UPDATE -NEED ADVICE follow up to my accident - insurance agents

ok so i had that bad car accident. the car is not driveable and the accident was not my fault at all.
here is where the problem starts....
my fh used to live in connecticut, has his policy, license in connectiuct (even though he already lives here) he has his business still in ct, and works in ct,
i have a ny license, i sold my car in october and cancelled my ny policy, since we dont have two cars.
nowwwww here is where it gets tricky ---- we took our civil wedding in aug (for other purposes) but we dont consider it really married since we're going to be married in our church in april. we dont wear wedding bands or dont introduce each other as H & W butttttttt legally we're married.
so is a little messed up b/c we're married but he didnt add me to his policy. so when i called to put in the claim, they were so suspicous about the whole thing. and i dont know what to do now.
FH will call his agent on monday....
is there anything we should/shouldnt do...
i mean FH thinks the car is gone, even if they fix everything it wont be the same because the whole driver side is gone.
so now i dont know what we should do.... because FH is thinking about a new car now --- just try to get some money (pay off the loan we have on the Audi) and get something new...
any advice.
how do we go about doing this?
does the insurance agent need to send someone out first to see the car? plus the car is in massapeua.
gee this is such a pain.
we cant afford a car right with the wedding.
TIA for any advice, help you ladies can offer

Gab

OK here is an update (1/15)
This is what everything looks like --- our agent told us that if we want to get the car done they'd estimate it, we pay the deductible and the car gets done (WE DONT WANT THAT CAR bc we dont think it will ever be as safe and if we ever want to sell it, its going to be hard since its always going to be on the vin that there was an accident. So our agent said if we want to try to do that we have to go after that girls insurance company. So I called the other lady who was also in the accident (not guilty) and she said that they are going to fix her car, & I spoke with the guy from the auto body (who is also authorized auto body shop for my insurance) and he said that he thinks our car will be like 6k to fix. (our car is worth almost double that right now on kbb) so he said its up to you, we can either fix it or you can try to go after the girls insurance but if she had the lowest one (meaning i think 20/25k) then you wont get much.
So now we're realllly bummed because the value of that car is going to be much less even if we fix it, we'll never be able to get the selling price. & we dont know what to do now... Any advice? Should we get a lawyer?
HELPPPPP!!!
As far as the car ---- both doors need to be replaced, wheel, alignment, suspension
What do you ladies think?