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****Update at bottom*** Thank you ladies for all the help. I am sorry for all the rants I have posted. You all are wonderful people. Thank you again for everything.
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Posted by flairforfashion
I am sorry you are going through this. First off, you post a lot of rants- it seems like you are really unhappy quite often. Do you talk to people about your problems? I think that would be a start- like an outsider looking in, you know?
Second, you need to tell your FH how you feel. Totally have it out and talk calmly- it works- trust me. Sometimes they do not realize how they are acting and will pay better attention when it's mentioned. Guys are clueless.
It seems like you are really stressed about finances and such- maybe moving the wedding at a later date would be best? Would that make you happier? Plus, if you are bringing Dr's notes to work, it should cover it if you have an understanding boss. Take care of your health first!
Im sorry that all these things are happeneing at once...when it rains it pours. I can understand how it can be very upsetting and hurtful but I have noticed from your posts that you have been upset a lot lately. I agree that your FH should be putting you first esp while you are going through a painful situation like this. I dont want to seem harsh or mean here but this is the best advice I can give you right now.... If you have talked to you FH multiple times about how upset you are and how you feel unimportant to him then I think YOU need to make a decision. Can you live your life like this? because from what it seems like it doesnt look like hes goign to change very much (esp if you have talked to him more then once about it). so I think first you need to talk to him one more time and if things dont get better then I think YOU need to sit down and have a serrious self refelection about what kind of future you want for yourself and what would make you the happiest. this is just my opinion im not an expert at this but I think its what I would do if i was in this situation. I honestly think that things might get worse before they get better. you need to take care of your health..mentally and physically. I hope you both can find a compromise that will make you BOTH happy.
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. But you have to kind of chill out and try and take a deep breath. When it rains, it pours. Your teeth are obviously a major issue. Do you guys live together? Does he understand this? Does he not know you are hurting as much as you say you are? And I don't mean just the pain - like everything else you are feeling and going through. Does he know how stressed this is making you? Sometimes guys don't get things until you actually tell them. And not to be on his defense, but if a guy can't fix things, they feel worthless - so maybe that is his way of coping with what you are going through too. (And I only say that because I know if I am upset and my fh can't do anything to make it better, it frustrates him to the max.) You guys really need to sit down and talk about it. As for you parents, they are going to feel however they want. Try not to tell them too much - that is my personal opinion. I feel the more they know about whats going on with the two of you, the more they are going to be against him - and when you and the fh are good, they will still feel that way. Maybe you should go see someone to talk to about this - someone more experienced on how to handle this situation - it is a lot on your plate. And it is nothing to be ashamed of either, about 80% of people these days go to talk to someone - its good to get things off of your chest every once in a while!!. Think about it. But definitely sit and talk with the fh!! It will all work out!!
i have not seen many of your rants but this one was a mouthful. I feel horrible that you are going through this but it sounds like emotionally you are stuck. Especially since you are having such a hard time right now it's not going to be easy to face such a serious situation in regards to the relationship that has developed between you and your fh. From my experience with myself and with friends of mine no one can do it for you. Talking feels good for the now but reality is you are going to hit rock bottom before you can climb to the top again. Good Luck to you, I hope you come out of it before it's to late. I mean he doesn't even sound financially responsible let alone relationship wise...think about that.
Thank you ladies for all the help and advise you have given me. I am sorru for all the rants I have posted.
Thanks VickiR510. You are really sweet. I truthfully thought he loved me and wanted to be with me.
This is really intense. I just can't believe that you think he would physically abuse you! If that's the case, I really don't think there's ANYTHING else to consider - I think it's time to go. This relationship has been going downhill for a while but if you add physical abuse in to the mix, there's nothing left to do except leave this situation before you do get hurt. I'm sorry you had to deal with all of this and I hope that you're able to move on without him. You'll find someone who respects you and loves you and would never physically or verbally abuse you. No woman deserves to be verbally abused (or physically, for that matter, if that's really where you think this is going). Best of luck and we're here to listen!
Posted by 2009wedding
Thanks VickiR510. You are really sweet. I truthfully thought he loved me and wanted to be with me. I never thought he would ever be like this. I have known him for 4 years and he is a wonderful man he has changed the last few months and he says it is me I bring out the worst in him and that I screwed him up. I love him to death but I know this is not what I want for myself especially now with everything I am going threw with my teeth, my family, both families about our wedding and my grandfather being sick. I really don't need the extra stress. The dentist said today I have a very bad infection and I need to stay stress free for a while cause I can cause myself to get worse. I told him this and it seems like he wants that to happen. He says I am always sick. Which I am not I have a few miner problems with my health but that is not my fault a doctor messed up on a surgery and I got very sick from it. If he loved me he wouldn't be doing this maybe his sister is right that he is only getting married to me to say he did the whole marriage thing and so he can get what my family has. I never thought he would be like that but I do n't know who he is anymore. Last night he yelled at me like he was in the military and I was a soldier. All I asked was can we stop off at my house to get my meds so I can take them for this infection he said no I have to over come this soldier. I said I am you fiance not a friend who was in the army with you and to stop treating me like this. Maybe he is cheating on me. Maybe there is someone else. Maybe he never loved me at all and wanted to just do all this to hurt me. I have no idea but all I wanted was to love him and for him to love me. I thought he did I guess I was wrong.
I am really sorry that you are going through all of this. There is not too much I can say that the other girl here have not already said- What I can tell you is that I was in a really BAD relationship with my ex and I keep trying to FIX it and things eventually spiraled out of control. If you feel he may hit you next GET OUT NOW...I can tell you from experience that if you think he might do it he probably will. Good Luck!
you have FM
I am so sorry that you have been dealing with all of this. You really deserve to be treated better. Especially since you've been sick. You deserve to have someone who loves you and worships you and at this time in your life waits on you hand and foot. You are so miserable and he is being horrible to you, you're right, you don't need that and you don't deserve that. Leave him. It will be the best thing ever for you, and you will find someone better.
Posted by 2009wedding
Thanks VickiR510. You are really sweet. I truthfully thought he loved me and wanted to be with me.
