UPDATED! i'm trying real hard to suppress this murderous rampage....

it's very hard ... i'm so angry that i'm shaking. i've been angry since yesterday. this is not good.

it all stemmed from FILs having 7 half-empty tables .... Craig has been talking to them (read: fighting) since yesterday and they just refuse to have 6 tables as we originally asked. We even offered to give htem an oval table of 14 instead (since they had 2 tables of 7 as it was so why not) ... but apparently those two tables of 7 can't be merged

So FH and I went home and re-did the tables ourselves (took us a whopping 15 minutes) and made 6 good and full tables.

got a call from FILs this morning with the following complaints:
1) theyy still want 7 tables ... 6 will be crowded (um, no it won't ... we didn't put more people at a table than was allowed!)
2) they feel like they have no say in anything and are just 'the money' (they're giving us a portion of the costs, my parents are giving a portion, and FH and I are paying the rest)
3) at the food tasting, when Craig & I looked at the paper with the entree choices, we showed that paper to my mom first, and THEN offered it to FILs ... they're mad that they were last ... but seriously?! they have the ability to talk - they could've asked! and of course i'm giving the options paper to my mom first - i like her more than FILs!!!
4) a friend of theirs was VERY mad at them and they, in turn, are VERY mad at us because we originally told them our wedding date was august 8th and then we changed it and the friends didn't know ... um ... august 8th was NEVER an option! we never considered that date even for a second ... and if the friends had the wrong date, it's because FILs TOLD them the wrong date at some point because FH and I never did!!!
5) they're STILL upset that FH's brother's son isn't the ring bearer (this was a huge issue 7 months ago but it was resolved and FH even told his parents back then that he NEVER wants to hear about it again ... guess they didn't listen)
6) the seating chart craig and i made can't work because two of their friends (FRIENDS!!!) requested to sit with somebody specific and we didn't acomodiate them! W.T.F....!!! who makes seating requests?! how rude!

anyway, so sorry for this super-long vent but i'm livid! i want to punch them in their faces and then kick them while they're down .... SOOOO mad!!!





UPDATE:
FH just emailed me and said that his parents worked out a new seating chart with six total tables They pretty much kept the same chart FH and I made last night except that they switched 2 couples around I'm so relieved that i won this battle without actually killing anyone ... but i won't be forgiving them for their ridiculousness just yet.

Calm Down.

Dont worry about them. It is your day and you dont have to put up with this crap. Tell them it is 6 tables and that is it. If they want to do it again seating people with 'who their friends requested' then tell them they can but they are only having 6 tables or else you or going with what you have done.

I don't have very many inlaw issues thank god but that's bc they take no interest in any of this.

I feel your pain though. I wish I could say I am excited about these last few weeks but I can't right now. I think they are going to BLOW!

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Posted by celticbride
Dont worry about them. It is your day and you dont have to put up with this crap. Tell them it is 6 tables and that is it. If they want to do it again seating people with 'who their friends requested' then tell them they can but they are only having 6 tables or else you or going with what you have done.

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Yeah, that's pretty much what we told them but their response was that they'll 'try' and that they still think 7 tables are better.

i will absolutely not give them 7 tables, especially after all this drama they're creating.

hang in there. calm down. do it your way. Its YOUR day.

Can you tell them that the RH wont allow a table of 7. i know mine told me there is a min of 8 and max of 10 people at a table. under 8 I would have to pay $25 a table. (no idea why but this is waht they told me)

Maybe you can tell them that

oh my

i dont even know what to say
at least FH is with you on this, that's the most important thing I think

maybe you all need to sit down and CALMLY explain that while you value their input and so appreciate their financial contribution, they also need to understand that A) this is YOUR wedding and B) while you are working hard to make your guests happy not everyone can get exactly what they want, some compromises need to be made and guests should also understand they are coming to join you in celebration. You want their help and support with this so that everyone can have the best time possible, most importantly you two as bride and groom

i'm sorry they're being so difficult

Your FILs must be related to mine.... I feel your pain and I'm sorry they're making this so difficult.

