UPDATE: Going to kill FMIL!!!

Two can play at that game.

You can tell her since she is not contributing to the wedding her name will not be on the invitations and she can sit in the back of the room at the reception. She will not be honored at the ceremony and will not be part of the bridal party.

That sounds really rude and obnoxious I know, but she is trying to make it hard for you.

Another choice would be to cut your guest list down not to include her family. Your FH will be mad but it may just be the thing that makes him confront her.

I don't mean to cause problems for you and FH but he has to stand up to her. If she realizes that you are also doing things deliberately to undermine her, then maybe both will wise up.

I still can't believe she took it upon herself to say those things. She should have to make up the difference in $$ that you need for your house.

my fh has a tendency to be non-confrontational with his family, but when they get my stinger up and I tell him to get them in line- HE DOES IT.

he is finally seeing what I have been saying all of these years, but if ANYONE in this world tries to hurt you or speak of you ANY WAY other than kindly- he should come out of the corner with his GLOVES OFF. but YOU need to insist on it

your FH should never let anyone undermine your future- ESPECIALLY his mother....you have to talk to him. he needs to grow up and face his mother like the MAN (about to marry a WOMAN) that he is.

oh yeah- definitely DO NOT talk to your FMIL about this....

He called you 'crazy?'

I had a talk with my FH a long time ago even BEFORE we were engaged. I told him that once he is married, that his family, namely his parents but especially his mother, will have to realize that the WIFE (and future children) will be his priority. A man can have a great and strong relationship with is parents after marriage but his OWN family unit has to come first. I think that should begin at the time of engagement.

I really have no personal issues with my FMIL. She seems to like me, but what concerns me is that she has expectations of FH that may soon come to an end. She will have to rely more on her daughters (25 and 30) for household issues and other family obligations.

Your FH will have to go to bat for you. I would have a long talk with him before he calls you 'crazy again'. Let him know how you feel.

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Posted by hmpena

I definitely would take issue with him calling you his 'crazy future wife.' I think you need to have a serious talk with him and express your feelings. It's not right for him to undermine you to please his mother. As Leslie said, you are going to be his wife and his relationship with his mother is going to change. Your relationship has to come first.

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I totally agree with leslie and hempena. When a man takes a wife the two of them are a family unit and must come before all else. They must be a unified front. If he is still cleaved to his mom then I am sorry to say that I can already predict your future as a couple.

I'm sorry to tell you this but you seriously need to have a talk with your FH before you make any further wedding plans. If he is defending his mother even after given proof by his own family that she did this, and calling you crazy, there's a serious problem.

I was once engaged to a big time momma's boy. He actually wanted her to live with us when we got married!! He would constantly take her side over mine and tell me her opinions on our relationship. I finally broke down one day and yelled at him telling him, 'Is she here? is she under the bed? in the closet? Because last time I checked it's me and you in this apartment, me and you in this relationship, not me, you and your mother!'

He finally got the point after that. But needless to say his being a momma's boy would cause definite problems down the road even after marriage, and I knew that, so I broke off the engagement.

Sorry to say this but I think the REAL problem here is FH!! Many of us have FMIL problems but under NO circumstances would I allow FH to talk that way about me to my FMIL!! He's supposed to stand up for you, not make you look like the bad person in this situation...which by the way is HER fault in the first place.

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Posted by gNi1125

Sorry to say this but I think the REAL problem here is FH!! Many of us have FMIL problems but under NO circumstances would I allow FH to talk that way about me to my FMIL!! He's supposed to stand up for you, not make you look like the bad person in this situation...which by the way is HER fault in the first place.

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I agree with this What he did showed you no respect at all. and the fact that he is ignoring proof that his mom is lying and still wont believe it means he is in denial.

I think you should let him and his mom have eachother and move on to a happier and healthier relationship with someone else.

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Posted by Jennie0898

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Posted by esb980

I just called FH fuming! He told me to call her, but I have to calm down before I do, or else I might say something I regret!

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Ok, while I agree that your FMIL is way out of line I don't think this is your battle to fight. Your FI should be saying something to HIS mom, not you. If your mom was saying something about your FI or his family wouldn't you handle it? I know I would. By you approaching his mom it makes you look like a greedy bridezilla. The way she sounds I would suspect if you said anything to her she would turn it around and tell people something completely different and make you look bad.

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i agree if your FI sees the impact his mom has on you HE should handle her.

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Posted by Happily Ever After

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Posted by gNi1125

Sorry to say this but I think the REAL problem here is FH!! Many of us have FMIL problems but under NO circumstances would I allow FH to talk that way about me to my FMIL!! He's supposed to stand up for you, not make you look like the bad person in this situation...which by the way is HER fault in the first place.

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I agree with this What he did showed you no respect at all. and the fact that he is ignoring proof that his mom is lying and still wont believe it means he is in denial.

I think you should let him and his mom have eachother and move on to a happier and healthier relationship with someone else.

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HELL YEAH!! I agree too!

This is just what she wants to happen. Don't let her get away with it. Now you have drama and you and FH are fighting. If she's trying to make you miserable she's succeeding. However, she is also making your FH miserable and if she cares about him, she should realize this.

FH need to stop the drama and now and be a man not a little boy. Let him know that if you have to do it, he may as well not have a penis.

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Posted by Blu-ize
FH need to stop the drama and now and be a man not a little boy. Let him know that if you have to do it, he may as well not have a penis.

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My God but this is true. He needs to wake up and cut the umbilical cord!!!

This whole thing is absolutely insane - I really wonder what people are thinking sometimes!!!

Are you kidding me??

I am speechless. Best of luck.

im sorry, but i would not put up with FH doing that to me... i dont think i would be able to handle living the rest of my life that way... jmo...