UPDATE.... one of my best friends...

Okay... so besides her being busy being a doctor, there was also miscommunication that got in the way, and I guess the stress of planning a wedding in a little over 3 months.

I called her before and we spoke. Turns out, she is having a few celebrations for her marriage, which is on July 1. My parents received the invitation for the celebration at her parents' house the week after the ceremony/reception. My friend is sending THOSE invitations out, but is late in doing that because she can't find the perfect silver pen to address the invitations. She still hasn't sent them out, and actually left me a voicemail message last week explaining all this, but my stupid pink Razor phone never tells me when I have a VM message! So, I was kind of worrying for nothing. She originally was just going to have close family at the ceremony, but told her mom she can't imagine having distant cousins she didn't care about there - and not best friends like me who were there for her when she called crying through med school. So, now I have a beautiful wedding to look forward to at Mohonk Mountain House on July 1! And I feel better about the whole situation. She really is such a good person and a great friend, which is why I was so surprised and taken aback when I thought I was being left out of everything.

Thanks for all your advice and s!

SHE IS A WACKO!!!! I am beginning to realize more and more how strange people are. Honestly, I would express your feelings to her and tell her how hurt and upset you are about the whole situation. And see if you get anywhere with her.
But quick question, you said your family got invited to an After-Wedding Celebration, does that mean they already got married and are just having a party to celebrate, or your family is literally just invited to the reception and not the ceremony? How bizarrreeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by jellybean1420

SHE IS A WACKO!!!! I am beginning to realize more and more how strange people are. Honestly, I would express your feelings to her and tell her how hurt and upset you are about the whole situation. And see if you get anywhere with her.
But quick question, you said your family got invited to an After-Wedding Celebration, does that mean they already got married and are just having a party to celebrate, or your family is literally just invited to the reception and not the ceremony? How bizarrreeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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That means she will already be married on some day BEFORE this celebration... this is just the celebration. And the PARTY is at their HOUSE.

Which raises the next question.... what GIFT do I give?!?! (p.s. - she and her boyfriend at the time gave me and my FH $50 total at our e-party... most other couples gave $100)

(p.p.s. - they've known each other for less than a year).

That's all I have to say about that....

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Posted by lrs2005

I think this invite means that she is already married. I would go to celebrate her marriage. Did she register anywhere? You could get her a registry gift. Or if you are not in a particularly giving mood to the bride, you could always give a gift to a charity in her name.

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hey... that charity thing is a REALLY nice idea! Thank you!!!

I think she's GOING to get married sometime in June with just family. Well, I'm just really taken aback that as her supposed best friend (from high school), I'm not part of that.

I have been told I can be a spiteful lil witch, I would not attend and I would not invite her to my wedding. She obviously does not care aobut your feelings when you make it obvious she means alot to you. Give her the boot and move on, you're better then that.

I am so sorry. I would feel so hurt if I were you.

I cannot believe that your supposed best friend behaves this way!!!!

I've learned that friendships die as we become adults. Not all friendships can remain strong.

Try not to be bothered by her. Don't let her make you unhappy.

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Posted by sr081906

Is she still a BM at this point?

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yes (even though I haven't spoken to her in 3 months... not for lack of MY trying)

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Posted by sarahradio5

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Posted by sr081906

Is she still a BM at this point?

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yes (even though I haven't spoken to her in 3 months... not for lack of MY trying)

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This when you need to say enough is enough. Buy the dress from her and find another friend to step in or just be one girl less.

You need to think of it this way - my MOH gave me this advice when I was being presured to select my SIL to be in the wedding.

On your BIG day, you are going to be stressed, happy, excited, nervous, etc. You'll have a lot to get done in little time and you want those people who you know like you, support you and will always be there for you surrounding you on this big day to calm your nerves, get you to laugh, etc. Don't cop out and let this BM stay in for sake that it's easier on you than going through the drama of kicking her out and wondering what people will say! THIS IS YOUR WEDDING - YOUR BIG DAY! You need to choose what is best for you!

I know. You are not invited to her event and she is not talking to you. I was just wondering. How sad we find the real friends through trials and stressessful event in our lives!

sounds like a selfish friend to me..

i would keep calling her and find out what hte deal is. and tell her how hurt you are that you included her in every aspect of your wedding, and she doesnt even have the nerve to tell you the date of her ceremony. jeez.... hopefully there is a good explanation!

I would boot her out of the BP immediately. Obviously the friendship the two of you had in high school is not the same now that you have graduated and moved forward with your respective lives. If need be, pay for her BM dress.

IMHO, an 'after wedding celebration' is just that - a celebration that takes place after the actual wedding. It's the kind of thing people who elope do after they get back home. Many years ago a freind of mine eloped and then had a post wedding celebration two months later. (although she planned her elopement very carefully).

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Posted by angnick

sounds like a selfish friend to me..

i would keep calling her and find out what hte deal is. and tell her how hurt you are that you included her in every aspect of your wedding, and she doesnt even have the nerve to tell you the date of her ceremony. jeez.... hopefully there is a good explanation!

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I keep calling her, and I keep getting voicemail. I just want to know what's going on. This is so aggravating. You're right. I want her involved in the most intimate way... and she's not even inviting me to her CEREMONY!?!!

Meanwhile, I just got a text message from another friend who I didn't ask to me in my BP because she's a little older than me - and I thought it would be too much of an economic hardship for her situation (I had two friends like that) - and she wrote 'I am so lucky to have you as a friend!'. Ya know... even being busy in life, those kind of things let you know you're still special to people. I wish inviting them in now wouldn't look so much like an after-thought.