UPDATED... Spoke to FMIL!! How many of you are buying PARENT ALBUMS from your photographer?

UPDATE:
Okay... So I told FMIL that I had to put my final order in with my photographer and wanted to know if she wanted me to order her a parent album. She said she really didn't have room or a need for one, and that she would really just like an 8 x 10 to display! So, in the long run, I'm just happy I didn't 'waste' money on something she didn't want anyway, and now I can apply that to additional pics I want in my album since I only get 32 PICTURES... not pages... PICTURES. I told her I was going to make her a Shutterfly album when I get the proofs, and she was very happy with that. Get this... I told MY mom, and she's like, 'don't get me an album either... get more pictures in your album. You can just make me a Shutterfly album, too. Save your money.' We'll see. I'd like my mom to have a professional one, even though it's WAY overpriced for 12 pictures!

Original post:
I am thinking of taking off one parent album from my order through Patken and applying that towards more photos in our main album. (we currently only get 32 pictures)

Slightly bitter that we're not getting any $ towards anything for the wedding (sans rehearsal dinner) from FH's mom. In fact, she admitted to me that her family isn't into this whole BIG wedding thing anyway.

So... should I just make it the main album for us and one album for my parents (who are forking over the $5500 for the photographer... yes, JUST the photographer costs that much... along with $25,000+ more)? I would make a beautiful Shutterfly album once I get the digital proofs 6 months later to give to her for a much cheaper cost out of OUR pocket (maybe as a Mother's Day gift or something).

What should we do?

EDITED to say that that last choice isn't as tacky as I thought... I'm going to now offer her the option of receiving a parent album, which I found out costs $300!!! If she wants it, she can pay for it (then I get a credit of $300 to put towards more pictures in the main album, which I DEFINITELY WANT). If she doesn't, I will make her an album on Shutterfly to give to her as a Mother's Day gift (which I will probably also do for my mom as a bonus album since they're REALLY nice).

our parent albums are part of our package.

Honestly I wouldnt not give one to your FMIL just because you are upset she isn't contributing to the wedding. I know you're upset, but what if it was in reverse and she was paying and your parents weren't would you not get an album for your parents?

How does FH feel about it?

My DH's parents are both deceased. We ended up getting my parents an album and each of his siblings (there are three of them) a portfolio with 5 or 6 professional pictures. It was the same price. They won't be ready until late fall so I think they'll be Christmas gifts.

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Posted by sarahradio5

I 'm just really bitter that she's just getting all the benefits without having to GIVE anything for it! Must be nice! I know I should just get over it... but I can't. Fine... maybe I'm shallow, but my mom is the one that is paying for the AWESOME photographer we're getting... it just REALLY bothers me. I know I'll probably get flack for this... it just TICKS me off. Sorry...

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you're not shallow. you're actually one of the sweetest people I ever met. I can understand you being upset, but maybe FMIL isn't in the position to make contributions, and if she can't or doesn't want to, you shouldn't hold it against her. Your parents are great for helping you so much with the wedding, its a blessing, but what if they couldn't do that for you, would you be bitter towards them? Think of it like that, what if it was in reverse you know?

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs2006

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Posted by sarahradio5

I 'm just really bitter that she's just getting all the benefits without having to GIVE anything for it! Must be nice! I know I should just get over it... but I can't. Fine... maybe I'm shallow, but my mom is the one that is paying for the AWESOME photographer we're getting... it just REALLY bothers me. I know I'll probably get flack for this... it just TICKS me off. Sorry...

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you're not shallow. you're actually one of the sweetest people I ever met. I can understand you being upset, but maybe FMIL isn't in the position to make contributions, and if she can't or doesn't want to, you shouldn't hold it against her. YOur parents are great for helping you so much with the wedding, its a blessing, but what if they couldn't do that for you, would you be bitter towards them? Think of it like that, what if it was in reverse you know?

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No... I know. But I know she CAN. That's the thing. If she came to me and said... 'I want to pay for your bo-k'. Or... 'I want to pay for you and Joe's first night at the Marriott in Plainview' or... 'I want to pay for the limos' or SOMETHING... that would show effort. To me... this all just seems like they all think it is SO silly that we're having this wedding. She actually said to me the other day that Joe would have been just happy getting married in Vegas because that's the family he comes from. Well, why should we spend the $$ on her parent album then? I will appreciate the extra pics more than her, and I can still make her a nicer album on Shutterfly! I've seen girls make VERY nice ones themselves on here. It's just very aggravating. I just want to see effort and appreciation from that side of the family.

