...update on bottom

latinaj Posted: Apr 30, 2010 01:14 PM

...update on bottom

update on bottom

latinaj Posted: Apr 30, 2010 01:26 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

noone has any advice?

StaceyWill Posted: Apr 30, 2010 01:29 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

Do it via email if that would make you feel more comfortable. She is not being respectful to you, so you shouldn't give her the respect of a phone call

BriansWifey Posted: Apr 30, 2010 01:29 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

ughh that sucksss. sorry u gotta take a bm out..

i would defintely wanna do it via email too, butttttttt
prolly not the best way. id call her and tell her that she's too late to order her dress (since tomorrow's the deadline, right?) and that u wanted all the girls to match, blahblahblah.

maybe add something how u dont think ure as close as u used to be.....???
idk... good luck.

JenBill61210 Posted: Apr 30, 2010 01:31 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

i don't think email is appropriate. give her a call and explain. just be honest w/ her about how you feel... it will feel better after you've done it... like ripping off a bandaid quick. LOL good luck!!

emc282rjm Posted: Apr 30, 2010 01:34 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

I think the email thing depends on whether you want to stay friends with her or not.

If you do, then don't do it via email. Try to take her out and explain that you don't really feel like she wants to be in it and you understand that and you'd appreciate it if she'd step down.

If you don't care, then do it the email way lol

Either way, this s ucks!!

kerber981 Posted: Apr 30, 2010 01:38 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

I would ask her if she wants to be part of the BP. Give her a chance to get out before kicking her out. Let her know that you did it spur of the moment and didn't consider that it might be hard for her to participate. If she says she doesn't want to back out then tell her - great so you'll be able to participate in xyz??? Gives her another chance to say no.

Jenth Posted: Apr 30, 2010 01:38 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

Sorry crashing....

Im not sure what the best way is to do this...email, phone, etc...all seems fine to me, but you are doing this and you will be so happy after it is done.

I wish i would have done the same thing. I regret having one of my old friends in my wedding, and like you I asked her while I was still on my 'high'...anyway we grew apart right after the engagement party and she has been weird ever since. When we were at the salon getting ready on the day of she tells me she has to leave the wedding at 9pm...the reception started at 8pm! She had to take a flight to DC for her residency. if I would have know I would have asked her to not be in the wedding...and on top of it she has not called me or contacted me since the wedding...I have no idea why. There are so many othe rpeople i wish I had in my wedding in her place! Damn it

So good for you for doing this

latinaj Posted: Apr 30, 2010 01:40 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

SoontobeMrs.Brown Posted: Apr 30, 2010 01:49 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

I had the same problem.. And now not only are THREE of my BM's not in the wedding, but two of them I will NEVER talk to again and they arent invited to the wedding. I FEEL YOUR PAIN!

I would say:

Hi, I just got a call from my dress place. They said they are just waiting on just one more person to have the measurements done. I know that being in a bridal party is a big responsiblity and we are all really busy .. its just really unfair to the other girls who hustled for me and did what I asked. I totally understand that my wedding isnt the focus of everybody else's life and I dont want to hamstring you with all the responsibilties that come with being in a bridal party. Maybe it would be easier if you just came as a guest? I promise there would be no hard feelings at all! Its just a lot to ask of someone and I know that we are all doing other things. We will still all have an awesome time though!! Promise :)

*** This has subtle undertones of telling her look clearly you were too busy and selfish to do one thing for me sooo **** it! ... just without saying that directly! HTH!! Good luck hun!

latinaj Posted: Apr 30, 2010 01:53 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

Lovebug2016 Posted: Apr 30, 2010 01:56 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

I agree to talk to her...maybe write down your feelings before hand...but get her perspective to and then just be honest. Maybe shes feelin like she doesnt/ cant be a part of your BP but feels bad to tell you like your feeling bad to tell her. And if it works the opposite and she wants to be in your BP and shes slackin the way she is....then girl needs lesson in BP etiquette LOL.

cateydee Posted: Apr 30, 2010 01:59 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

i would wait to see if she orders the dress on time tomorrow and then give her a second chance (but today im feeling nice). on another note, i wouldnt ask any more people to be in your BP. it just adds drama. unless u want even numbers or something. this is coming from someone who has one MOH and thats it!

SoontobeMrs.Brown Posted: Apr 30, 2010 02:10 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

Posted by latinaj

Posted by SoontobeMrs.Brown

I had the same problem.. And now not only are THREE of my BM's not in the wedding, but two of them I will NEVER talk to again and they arent invited to the wedding. I FEEL YOUR PAIN!

I would say:

Hi, I just got a call from my dress place. They said they are just waiting on just one more person to have the measurements done. I know that being in a bridal party is a big responsiblity and we are all really busy .. its just really unfair to the other girls who hustled for me and did what I asked. I totally understand that my wedding isnt the focus of everybody else's life and I dont want to hamstring you with all the responsibilties that come with being in a bridal party. Maybe it would be easier if you just came as a guest? I promise there would be no hard feelings at all! Its just a lot to ask of someone and I know that we are all doing other things. We will still all have an awesome time though!! Promise :)

*** This has subtle undertones of telling her look clearly you were too busy and selfish to do one thing for me sooo **** it! ... just without saying that directly! HTH!! Good luck hun!

ummm i'm going to copy and paste this into an email lmao seriously this is a start for me...
i started typing an email and so far i got...

Hey,

I promise you you will regret it more if you keep her in .. you dont need these deadbeats around .. you have enough going on already .. selfish people **** ... One of the girls was my cousin! I was her maid of honor - I did EVERYTHING for her ... now its my turn and I waited SIX months!!! for her to get her measurements .. backed up the date twice for her ... she never did it then backed out on me and blamed me .. so I told her to go **** herself and not come to anything. Then I went off on her mother and Im hoping she keeps her fat *** home too! GRRRR!!!!

latinaj Posted: Apr 30, 2010 03:14 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

talked to fh..
we are going to do it this wknd...will keep u ladies posted..
thx

StaceyWill Posted: Apr 30, 2010 03:15 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

Posted by latinaj

talked to fh..
we are going to do it this wknd...will keep u ladies posted..
thx

Good luck!!

SoontobeMrs.Brown Posted: Apr 30, 2010 03:17 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

Posted by latinaj

talked to fh..
we are going to do it this wknd...will keep u ladies posted..
thx

Good luck! You'll feel so much better when its over ;)

NYYankeeGirl72 Posted: Apr 30, 2010 03:19 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

Good luck sweetie!!!

Moonmist09 Posted: Apr 30, 2010 03:19 PM

Re: ok going to do it... going to ask a bm to step down ...HELPPPP

Posted by emc282rjm

I think the email thing depends on whether you want to stay friends with her or not.

If you do, then don't do it via email. Try to take her out and explain that you don't really feel like she wants to be in it and you understand that and you'd appreciate it if she'd step down.

If you don't care, then do it the email way lol

Either way, this s ucks!!

crashing - sorry..
i agree, if you want to stay friends, idon't think sending an e-mail would be the way to go.
whatever you decide to do, i don't think your wrong. better to have people by your side the day of that turly care about you then those who are only there because they have to be.

good luck!