update on ANNOYING fmil .... (sorry-LONG)

i'm not sure how many of you read my post yesterday about my fmil giving me major drama re: the seating arrangements.....well fh and i changed them all to how we wanted them yesterday and then she sent fsil over last night to help us and to get her a copy of the final seating chart so that she may review it!!! i told fsil that the chart wasnt ready so noone would see it yet....what will i do??

i am at the end of my rope with this woman....she is so pushy i cant take her....she practically demanded wedding invites for her work friends when she knew that we were trying to keep costs low...i politely said i couldn't give her any because we are overbooked and she just kept calling and calling and asking for them in her pushy way until i couldn't stand it anymore...and to think that now that i am doing the placacards, she doesnt even know these womens' first names!!! i didn't even invite MY boss or work friends and i'm the bride....FH yells at her all the time, but it does NOT sink in....she just takes it and then gets her way anyway....

11 days before my wedding and i am in tears and sick of everything.....i'm not even excited about this 'affair' anymore that isn't even mine....i know that when you marry a man you marry his family too, but i fell in love with him way before i met these psychos!!!!! no fair....

Re: update on ANNOYING fmil .... (sorry-LONG)

Oh sweete I'm sorry you are going through this so close to the big day. It is hard dealing with the MILs that wont leave the brides be..just remember that it is your day and you will be marring the love of your life. Don't let her bring you down. We all go through this, some more than others, but at the end...its all about the brida and groom and no one else. You will have a beautiful day regardless of what she does because it YOUR WEDDING. Lots of hugs

Re: update on ANNOYING fmil .... (sorry-LONG)

Stay strong. It'll all be worth it in the end - despite the bloody witch!

Concentrate on the love for your soon to be husband. Good luck.

Re: update on ANNOYING fmil .... (sorry-LONG)

Yelling is not going to work but this might:
'WE (meaning you and your FH) will be doing ALL seating. There is NO need for anyone to review it but thank you for the offer' period. end of discussion. I would never have given that women the okay to invite her friends over my own! You might want to tell her 'I gave you invites over my OWN friends. I think I have been very nice and very sensitive to your demands. At this point WE will be doing the rest of the plans on our own'

Your FH might want to even call her, and speak with her, not yell. Maybe if he tells her that she has you in tears because of her unfair demands she will back down. If not learn from this. Do NOT ask her for opinions, offer her any way to give input in the future. You will just have to 'surprise' her when you buy a home, have a baby etc...

Don't let this women ruin your special time. Turn the answering machine on and lock your doors for the next few days.

Re: update on ANNOYING fmil .... (sorry-LONG)

Stay strong and ENJOY this time. DON'T let her ruin it for you. You'll get through this and there will be hapiness with your FH at the end of the tunnel!!!

Re: update on ANNOYING fmil .... (sorry-LONG)

thanks for the support...i REALLY needed it...

Re: update on ANNOYING fmil .... (sorry-LONG)

I agree with Michele totally.

Don't worry everything will be okay and don't pay attention to you FMIL or anybody else. Just do things between you and FH; eveything will turn out beautiful.

Re: update on ANNOYING fmil .... (sorry-LONG)

I totally feel for you. It is so hard to plan a wedding and be happy about it when you feel you are being pushed around and yet you know you are a good person and are doing your best to make people happy. Be grateful that FI does stand up to her. That is so important. I agree with Michele's response to the invites. I also would try to avaiod her as much as possible to avoid the unnecessary sadness.

I had a situation similar that happen to me last week and am so upset. Lately I have been feeling like I just want to get this wedding over with and I hate feeling this way. FMIL really makes me feel this way and the sad part is she doesn't know it at all. I am sure she heard me sceaming and crying in the background when she upset FI and myself over the phone the other day and she doesn't back off or apologize. She is use to getting her way about everything and being in control. (This all occurred because we said we wanted to keep the rehearsal dinner small with just bridal party and parents..she went and asked grandparents and was about to ask aunts and uncles behind our backs). She wants people to feel sorry for her. My mom is so upset because she is really the only one who knows how I feel. FI is so excited and it kills me because I am so sad. I am doing my best to make everything happy and doing lots of little things to make things extra special and yet I am sad and want to get it over. I feel horible for feeling this way.

I don't know if I was any help but at least you have some company. I have been wanting to post something similar because writing it out makes you feel a little better.

I am just avoiding her as much as I can the next 11 days. And trying to remember the reason I am getting married and trying to spend time with people who are happy and excited for me!!!!

Re: update on ANNOYING fmil .... (sorry-LONG)

I am very happy the my hubby told his mom to back off during our planning. I think if I had these problems I would of felt the same way. Every time his mom tried to have things her way he would tell her to leave to us. I didn't mind her opinions at all but when she would get pushy my hubby always said something and she would let go.