**Update!**Invitation stress...again. Help me out ladies

**UPDATE** FH talked to FMIL and she is fine with saying
Ms. Jane and Mr. John Doe. She is happy with the formality of it and got over wanting to be on different lines. FH just called me and sounds like a new man!!! I am so relieved! I'm glad i can be happy and that everyone is happy. I really love my FMIL and was shocked that all of this elapsed. Thank you girls so much!!




Some of you may remember the postings i did last week and the week before about the invitation stress i was going thru with my FMIL. First she didnt want FFIL's name on the invitation then she said it doesnt matter as long as her name goes first (keep in mind they are on good terms...walking into the reception together, dancing first dance together). We went to order our invites yesterday and this is what we were doing

Mr. and Mrs. John Doe Sr
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Linda
to
Joe
Son of
Jane and John Doe (they have the same last name). The woman at the invite place said it does not look like they are married cause my parents are on there as Mr and Mrs. Well fmil (who i get along with really well), is not thrilled. She thinks they should be on separate lines that read Jane Doe
and Mr. John Doe.
FH is annoyed because #1 there is not enough room on the invite and #2 he doesnt want our invite screaming 'check it out my parents are divorced'--his words not mine. He wants them on the same line cause his argument is, 'what difference does it make if hes on a separate line. Is it really going to make a difference? Help here please!!!

They should be on separate lines.

ETA: but if space on the invite is really an issue then it should read Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe. NOT Jane and John Doe. Whether you use Mr. and Mrs. or not, it looks like they are together and I think that's disrespectful to FMIL.

The lady at the invitation place said that people who are divorced and remarried go on separate lines. We may do Ms. Jane and Mr. John doe. The lady said that it is redundant to put their last name twice being that they still have the same last name. Any input girls? These invitations are getting ordered today and FH is just disgusted. He turned to me and said 'im ready to take them both off of the invite.' If they had different last names i would put them on different lines but i think its going to sound weird saying

son of Ms. Jane Doe
and Mr. John Doe...


Help!!

i think you guys are right with the way youre doing it.... your wedding invitation is not the place to advertise their divorce IMO... they are BOTH still his parents... its not your fault his mom kept his dad's last name... im sorry she is doing this to you guys, it sounds like she needs to back off a little.

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Posted by missliss

They should be on separate lines.

ETA: but if space on the invite is really an issue then it should read Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe. NOT Jane and John Doe. Whether you use Mr. and Mrs. or not, it looks like they are together and I think that's disrespectful to FMIL.

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yeah i would do it this way.. but not on separate lines.. you dont have room on your invite to separate them like that.. IMO it will take away from your invite if you start making it all spaced out to make sure their names dont look like theyre together

humm.. if you have room on the invite I would put them on seperate lines as well.
Invites are so hard.

We are writing:
Together with their families
Amanda
and
Tony
request the honour of your presence....

(this is since me and FH are paying for our wedding ourself but still want to honor our families.)
They are not ordered yet, but I am almost 100% sure that is what we are going to do.

Hope this helps!
Lots of Luck!

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Posted by JoesFutureWife

Thanks so much for your help. Keep in mind they are on such good terms that FFIL is living in FMIL's house right now. I dont know where this is all coming from. FH is disgusted and i hate seeing him feeling like crap over something so silly. He just told me, 'having him one line below her, is that really going to make that much of a difference? Is that goint to improve what has happened in the past???' I just want to hug him.

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oh hunnie it sounds like she is mad at him for something and wants to like 'get back at him' by putting him on the line below her.... that is really sad.. that she needs to use your invitations to make herself feel better.. i would tell her she can either go where you want her to or she can have her name taken off altogether. im so sorry you and FH are dealing with this... i feel really bad for your FH, he sounds like this is really hurting him. maybe he should talk to his mom and explain that even though she is mad at his father, he is still his father and this is HIS wedding... remind her its not a popularity contest or a way to make his dad feel like crap.

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Posted by Eternalyyourz

humm.. if you have room on the invite I would put them on seperate lines as well.
Invites are so hard.

We are writing:
Together with their families
Amanda
and
Tony
request the honour of your presence....

(this is since me and FH are paying for our wedding ourself but still want to honor our families.)
They are not ordered yet, but I am almost 100% sure that is what we are going to do.

Hope this helps!
Lots of Luck!

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Thank you! Only thing is my parents are paying for the majority of the wedding (FH and i are paying for vendors) but they have most of the cost on them. His mom may contribute the flowers but shes not sure if she is yet. We want both sets of parents on there out of respect. I had no idea this would be the hardest part of wedding planning. Go figure!!

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Posted by o8bride

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Posted by JoesFutureWife

Thanks so much for your help. Keep in mind they are on such good terms that FFIL is living in FMIL's house right now. I dont know where this is all coming from. FH is disgusted and i hate seeing him feeling like crap over something so silly. He just told me, 'having him one line below her, is that really going to make that much of a difference? Is that goint to improve what has happened in the past???' I just want to hug him.

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oh hunnie it sounds like she is mad at him for something and wants to like 'get back at him' by putting him on the line below her.... that is really sad.. that she needs to use your invitations to make herself feel better.. i would tell her she can either go where you want her to or she can have her name taken off altogether. im so sorry you and FH are dealing with this... i feel really bad for your FH, he sounds like this is really hurting him. maybe he should talk to his mom and explain that even though she is mad at his father, he is still his father and this is HIS wedding... remind her its not a popularity contest or a way to make his dad feel like crap.

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That's just it. His father knows he is lucky to even be invited (he came to our engagement party which was at a country club and didnt even give us a card to say congratulations). But it is still his father and we are trying to be pleasing to way too many people at this point. Thats why i am letting FH talk to her about all of this. Im not getting caught in the middle and i refuse to put fh in the middle. I just told him whatever you guys come up with let me know by 1:30 cause i have to call the lady at the invite place. Thank you again so much, i feel like i am losing my mind.

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Posted by MsPotterhead

I would remind her that the thing she should be focusing on is the fact that you guys are getting married, and that there are so many things going on in this world, nobody should be stressed about whether their names are on the same line or on different lines. This is so not a big deal, and I am so sorry she is making it one for you. I would just go, do it, order the invites, put them on the same line, and not discuss it anymore. When they come if she objects say 'Oh, I'm sorry, it was a mistake'.... that's that, over. Sooooo not worth getting this upset about, for any of you!

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ITA! i wish you guys werent getting so upset about it... and even more so i am sad that they are making you this upset! i would just do it how i wanted and if someone didnt like it OH WELL.. theyre just invitations!

i am so glad everything worked out!!!!!! and so glad to hear your FH is feeling better!!

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Posted by o8bride

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Posted by missliss

They should be on separate lines.

ETA: but if space on the invite is really an issue then it should read Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe. NOT Jane and John Doe. Whether you use Mr. and Mrs. or not, it looks like they are together and I think that's disrespectful to FMIL.

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yeah i would do it this way.. but not on separate lines.. you dont have room on your invite to separate them like that.. IMO it will take away from your invite if you start making it all spaced out to make sure their names dont look like theyre together

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I agree with this.