Upset re Wedding Liturgy Planning/CTK Commack or other Catholic Brides please help!

This is particularly for anyone getting married at Christ the King in Commack, but I'd be happy to get feedback from ANY brides having Catholic ceremonies.

We're not doing a mass and had hoped to be able to incorporate some songs (like during the unity candle) that weren't overly religious sounding, and we had hoped to ask one of my college singing buddies, who has a gorgeous voice, to perform them. When we first made the arrangements to have our ceremony at CTK, it didn't appear it would be a problem. But my mom attended a Wedding Liturgy Planning session a few weeks ago for us (we live in DC and it was on a Wednesday night so we obviously couldn't make it) and found out some things that seem to the contrary.

I am very concerned now. I'd really like to have my friend sing and I'd prefer to select our own music, rather than being confined to the three very religious selections they gave my mom. Also, we wanted to bring in a flute player and apparently there is trouble with that too. I am so upset and wishing now we decided to do this somewhere than a Catholic church. :-(

Any thoughts/insight is GREATLY appreciated!

Thanks,
Alison

I think you should call the Church and speak with them. Ask the specifically what you can and cannot do during your ceremony. Many Churches do not allow non-religious music to be performed during a wedding ceremony. You are getting married in a religious setting and therefore need to respect that.
However most churches will allow you to have a musician or soloist perform during the ceremony/mass.
I suggest you call the Church and ask them. Tell them what song(s) you were considering.

Oh No...I'm getting married at CTK also. I was hoping to bring in outside musicians and from what it sounds like, that won't be a possibility. We haven't gone to any planning sessions yet as we aren't getting married until Jan 2004. Keep me posted on how things go.
Did your mom talk to the director of music at the church yet?

I'm getting married at St Anthonys in E. Northport and they told us we can have outside singers, they just have to be 'approved' by the music dept at the church. Our singer has an amazing voice and it was no problem. They might not advertise the fact that you can do this b/c they don't want a family member that is awful and you just can't say no to singing in their church. Call and offer to have your friend 'audition' to sing. If he really is great - there should be no problem.

In my church (St John's in Bohemia) all songs that are used in a wedding ceremony must be approved by the church. We have not yet selected our ceremony songs, but we have to discuss all of our selections with our officiant for approval.
It is not a problem for us to bring in outside musicians, however the church must also approve them.
I think churches differ on this issue just like some churches allow you to throw flower petals and others do not.
I would suggest calling the church and see what the specific rules and requirements are. Good luck