Upset cousin

I have a problem. I have a 15 yr old male cousin who is upset because he isn't in the wedding.

I was at my aunts house when she pulled me a side and said he mentioned something to her about not being asked to be in it. (His 12 year old sister is a jr bridesmaid, and his 5 yr old brother is the ring bearer.)

Why didn't I ask him? Because I'm not very close to him and I figured it wasn't cool enough for him.

My aunt suggested that maybe I can have him be an usher and walk my grandmother down the aisle??

ANY SUGGESTIONS?????

Now if I have every child from my one aunt partcipate, am I then obligated to have my other aunt's 4 children partcipate?

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Posted by ShelliNMando

I would definitely have him participate in the ceremony somehow. Usher is a great idea.

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Ditto

I have a bunch of young cousins too and couldnt figure out a way to pick between them, so I am having 6 flower girls and a ringbearer! I couldnt think of any other way to do it!

Are you close with your cousins from your other aunt? Is there a possible way to have them be ushers too? or maybe ask them to do a special job the day of the wedding like hand out programs or sometihng?

I think the Usher is a great idea. Its hard when your using most of one family but not all.
My fiance has 2 nephews and a niece. I am using one as ring bearer and one as FG. I dont want his oldest nephew to be upset (children arent invited) so now I may do a junior groomsman and bridesmaid.

Its so hard to plan a wedding! You try to make everyone happy (and stay within a budget) and somehow someones feelings always seem to get hurt...

Good Luck hun :)

The other four cousins are 21, 20, 16, and 12.

Maybe I'll talk to my other aunt to find out if she thinks they would be upset.

Now since this is all new to me, do the grandparents get walked down the aisle? I can't remember the last time I went to a wedding (I had to have been 12) so I'm not sure if they get walked down or not.

Ugh, I'm sorry that you're having family issues!

It's totally up to you whether you want to incorporate him or not. If you feel that you can use an usher, or an escort for your grandmother, then by all means include him. However, if you feel that your BP is complete and that having him on will only make you feel uncomfortable about other family members not in your BP then explain to your aunt that you would love to find a way to include him in the wedding, but yo have enough people. Or ask him to hand out programs, bubbles, etc. This is a touchy subject because our families tend to be great at 'guilting' us into corners. Just rememeber that it is your wedding, do not let them tell you who should be a part of what and in which role - stand firm and go with your heart (and your gut!). Good luck!

Thanks for all the great info/advice!!!

i have tons of cousins. 14 to be exact. Two of the older ones are in my bridal party. My god son is the ring bearer and my little cousin is the flower girl. I then asked my there young boy cousins (not that young, elementary age) to hand out the rose petals at the end of the wedding. I asked my four younger girl cousins to hand out the programs and the cry packs at the beginning (they are between 8 and 12) and i am going to ask my three other girl cousins (15-17) to bring up the gifts.

I wanted to make sure that everyone was involved. I will also give each of then something small at the rehearsal dinner so they don't feel left out!

Hope this helps!