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Posted by stinenandy2010
honestly, it sounds like this girl is not a true friend and doesn't even deserve your time. i wouldn't even send it, i would just forget about her. and if she ever calls one day wondering about you, you can tell her you tried but never heard from her.
i think that says it all! I have friends that I have these issues with and I think its important to say these things to. Sometimes people say 'they rn't worth it' but its harder to let go of the friendship then it is to try to work it out. I comend you for trying, goodluck!! I hope this email makes her wake up and see what a great friend she would be losing!!
its just so frustrating... i know she expects to be invited..... and i know she will be upset if she isnt.....
Posted by APastries2010
Be honest.... do i need to change anything?
So every time I would write you, it seems I pissed you off, but at this point I don’t know what else to do. If you choose to not read this, that’s your call. I hope you do, and I hope we move on from here.
About a year ago, I called and texted you numerous times to no avail. We finally spoke around February and had a long talk. You explained that you were going through a rough time and when that happens, you shut the world out. I explained to you that a simple response would have been sufficient because I equate being ignored to not being friends.
Fast forward to May-ish. I still am the one making the efforts and I finally get a message back from you about how you actually want to talk to me and will call me. We both know that didn’t happen. You were also in charge of planning our hang out at Six Flags, which, also never happened. June comes along and we have a minor tiff via texts one night about how you’re so busy and I expect too much and it's not personal.
July comes, and so does my wedding shower. You didn’t come. Now through Mags, I hear that you couldn’t get out of work and that you wanted to be there but here is where I am confused. Had it been me, who could not go, I would have called -- called to see how it went, called to say sorry I couldn’t come, miss you anyway, called just to say hi. But here it is, October and I have not heard from you for MONTHS.
I get you're busy, I work 80+ hours a week but that is not an acceptable answer. It IS personal. I promise if you look at your cell phone, in the past three months, you have made many calls to friends. It is fine they are closer to you and mean more, really it is, but I think you're fooling yourself to say you're too busy to drop a line.
I've always viewed you as a friend and I know you have come out here to visit in years past. I'm not saying you’re a bad person, or that we have to talk every week or anything like that, but I just don’t get you. I love you and want you in my life, which is why I get so hurt. I don’t know what happened to make our friendship a choir to you. What did I do to become so irrelevant?
By this point, if your still reading I can imagine you're angry, and that’s always how you reacted, but please, step back and think about where I'm coming from. Did you know I had an offer on a house? Did you know I had a cancer scare? Did you know my mom was sick? You know nothing about me, and that’s okay with you. That’s okay with you, but yet, you still want to come to my wedding? You really want me to invite someone who can't even pick up the phone to call and say hello?
This is where I am at. Balls to the wall, no holds bar. I ordered invites. I ordered enough so I can invite you because I miss our friendship. But I will not invite you because of what we HAD, I will invite you for what we HAVE. If you think I have just reason to feel this way, and feel that my friendship is important, then please, show me. Call me, email me, text me, **** I'll learn smoke signals if that’s what you want, but be my friend again. If I see that this friendship means something to you, then by all means, I want you at the happiest day of my life. But I cannot pretend that things are okay status quo.
If on the other hand you want to tell me where to stick it, you have every right and I ask that you do so. If I did or said anything I would like to know. I will apologize for anything I may have done to hurt you, but I will not apologize for this letter.
Summary, I would like my friend back, and I would like her at my wedding. The ball is now in your court.
IMO I think the letter is detailed and important. But I think maybe there is no point in putting this much effort to extend to your friend if she has not been making any effort and she just expects to be invited. You should not have to tell her that its her turn to decide. If it were me I would have just dropped her out of my invites and my life. im sorry your going through this. Its not fair to you. But trust me if she wants and deserves your friendship, she will make the effort to fix your relationship.
If you truly deep down feel the way you said in the letter, you need to send it. I'm with Lorin on this onw.
Posted by APastries2010
Update..... i am mailing it today.
I heard the words about being careful, but I dont view the letter as begging for freindship, or rude, so really she can show whoever she wanted to....
Thanks for listeing!
Hang in there - let us know how it goes!!!!!!!!!!!