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Posted by Mikeysgirl

Hey I'm in the same situation. FH's parents aren't contributing anything either. We asked FMIL if she would like an album and we told her what the price is. We did the same with my mother and she paid for hers. FMIL decided not to get one so I'm giving one to my parents and one to my grandmother. Why don't you tell her how much the album costs and ask her if she would like to purchase one. This way if she doesn't get one she can't complain and if she says no because of the price then you should offer to make her one on shutterfly. Not only will you look like the good guy but you will also save money!

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ooh! That's a good idea!! Thank you!

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Posted by sarahradio5


No... I know. But I know she CAN. That's the thing. If she came to me and said... 'I want to pay for your bo-k'. Or... 'I want to pay for you and Joe's first night at the Marriott in Plainview' or... 'I want to pay for the limos' or SOMETHING... that would show effort. To me... this all just seems like they all think it is SO silly that we're having this wedding. She actually said to me the other day that Joe would have been just happy getting married in Vegas because that's the family he comes from. Well, why should we spend the $$ on her parent album then? I will appreciate the extra pics more than her, and I can still make her a nicer album on Shutterfly! I've seen girls make VERY nice ones themselves on here. It's just very aggravating. I just want to see effort and appreciation from that side of the family.

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Well if thats what you want to do then make her an album, it will come out as nice. How does Joe feel about this though?

She can do whatever she will with her money since this is hers. She does not have to contribute to any $$ towards your wedding. That being said, you don't have to give her anything EITHER since this is your money.

I voted for the shutterfly album. She will still get something not just one photo. My understanding is that they are really nice. I am doing my own with them. So, I don't see that as a problem.

You will get more photos on your own album.

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Posted by sarahradio5

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Posted by Mikeysgirl

Hey I'm in the same situation. FH's parents aren't contributing anything either. We asked FMIL if she would like an album and we told her what the price is. We did the same with my mother and she paid for hers. FMIL decided not to get one so I'm giving one to my parents and one to my grandmother. Why don't you tell her how much the album costs and ask her if she would like to purchase one. This way if she doesn't get one she can't complain and if she says no because of the price then you should offer to make her one on shutterfly. Not only will you look like the good guy but you will also save money!

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ooh! That's a good idea!! Thank you!

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I agree thats not a bad idea.

Wow... the parent albums are $300!!! (I just called and checked).

So, I'll talk to her this week and ask her what she wants.

'I'll say that I'm trying to figure out my photography package. The parent albums cost $300 for a 12 picture album. Did you want to buy one?'

our parent albums did not come included so we are getting a really great amount of pics in our own albums and a ton of other stuff. we are paying for the photos ourselves and i know that my parents and FIL's can more than afford their own parents albums so i simply told them the price of them and to let me know so i can tell the photog to make one for them... i didn't think it was a big deal and they had no problem with it.

it is an extra in our package so they were just happy to be able to get the albums at all. HTH

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Posted by sarahradio5

Wow... the parent albums are $300!!! (I just called and checked).

So, I'll talk to her this week and ask her what she wants.

'I'll say that I'm trying to figure out my photography package. The parent albums cost $300 for a 12 picture album. Did you want to buy one?'

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yep, exactly

thank you! I thought it was unusual, but I feel better posing this question to her - and making her pay for it - now knowing that other brides do the same. Why should she get everything for FREE?!?!?!?!

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Posted by patticakes

I like the Shutterfly idea, that's more than enough for someone who 'isn't into it'. She doesn't have to know it was any other way.

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exactly! thank you!

Maybe buy it for her as a Christmas or birthday present. I just think it would be sad if she didn't get one to commemorate her son's wedding. I understand she isn't contributing financially, which can be frustrating, but has she been there for her son emotionally? Our parent's gifts are not just for the $$$ our parents gave us to help with the wedding, but for 25/28 years of raising us to be who we are today.

Good luck

I am doing Shutterfly albums for both sets of parents. FH amnd I are paying for the photog, and all the vendors- but my parents are paying all the reception costs. His parents are paying for the RD.
We just couldn't justify those big old albums at over $300 a piece. Maybe after the wedding...
But I actually like the 'yearbook' style shutterfly book! It's like a coffee table book, I think it's great.
We will also probably order both sides of parents a large pic, and get it framed, maybe as a Christmas present.
I hope that helps.
B/c I am in the same situation re: contribution, I am just not as upset about it, but I definitely was at first!!!
But I like my FMIL a lot, we actually get along great, so maybe thats the difference.
FFIL barely mustered up the energy to congradulate us for being engaged, when we ran into him a week later

I'm just over it, too much stress over something that my being stressed is not going to change.