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Posted by Future Mrs H

Can you tell them that the RH wont allow a table of 7. i know mine told me there is a min of 8 and max of 10 people at a table. under 8 I would have to pay $25 a table. (no idea why but this is waht they told me)

Maybe you can tell them that

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that's a good idea in theory .... but in actuality, they'd prob respond with 'oh that's perfect, we'll pay the extra $25 and do that then' .... but thanks anyway for the potentially good idea

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Posted by Future Mrs H

Can you tell them that the RH wont allow a table of 7. i know mine told me there is a min of 8 and max of 10 people at a table. under 8 I would have to pay $25 a table. (no idea why but this is waht they told me)

Maybe you can tell them that

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I like this idea, but I wouldn't mention the extra money - they might turn around and give it to you

Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by barbtony

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Posted by Future Mrs H

Can you tell them that the RH wont allow a table of 7. i know mine told me there is a min of 8 and max of 10 people at a table. under 8 I would have to pay $25 a table. (no idea why but this is waht they told me)

Maybe you can tell them that

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I like this idea, but I wouldn't mention the extra money - they might turn around and give it to you

Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Thanks ... actually that's a good idea ... i don't know why i didn't think of not telling them about the money thing hahaa

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

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Posted by celticbride
Dont worry about them. It is your day and you dont have to put up with this crap. Tell them it is 6 tables and that is it. If they want to do it again seating people with 'who their friends requested' then tell them they can but they are only having 6 tables or else you or going with what you have done.

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Yeah, that's pretty much what we told them but their response was that they'll 'try' and that they still think 7 tables are better.

i will absolutely not give them 7 tables, especially after all this drama they're creating.

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So that is the end of it. If she 'can't' do it don't even say anything and just do it your way. She cant do anything about it the day of!!!!!

Mor, in all honesty the day of is so HECTIC so nobody cares ior even notices about anything that came before. nobody even notices who sits where and what was promised and then delivered or not.

just ignore. learn from my experience, I made my own life way harder than it had to be the last weeks. could have saved myself A LOT of azabim and my personal sanity if I would have just ignored.
I know its hard, but that is the only thing u can do.

p.s I never thought I would say this but I am thankful at how very little my MIL showed interest in the wedding

Calm down, relax, I have the PERFECT SOLUTION...

Here goes....FCUK EVERYBODY! it's your day, and the fact that they are paying for it does not give them the right to be so effing picky. Yes their gift is generous, but at the end of the day its YOUR DAY do not let anyone mess it up for u the way u want things. Be assertive and do not give in to their silly demands!

I learned this the hard way. And it's how i managed to stay within my means and my sanity.

As hard as it is, BREATHE, and try to calm down. I ended up with a migraine nd hives the other day over similiar issues, if you get my drift. Try to let it roll. Remember it is YOUR day. I have to ask, where does FH stand on all of this?? I have my FH's 100% support, which is the ONLY thing that makes it bearable. You can always FM me.

wow just wow....

during the wedding process there is always SOMEONE who is difficult. it could be a sibling, sibling in-laws, step-kids, your own parents, FH's parents, the bridal party members....

I'm sorry this is difficult. You are not alone. I don't know why we always have to run into such difficulty for such a wonderful event... but I guess it just puts how much you love FH to the test. Imagine dealing with his parents if you didn't even love him?? LOL....

I didn't even give FH's parents a say in the tables. I did the chart myself. My mom had problems with it of course. Her sister (my aunt) DEMANDED to be sat with her kids (who are at tables of people their own ages) and then she refused to sit next to my uncle. I had to change her seat three times!! Besides that, I don't care who has a problem. It's my day and you only have to sit in this seat for 4 hours and you are allowed to get up and walk around and dance... who cares who you are sitting next to !!!