Upset!

I agree completely. My exboyfriend used to do the same thing and it used to drive me crazy. We were somewhat happy but i never fully trusted him because he would be online talking to these girls and would get pictures from them. We were together for 4 years and it never stopped. We had actually met online so i guess i figured he would have done the same. It turned out that while I was away for 3 days he cheated on me. Whether or not he met her from online, I dont know. But I would definitley but a stop to it now, no good comes out of it.

---

Posted by Dana Z to Be
It's just so hard when you mind is at war with your heart.

---

I know what you mean... but remember that although you may want to follow your heart, accept it and move on... your mind is the only thing that can be logical... not your heart.

It just isn't right for him to be flirting... even if it's 'just' the internet! He could eventually become tempted!

The next time he says that it's just the internet or that you're being silly, get serious with him and be sure to remind him that the girls on the internet are real just like you and him. It's not a game!

There's no point in 'seeing how far he can go with these girls' if he doesn't plan on pursuing it! He's with you... should only be concerned about you... and should be more considerate of your feelings!

Best wishes,


Jeanine

i already responded but i wanted to add something

you mentioned that his sister told you sites that he visits - that is a huge red flag. . . i know that i would NEVER rat out my brother to my SIL *BUT* if my brother was doing something that i didnt like I would definitetely 'drop some hints'

if his sister feels like this is such a big deal that she talked to you about it i would take it as a HUGE red flag. . .

i agree with everything the girls have said.. and obvi we're all here to support you.. i think if your honest and say you really dont like it.. he should back off.. its that simple... cause yeah its immature now but its more important to see how he handles situations now.. before marriage.. cause if hes says he'll stop and he keeps doing it behind your back then there is your huge red flag..
dont worry though im sure he will realize what a great thing he has and how he never wants to mess it up

You really need to have a sit down with him and really let him know how you are feeling. Cry if you have to. But he needs to know that this is something that bothers you AND it's unacceptable. What he is doing is a form of cheating. He is extending his emotions to another person... even if he is saying it's for fun. He can have fun with you instead.

Sorry to be so blunt... but that makes me so mad. I really feel for you. But most importantly you 2 need to talk about this. It's obviously bothering you a great deal!

Good luck

Let us know what happens.

what were the types of sites his sister told you that he was going on?

Do you know if he is talking about anything sexual with these strangers on the internet?

Wow, this is really unexceptable behavior. When the two of you Wed, will he stop then? He thinks he is playing games with these poor girlz(i'm a single lawyer looking for love......) What if someone turns the game around on him...You cant tell me that there arent girls that he talks to on the regular. And whatever you do, dont let him turn things around on you! He is probably really good with words, but dont let your guard down. Good Luck with this one. This def needs to be addresses before you take the relationship any further. Marriage is about love, trust, commitment & RESPECT!

Thanks for all your replies ladies. I will keep you all posted on what happens.
I have spoke to him many times about this and it seems as though when I do talk to him about it, it stops but then a few months down the road it starts up again.
I am going to do my best to get through this rough point in our relationship. I will let you all know how it goes.
Thanks again

Just sending you I'm sure everything will work out!

So sorry hun. At least you know about it.....!!

not really sure what kind of sites. I had found some emails and in the past I found a few dating sites that he was a memeber of since he was 16.
I think this is an obsession that has been around long before me.

---

Posted by Dana Z to Be

not really sure what kind of sites. I had found some emails and in the past I found a few dating sites that he was a memeber of since he was 16.
I think this is an obsession that has been around long before me.

---

if it was dating websites, i would be MORE than mad.....

i dont think its right that he talks to all girls online, even if its just to see how far he can go, as in a joke w/them....

i would start talkin to guys online n see how he likes it.

I was going to do that, but I know he would never find out cuase he would never snoop like I did and he is never around to see what I do cause of work and Law school at night.
If I was the bad type of girl I could totally cheat on him and he would never ever find out..lol...

I am not like that. I got really mad about the whole thing for a while but with everyones help I am feeling better and from what he tells me he stopped. I just hope he really did and his phone wont be ringing at 1 in the morning or else he is going to have a problem...

My worst fear is him cheating on me, but I know him and know he would never.
I hope it all works out .

---

Posted by Dana Z to Be



I don't want to break up with him because things are good with us and maybe I am just crazy but I don't like this obsession of his and that is what I really think it is an obsession.

He tells me that it is only for fun and that he would never cheat on me cause it is against his morals.

---

ok - by you posting this - things are not good.

you have every right to be hurt and insecure. your fiancee is talking to other women, visiting dating websites, and doing this for fun??? im sorry to be the one to say this - but he is making a fool out of you.

you know what my FI does for fun?? he takes me to a movie, or we go out with friends. your fiancees behavior is not only unacceptable its not normal. for him not to be embarrased by what he is doing - i dont get it.

i really hope that he has stopped like he says. wish you the best!

If him cheating on you is even a thought in your mind.. Thats a red flag, darling. Your FH's behavior is not normal. He needs to stop NOW.

I wish you the best

If he continues this behavior, you need to leave.


JMHO

This is true, but from now on I will not know. Like I mentioned I have exhausted all my attempts to snoop. For now , I have to trust and see what happens.

Thanks for your opinion and looking out.