**update**I rarely get this personal on here but read and give thoughts... self explanitory

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Posted by stinenandy2010

honestly, it sounds like this girl is not a true friend and doesn't even deserve your time. i wouldn't even send it, i would just forget about her. and if she ever calls one day wondering about you, you can tell her you tried but never heard from her.

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About halfway through, I said out loud 'Why even bother?' I understand that she's a 'friend' and you want her in your life, but is it worth the hassle and effort? Is it worth the hurt?

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Posted by oktropical

WOW...i'll be your friend lol jk In all seriousness I think the letter is really good. Not mean at all. If I was that person I would understand how you were feeling without being offended. I hope everything works out with you and your friend...clearly the letter sounds like that person means alot to you. good luck!!

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I disagree ... it sounds like she meant a lot to you in the past, but it sounds as if she is not acting in a way to deserve meaning much to you now. Don't give her an ultimatum over whether or not to invite her to your wedding. If you really want her there, you would invite her, but it doesn't sound like you do. You shouldn't have to make her prove it to you.

GL ... sorry for the $hitty situation ...

I like your letter a lot. I think its very honest and its shows that although you are upset, you really and truly are willing to put the the things she has done (or lack of things) aside and be friends with her.

Many times, I have been on either end of this, sorry to say. When I am on the other person's side, what happens 100% of the time is that, it begins with me being busy, etc. but then when i have a moment to call (YES, you are completely right about her having a moment to text, write an email, etc.,), i say to myself that i need to have a long conversation and explain why i havent gotten a chance to call, etc. so i make the silly decision to not call again. This is a terrible thing. Then i find myself basically lying and saying i didnt even have a moment to call. I have also been on your side and know how it hurts and the fact that you care enough to even write this letter means that this person is important enough to you that you dont want to write them off for their silly mistake.

i would send it because its obviously very important to you and it is very sincere. i think that if you dont re-unite, you will be satisfied knowing that you wrote this and hopefully could realize that she wasnt someone you needed in your life if she doesnt want to repair your friendship

fm me if you want to talk

I understand she is your friend and you really want her at your wedding, but ask yourself this question...'is she really a true friend'
through all this planning has she been there? sometimes you just have to accept people for who they are and what they can give and learn to live without them.

well i really figured she didnt care and about a week ago i had a facebook status about my hotel blocks asking who needed a room... she comments she will need one.

That was the first thing ive heard from her for months... it shocked me really.....

First:

I'm sorry that your friend is treating you in this way.

It sounds like she really doesn't care; as far as the letter goes, I think you covered all bases. You definitley poured your heart out into it.

I personally wouldn't bother sending it, and I'd look at writing the letter as a sort of therapy and closure on the friendship.

Just remember one thing...the written word can ALWAYS be used back at you. This suppossed friend sounds like they've turned into kind of a jerk; you don't want them showing it to mutual friends or anything, you know? Or posting it on FB, know what I mean?

Edit: Wrong hug smilies. Oops.

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched


Just remember one thing...the written word can ALWAYS be used back at you. This suppossed friend sounds like they've turned into kind of a jerk; you don't want them showing it to mutual friends or anything, you know? Or posting it on FB, know what I mean?

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This is an extremely valid point! E-mails like this have come back to bite me in the azz before, even if it's sent with NO ill intentions.

Honestly -

I think you need to get if off your chest, one way or another. With that said, is sending it going to change anything? Do you really want to continue your relationship? These are the questions you need to ask yourself at this point.

Kris is right - things in writing can always come back to bite you in the butt - a word of caution - should you chose to send it just be sure you're careful and really mean what you're saying.

Its a hard situation and you'll find the right way to handle it - go with your gut!!!!!!!!!!

I'm here if you need me.

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Posted by jilliibabii

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched


Just remember one thing...the written word can ALWAYS be used back at you. This suppossed friend sounds like they've turned into kind of a jerk; you don't want them showing it to mutual friends or anything, you know? Or posting it on FB, know what I mean?

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This is an extremely valid point! E-mails like this have come back to bite me in the azz before, even if it's sent with NO ill intentions.

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i always agree with this but even if this person shows it to a million people, imo, there should be nothing at all that she wrote that she should be worried for others to see, its all from the heart and not a mean word that i can see. i would actually think that if i got this letter and showed it to someone, they would find it hard to tell me to not call my friend who wrote it. jmho

Sounds like this person meant alot to you, but people change and if they cant value you as a friend you may want to let this one go. JMO

I would caution you to not send it in writing because I've had stuff in emails come back and bite me in the **** so be careful with whatever you send. Also, this friend might want to send it to other mutual friends-(this is what happened to me and without other people knowing the full story I came across as a b***h) Maybe you might want to call up this friend. Good luck

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Posted by MrsSoto

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Posted by jilliibabii

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched


Just remember one thing...the written word can ALWAYS be used back at you. This suppossed friend sounds like they've turned into kind of a jerk; you don't want them showing it to mutual friends or anything, you know? Or posting it on FB, know what I mean?

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This is an extremely valid point! E-mails like this have come back to bite me in the azz before, even if it's sent with NO ill intentions.

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i always agree with this but even if this person shows it to a million people, imo, there should be nothing at all that she wrote that she should be worried for others to see, its all from the heart and not a mean word that i can see. i would actually think that if i got this letter and showed it to someone, they would find it hard to tell me to not call my friend who wrote it. jmho

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Yeah, that's exactly why I told her to exercise caution - because it IS from the heart. There's nothing in there that's hurtful towards the recipient, but people can get mean and just air it out there for all to see.

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Posted by bigsal

I would caution you to not send it in writing because I've had stuff in emails come back and bite me in the **** so be careful with whatever you send. Also, this friend might want to send it to other mutual friends-(this is what happened to me and without other people knowing the full story I came across as a b***h) Maybe you might want to call up this friend. Good luck

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EXCELLENT POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by stinenandy2010

honestly, it sounds like this girl is not a true friend and doesn't even deserve your time. i wouldn't even send it, i would just forget about her. and if she ever calls one day wondering about you, you can tell her you tried but never heard from her.

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I 10000% agree with Christine

i think it's a good letter for you to get your feelings out

honestly, if i received something like that (and im trying to be honest) i would be pretty mad, and most honestly it would probably turn me off more than anything...

i think sometimes we need to write things like that as a self-cleansing type thing, but i dont know if i would actually send it