vent....

HM807 Posted: Jul 30, 2007 07:44 PM

vent....

My FH and I are paying for 80% of our wedding. My parents were able to give us a certain amount of money towards everything. His parents told us they would contribute to something...but only towards the end of the planning...when we know what we cant afford. Its a little hard to budget this way...but i said okay... we will be happy for any help we can get.
So anyway..my hall has a min of 185. My families guest list is 100 people... my FH's is over 160. I asked his mother to decrease the list today..because she was telling me she had add on's!! I then told her we could only afford a certain amount of ppl...and didnt want more than 225 invites going out. Do you think I am being un-reasonable???

HeatherRose Posted: Jul 30, 2007 07:46 PM

Re: vent....

not at all, as far as your concerned, they aren't paying for anything yet.. its your wedding, its your say! Dont let it start now, or it will never end.

jeanne08 Posted: Jul 30, 2007 07:48 PM

Re: vent....

it's your wedding you need to set limits! Maybe if they really insist on having those add on's you should ask them to cover the cost for those guests. If you think about it they will be their guests not yours.

Tori9299 Posted: Jul 30, 2007 07:50 PM

Re: vent....

No not at all you had to put your foot down.

dazies1011 Posted: Jul 30, 2007 07:52 PM

Re: vent....

Posted by b2b777

My FH and I are paying for 80% of our wedding. My parents were able to give us a certain amount of money towards everything. His parents told us they would contribute to something...but only towards the end of the planning...when we know what we cant afford. Its a little hard to budget this way...but i said okay... we will be happy for any help we can get.
So anyway..my hall has a min of 185. My families guest list is 100 people... my FH's is over 160. I asked his mother to decrease the list today..because she was telling me she had add on's!! I then told her we could only afford a certain amount of ppl...and didnt want more than 225 invites going out. Do you think I am being un-reasonable???

No but, if she wants more then you do have her pay for them. I know alot of people you have done this with their parents and FFILs

little34 Posted: Jul 30, 2007 07:52 PM

Re: vent....

Not at all...we are dealing with this too....luckily we picked a RH that only holds 119, but we told his mom that we could only do 100 because we want to keep the numbers down and only have immediate family and OUR good friends...not hers. Any way.... they were going to help us pay for the E-party but now that it is getting down to the wire and the payments need to be made, she decides she needs a new kitchen floor!! Her floor is fine and we know that this will be the reason to not help pay for the e-party. Luckily FH and I are on the same page...he is just as mad as I am. Try not to let this come between you and FH....but put your foot down...if they want to pay for all those guest, then fine, but if you are footing the bill then you have every right to say no!!

Ann 52409 Posted: Jul 30, 2007 08:14 PM

Re: vent....

Not at all... you are paying for most of it and you can only afford what you can afford

tbone66 Posted: Jul 30, 2007 08:30 PM

Re: vent....

not at all. stick to your guns. our invites went out and we are still dealing with extra guests.

you can always say that you are 'over capacity' of the hall which is actually our real excuse.

Mici n KC Posted: Jul 30, 2007 08:33 PM

Re: vent....

Tell her that she needs to make a B list for you because when people on her A list start declining then you can send out the others. It's your wedding and you're paying, you set the limit.

SusiBtoM Posted: Jul 31, 2007 09:49 AM

Re: vent....

Not unreasonable at all.
If your FIL's want to invite that many people, they they have to commit to paying a portion, perhaps 20% to match your parents contribution, thereby reducing your obligation to 60%.
Sounds fair.

Just don't let your FIL's know the max your RH can hold.

B22 Posted: Jul 31, 2007 09:59 AM

Re: vent....

nope. If they were paying for the reception, then yes... they can add whomever they want.
My parents are paying for our reception only so my FH's family can't invite every tom, **** & harry.

My parents, however can... you know?

You are not being unreasonable AT ALL... especially if you are paying for most of it.