Updated... I called my Priest... its a-ok!

prinses777 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 11:28 AM

Updated... I called my Priest... its a-ok!

Hello,

This is my situation, my FH and I have really been considering getting married b/4 our actual wedding date due to insurance reasons.

My question... Do you think our church will still marry us?? Even though 'technically' we are already married??? Is this allowed???

This isn't considered Fraud right?!?!? We are getting married its not like I don't know him or anything and we are just marring b/c of insurance... RIGHT?

I am so confused right now... We were thinking of doing it next week in DR when we are on vacation... how would this work?

HELP!

MrsMagoo Posted: Apr 17, 2006 11:30 AM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

I can't give you 'legal' advice...but my uncle and his latest wife were married on the beach - and then got 're-married' in a church about a year later. The church didn't have any problems with it from what I could tell!

smara Posted: Apr 17, 2006 11:32 AM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

If you guys get married and its not in a church then the chruch will marry you. If you get married in a church the first time in DR than you would need to have a renewal ceremony.

donegal419 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 11:35 AM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

I think this is defintiely possible, but I would look into it thoroughly before you do it. A friend of mine married a girl from Ireland at City Hall in NYC. they had to do it then because the immigration laws were changing. Over a year later they had their Mass and ceremony and reception. Their marriage from City Hall was legally recgonized by the state. They just waited to have the whole Mass and have their marriage recognized by the Church. HTH.... every situation is different though, so you might want to check it out. Also, very few people knew of my friends situation... I think a lot of people (probably the older folk) would think it 'strange' that they they were already married for over a year before their wedding day. . . I might keep it between only those who need to know if this is what you decide to do.

GOOD LUCK!

prinses777 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 11:40 AM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

Thanks for the advice girls!

My mother is the only person who knows so far, I don't plan on telling many ppl, maybe just my MOH, she is my best friend, Thats really it.

CLMon7906 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 11:49 AM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know of a girl who has been married since xmas b/c her or FH's father was ill...he died very shortly after....so that he could see his last child marry. It wasn't a dying wish kind of thing, just something they wanted to do while he was still here....they are now planning the original bash that they anticipated all along....the ceremony will be for 'show.' Totally acceptable.

2Be1 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 11:57 AM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

FH's insurance allows me to be added six months prior to our wedding date. Maybe you should look into the logistics of the company, they may allow you to be added a few months before the wedding too. Would that help?

prinses777 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 12:05 PM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

Posted by 2Be1

FH's insurance allows me to be added six months prior to our wedding date. Maybe you should look into the logistics of the company, they may allow you to be added a few months before the wedding too. Would that help?

I have already tried this, they said not until we are married.

We will show them

Thanks girls for all the help!

BillsBride Posted: Apr 17, 2006 12:09 PM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

Only your church can answer this question. Are you Catholic? If you are then don't expect your Priest to just be 'ok' with it. I undersatnd your FI's need to have health insurance but by doing this your making things more important than your religion. You should talk to your officiant, it would stink to go through with this and find out months from now that you have to find a new place to get married. Good Luck!

BklynItaliana Posted: Apr 17, 2006 12:15 PM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

i was thinking of doing something similarin st thomas in a month or so..

DR isn't part of the US so i don't think it is recognized in the states... not sure though

my bosses sister got married in DR maybe 5 years ago and it's still not recognized in the US.. definatly look into this though..

AlliNMatt06 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 12:17 PM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

Posted by BillsBride

Only your church can answer this question. Are you Catholic? If you are then don't expect your Priest to just be 'ok' with it. I undersatnd your FI's need to have health insurance but by doing this your making things more important than your religion. You should talk to your officiant, it would stink to go through with this and find out months from now that you have to find a new place to get married. Good Luck!

I totally agree! The Catholic church is usually not okay with this. In my experience they are very strict with alot of things. I would call the church and find out first.

prinses777 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 12:20 PM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

Ok... Thats why I asked b/c I am getting marreid in a Catholic Church, and its not about his health insurance its about mine... MINE *****, and I am going to go under his.

I will call my church and find out.

Regarding DR... thanks for the FYI...

AlliNMatt06 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 12:23 PM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

If you need insurance, you should maybe look into getting a part time job somewhere that carries it. I worked for Catholic Health Services for 4 years. (Hospital in Smithtown). I had insurance the whole time, and good insurance. All you need to work is 37.5 hours in two weeks. It actually might be less then that, I can't remember. Other places offer this as well, and you don't have to pay much. I had full insurance with dental and vision.
Good Luck!!

prinses777 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 12:27 PM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

Posted by AlliNMatt06

If you need insurance, you should maybe look into getting a part time job somewhere that carries it. I worked for Catholic Health Services for 4 years. (Hospital in Smithtown). I had insurance the whole time, and good insurance. All you need to work is 37.5 hours in two weeks. It actually might be less then that, I can't remember. Other places offer this as well, and you don't have to pay much. I had full insurance with dental and vision.
Good Luck!!

Thanks... but I alreday have a more then full time job, its just that my insurance is HORRIBLE... everyone in the company has problems with it... I would never be able to do 37.5 hours more a week... Impossible...

Thanks!

StreetDoc6531 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 01:20 PM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

For my first marraige we got married prior to the initial wedding b/c my mom took a turn for the worse and had two weeks to live. We were married by the JOP so she could see us get married and then 6 weeks later had our planned ceremony in a Roman Catholic Church. The church ceremony was considered a renewal ceremony but honestly there was no difference between renewal/ initial ceremony. Good Luck. HTH

Lola0703 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 02:02 PM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

As far as I know, and, I am not an attorney, you can get married by the Justice Of Peace, and that is considered a civil ceremony ( you are legally married according to state law). The church ceremony is considered a religous ceremony (you are considered married by your church). One ceremony has nothing to do with the other....I think.

Again, I am not an attorney, but if you are getting married before your date, because of insurance that is not considered fraud there should be nothing wrong with that.

Good luck to you and I hope this helps.

Lola0703 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 02:04 PM

Re: Advice... I need help regarding getting married b/4 actual wedding date...

Posted by Lola0703

As far as I know, and, I am not an attorney, you can get married by the Justice Of Peace, and that is considered a civil ceremony ( you are legally married according to state law). The church ceremony is considered a religous ceremony (you are considered married by your church). One ceremony has nothing to do with the other....I think.

Again, I am not an attorney, but if you are getting married before your date, because of insurance that is not considered fraud there should be nothing wrong with that.

Good luck to you and I hope this helps.

Just read the other posts call your church then I had no idea the Catholic Church would give you a problem. I always thought a civil ceremony was different then a religous ceremony like considered two seperate things.