understood and had no issue. Good luck! It's your day...if you don't want them there...don't invite them....
BAL5-9-05
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Re: Unknown family guest list?? Sorry Kinda long....
Honestly...We're paying for our own...& cutting out (especially me) MANY family members......we're going for a head count of 75-100....I'm even doing family w/o guests too....SOrry! I'm sure I'm going to offend a few.....
BAL5-9-05
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Re: Unknown family guest list?? Sorry Kinda long....
Posted by HamptonsBride
I have an Aunt & Uncle and 4 cousins that i didn't invite...i haven't seen them since we were kids (one i never even met) and honestly after NONE of them showed up for my Grandmother's funeral (my Uncle's own mother) i said F- them all.
That's part of how I see it too....
jaep129
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Re: Unknown family guest list?? Sorry Kinda long....
OK FH has a half brother (same dad) that he use to see alot as a kid. He has seen him once in the 10years we have been together and I was not there. We didnt invite him. You dont have to invite people b/c they are family. JMO
gina409
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Re: Unknown family guest list?? Sorry Kinda long....
Posted by gporka23
Posted by RadiantBride
If you really dont know them, I would invite your uncle out of courtesy but not your cousins. When you are paying for your own wedding adding 30 people that you barely know family or not is not cool. Speak to your dad and let him know your concerns and what he suggest you do. I dont mean to sound tic for tac but did your cousins invite you to their wedding or events? If not then the answer should be a little easier.
