FH has a best friend who has been dating an amazing girl for over 5 years...its no secret that they will eventually marry...but hes not even close to proposing...mostly for financial reasons...but between me and fh getting engaged (after less than 2 years together) along with other friends walking down the aisle, its definatly become an issue for them...he says that he doesnt want to be 'pressured' into proposing because its takes the happiness out of it...
so i was wondering...
anybody have a FH that was 'pressured' to propose...(not in a bad way...like that was the only reason he popped the question)...but was it maybe a factor that motivated him to do it when he did? perhaps age, length of dating relationship, hints from you, friends getting engaged?
ill be the first to admit that my fh may have felt a little of the above...he proposed cos he wants to marry me...but he didnt waste anytime buying a ring because of that little bit of 'pressure'...
just curious
HSsweethearts
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Re: Unofficial QOTD: Sorry a bit long
I 'pressured' Fh into proposing since our first year dating. LOL
Our Senior year of HS was when Debeers came out with the 'What are you waiting for, the year 3000?' campaign (since it was 2000) so I used to always say that to him!
LOL, but I didn't really pressure him. We mutually discussed getting engaged at the right time. We went ring shopping, and FH said he didn't want to get engaged until after college. I didn't think we needed to wait. He proposed during Senior year of college. It was perfect.
I think my BFF is feeling a lot of pressure. She's been with her bf on and off for 5 years. She didn't intro him to her dad for a long time because her dad is old school and knowing they were together so long he'd expect a proposal. She did recently introduce him. And her 3 best friends have all been married/are getting married in the past year. I think they're both feeling a LOT of pressure. I feel bad because it needs to be RIGHT on YOUR timeline, not everyone else's.
meghan13
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Re: Unofficial QOTD: Sorry a bit long
I would say I put some pressure on him to propose but he wasn't going to do it until he was ready.
What actually 'inspired' him is when his ex girlfriend called him (he didn't recognize the number - they haven't spoke maybe a month into our relationship, she tried to break us up). He right away told her he didn't want to talk to her and not to call him. He said it was that moment he realized he didn't want anyone but me and proposed sooner then he thought. He was going to wait until he was in his career (he wants to be a cop). Here we are just about three months away from the wedding and he still hasn't been called up!
I really think that guys will wait until they are good and ready to propose.
Lana and Johan
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Re: Unofficial QOTD: Sorry a bit long
I would have to admit FH was a little pressured to propose. I knew he would eventually do it, but he got a little push from friends, family and me:).
We were together for 3 1/2 years and I just gave birth to our son. I thought it was time to make the next step. He was waiting....for what? Nobody knows.
rosatemp
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i wouldnt say i pressured him...we have been together almost 6 yrs and we are in our 30's so i let him know i want to get married so we can start a our family..he wasnt ready not cause of anything more then fiancial and i get it but to me it was like lets get engaged and wait to get married i just wanted that next step..but needless to say we got engaged november and i was so shocked and wasnt expecting it and 10 mts later getting married
IrishAli
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Re: Unofficial QOTD: Sorry a bit long
We had talked about it forever, and we are technically Domestic Partners in DC (loved his dental insurance!)
But I did make it clear to him when he went to grad school that if he got a job in NY and expected me to quit my job and move, there had to be a wedding so I could have health insurance, or I wasn't moving
So here we are!
WeezyGirl2354
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No pressure - FH and I decided LOOONNNGGG ago when we first started dating, that if/when the time came to propose 2 things had to be in order
1 - His health, though when FH and I got together he was cancer free, he still wanted to make sure he was at 100%
2 - He got a tenured teaching position - though, with all the budget crap going on it doesn't matter, but at the time it was super important in regard to job security. He was a tenured teacher on September 9th (i think, the first day of school) we got engaged on September 26th.
I knew it would happen that school year, I just didn't know it would happen that EARLY in the school year LOL.
Kelli218
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Re: Unofficial QOTD: Sorry a bit long
I think most women put pressure on their men because let's face it... most men need a little pushing lol J/K
I let my FH know as soon as we started dating 4 years ago that if the relationship wasn't headed in a serious direction then it isn't the relationship for me!!! I wasn't looking to waste my time... So, I think he got the message early on!
Chanwich
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FH definitely had NO pressure from me whatsoever. I was actually pretty sure we weren't going to get married ever, just be living together, which was fine by me! I never really dreamt of getting married or anything like that. But it was a pleasant surprise when he asked me (6 years into our relationship lol).
justnicethings
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We talked about it and whenever he would be randomly kneeling to get something, I'd joke and yell 'YES I WILL MARRY YOU!' I don't think anybody else pressured him. Although, if we weren't engaged at this point, I would have probably left him. I'm not crazy about a timeline, but waiting longer would have been a waste of my time and he knows that.
legalchef
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He probably felt a bit of pressure. We knew very early on that this relationship was 'the one' and he wanted to move in together, but I wouldn't until we were engaged.
I think he may have waited a bit longer, except that we went to Hawaii in August and he knew that if we went to Hawaii and he *didn't* propose that he would be swimming home.
MrsDtoB
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I never once brought it up. We do have a child together, but I was perfectly fine just living together, it didn't bother me one bit. FH told me that is why he proposed, because I never brought it up! Of course I said yes though
Moonmist09
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i was in a previous relationship before FH where my ex was my ex FH. we were together for a total of 8 years and after 3 years i started harping (yes harping) because we were already together too long in my opinion and my family was complaining to me because of this. after 6 years together he finally proprosed but because by that point i had had enough and he did want to marry me but he had a lot of financial problems. that whole relationship was riddled with problems and we obviously did not get married. I know that the harping didn't help but i just couldn't stand being with someone for so long and not taking the relationship to the next level. I know we started dating when i was super young but still. when i started dating FH, obviously i was older and i knew i would not be willing to wait another 6 years before i got engaged. i let FH know that early on and he was on the same wavelength. When Fh and I hit our 1 year anniversary, my sister was getting married one month later and she was getting all these bridal magazines. FH caught me looking at one and he asked me if i liked any of the rings in that magazine, i said no but when the time comes i will start looking. he told me right then and there to start looking and i didn't need to be told twice! I was engaged 3 months later
