First off i want to thank everyone for their advice. I decided that last night after work i was going to tell him how i felt about everything. He doesnt get home from work till 7:45 so i had a few hours to get my head together between work and him coming home. When he got home, I just couldn't say anything to him but he could tell there was something on my mind. At 10:15 we went to be and he started saying all this stuff about how he's unhappy and doesnt look foward to coming home. So I used everything he was saying and finanlly got the words out that i dont want to marry him. He took it better then i expected. He did ask if i ment the wedding is completely cancelled or if its just off for now and we might be able to work on it and just postpone it right now. He asked like 5 times during the night and i kept getting that horrible guilty feeling and kept flipping my answer. I told him that i would give the ring back today (my fingers swell really bad at night and i couldnt even get the ring to spin last night). He is very upset and mad at himself. He has been calling me and texting me all moring saying that he loves me and begging me not to leave. He has also made comments about how much i mean to him and how much of an a$$ he has been and if its really over he realizes that he might be giving up the best thing that has ever happened. He asked me what he should tell his parents so i told him he can tell them whatever he wants. Later in the night, I found out that his girlfriend he had before me left him because he was asking for sex from another girl and she caught him and left. So he has no only done this to me but the girl before me. Since it was getting really late at this point we were both exhausted and he asked if we could talk tonight after work right when he gets home so i said yes. We will see how things go tonight but i need to stay strong and trust my instincts and not let him make feel guilty.
vicandbarbara09
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
Good Luck and Stay Strong. Don't let him sweet talk you. If he's cheated or tried to once he'll do it again.
Future Mulligan
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
don't let him make you feel guilty - he is just manipulating you....stay firm and stand your ground.....maybe he wants to make a change but it would probably be best if you both took some time off - he needs more than 1 night to realize how sorry he is....JMO
rocketsummer17
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
Good luck and stay strong...Dont let him sway your decision
JillandJoe
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
good luck! Be strong... you don't deserve to be crapped on.
PeterNina Mom
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
As a mother and woman all I can say is go with your gutt feelings. Also, if he has tried to cheat in a previous relationship and now yours then sweetie I hate to tell you this, but he will never change and it will be something you will dealing with the rest of your life. As the saying goes 'once a cheater always a cheater' apparently from you say he has proven that right (he cheated on TWO women). It would be better to end it now when you are not married and do not have children.
Good luck, I will say a prayer for you.
Caramelatta
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
Good luck!!! DONT FEEL GUILTY!!!! IF this is what you want then you should go for it....better now than later. STAY STRONG!!!
AdriandSteve
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
Do not get maniuplated because it sounds like that's what he's trying to do.
He knew something was wrong and even said he doesn't feel happy when he comes home. But because you said something first and it wasn't on his terms then he did all that other stuff (calling, texting and stuff)
Stay strong and like everyone says.. go with your gut.
(good call on telling him that it's his problem what he should tell his parents)
skinny237
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
You must be a very strong person to have such a difficult conversation with him! That same strength will help you get through this.
JenBill61210
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
once a cheater always a cheater... do not let him sweet talk you, and stand your ground. you will come out a much stronger woman. good luck!!
Jenna_and_John
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
Please stay strong you so did the right thing, look at the girl before you I'm sure she's way better off too!!!
gina409
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
good lucka nd u be strong...dont let him make u feel guilty or sweet talk u...if u dont want to marry him..keep telling urself that...keep us posted
Ray8183
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
Stay Strong
KPetekie
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
So proud of you! Never feel guilty doing what's best for you. You are saving both of you a heartache in the future and are definitely doing the right thing for you right now. Stay strong!
LiBride23
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
Keep Strong. After you and him speak tonight dont make a decision sleep on it. Push the wedding off for a while. What Your Fh did. i did to my FH. How he dealt wit me was he left me alone. we broke up 2 months. I did me i wonder, dated someone else, and i missed my Fh so so bad. He came back to me slowly but surely. But me i needed to see. I needed to find how much i loved my Fh. And know he is the only person for me.
So with that my advice to you. You do not have to take it. Everyone relationship is different. ok? Spend time apart. Ask questions tonight. alots. Get your full answers not no half *** shyt. Then when you guys are done talking. Take a step back. Breath, and walk away. if you guys live 2 gether pack a bag. Spend the night wit a girlfriend, sister, mom. If you drink. Drink a glass one glass of your favorite drink. Cry if you have to. way your options. Pro's and con's. on ur relationship. Not his and his ex. Thee are always 2 sides. Make sure u ask him What makes him feel he needs to go out and get sex from someone else. Fm me if anything.
LiBride23
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Posted by JenBill61210
once a cheater always a cheater... do not let him sweet talk you, and stand your ground. you will come out a much stronger woman. good luck!!
LOL.. I take to that.. That is not tru... lol.. i used 2 be a cheater. but i have logic. lol.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
Posted by LiBride23
Posted by JenBill61210
once a cheater always a cheater... do not let him sweet talk you, and stand your ground. you will come out a much stronger woman. good luck!!
LOL.. I take to that.. That is not tru... lol.. i used 2 be a cheater. but i have logic. lol.
that statemtn always bothered me as well bc i too have been the bad person, but i was young and stupid, and realized immediately how horrible i felt and fessed up to it.... theres a difference... some people make mistakes and learn from them... others dont ... in this case, if hes done it to the girl before you, and hes done it to you, then it doesnt look like its gonna end anytime soon... maybe he has the beginnings of an addict problem
wo0shply
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
good luck with everything and follow your gut. Stay strong!
jayepyt
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Posted by LiBride23
Posted by JenBill61210
once a cheater always a cheater... do not let him sweet talk you, and stand your ground. you will come out a much stronger woman. good luck!!
LOL.. I take to that.. That is not tru... lol.. i used 2 be a cheater. but i have logic. lol.
lol so true
BCM2009
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Re: Update to Calling of Engagement
i think if you leave you'll look back on it as the best decision. This sounds like a huge ongoing problem for him.... get out now.
