vent

Ok so, I really have not vented out to anyone about this except my fh.
Here goes..

This sept I started teaching at a new school. It is COMPLETELY different than my old school. Different in terms of students are well behaved, high expectations/standards...I was told it was on the top ten schools of the city. I dunno. I am teaching 4th grade. I love the school in general, it is organized, etc.. However.... I miss my old staff soo much. I mean in the beginning the other 4th teachers were really nice when before school started while I was decorating and now that school has begun, they are like so distant and weird to me. I keep thinking did I do something? I know I couldnt have.. I am so not used to how things are run here that I really feel like a first year teacher (although this would be my third year). I have cried a few times already. I am almost at the point of being uncomfortable and afraid to ask for help from them because I feel like there gonna
and think I am dumb.

To make matters worse today I had to leave at 3:30pm on the dot, the time we dismiss the kids, and I kindly asked one of the fellow 4th grade teachers if she can just take one of my students to the afterschool program in the gym, because she was taking hers.. and she said ok... (I asked he rthis a few days ago)...then I saw her as I was leaving , and said thank you so much... no response. So I thought I would say it again, 'Thank you very much for bringing her' and she said 'I heard you'
I was like inside my head... like ***?!?!? I told my fiance and he was like well maybe you need to speak to your AP...
Being a new teacher, I dont want to complain and I feel like they already formed their 4th grade 'circle/group' and expect me to follow up with them all the time, yet I dont feel ocmfortable because there always talking amongst themselves and like stare and I am alwasy like 'HIII!!! HOW ARE YOU?!?! (in sucha genuine bubbly smiley face) and there just like 'hi' all dull...



Ughhh im sorry ladies, this was an extremely long vent. My fiance suggested that the best thing I can do is act fake and I cant do that, thats not me!!! :( what should I do?!?

bring them donuts. im serious lol. it ssssssuuuuuuuuuucks how catty women are. but women are like effin needy lil babies. occasionally compliment each one when none of the other 4ht grade teachers are around
'omg i love ur shoes' 'wow who does ur hair its nice' stupid shyt like that. they will slowly change their atitudes. play them like the lil hamsters that they are.

Lol thank you. But wont they think that I am kissing ***? I dont want them to think that.. I want them to genuinely be nice!!! UGH my old staff was so different. We would pass post it notes and send one of the kids and messengers, go outside during lunch for walks, etc.. no one does that here. They work during lunch!!!! it is soo overwhelming, I wanna cry on allthe things we have to do.. everytime I log into my email I get like 4 new emails on the things we gotta do and I feel like I am never gonna catch up to them.. I feel so dumb, and like some of them will come into my room from time to time or i will show them something and there like 'no you cant do that like that' meanwhiiiiiile my mentor (all teachers who are not tenure get one lol) will say at times 'no you dont have to do all that, trust me, etc' so I am like stuck in the middle thanks for listening,,, I think your name is Barbara? lool Sorry.. I hardly post on here and am not familiar with names

I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. I feel like women are just like this - everytime there's a new woman at a workplace, women just get so catty and aren't that welcoming. Of course that doesn't speak to everyone but it happens a lot. My best friend is a teacher also and she has her teacher friends but of course when she started at the school, she felt the same way. Also, she was noticed in school for having a great classroom and was always shown as the model class and it just made it worse. They were just jealous and I'm sure that has a part in it with you.

I agree with you and not wanting to suck up. But I do agree with Barb in that you can just do small talk and say hi here and there. Find out when their Birthday's are and just say Happy Birthday. I wouldn't go over the top because you shouldn't have to be fake, but they will eventually come around. If they don't, it's their loss.

Good Luck!!! Sorry it's sooo long.

I've very thankful...the two schools I was at the past two years, the staff was unbelieveably nice.
I'm gonna have to agree with barb...in way you kinda have to scuk up a bit. And other than that for the most part, just lay low. Stay nice and cheerful, and your usual self.

A side question- what are the teachers like outside their clique? Especially in the classroom? Are they older/rundown/worn out from teaching? That may also play a role in it. Also, notice how they act around the other non 4th grade teachers-maybe its not just you they treat that way!

im so sorry-i kinda know what you're dealing with bc the school im at now seems like this, but im only a leave so i dont really take it personally..and the school i was at last year i miss bc even though my department wasnt really friendly i constantly hung out with a dif. department and had so much fun ..

i would really say just give it some time

thank you ladies, I really appreciate your honest feedbacks.... it makes me feel better.... but should I say anything to my mentor or my ap?? I just dont wanna make matters worse and have them speak to the other 4th graders.... Like I dont want them thinking 'who is this new 4th grade teacher comin in here and complaining about us?'
Like i am so not used to acting and getting treated this way... the next time any of them say anything like something along the lines of 'i heard you' or something very harsh, should i speak up? like 'what is your problem' or just ignore it? complain?
Ughh... i hate this... it wasnt even close to how it is now, in my old school... from the very first day I felt so close to them and they were so welcoming. Unlike my new school where like if i dont keep up to speed with them and the the things expected, they start looking down on me... and to top that off.... 2 of them are not even close to my age.!!!!! they have to be in their late 30's.. one is a mother with a 15 yr old daughter... and she is such a bich sometimes like the way she speaks, so what gives??
thank you ladies again for listening,

oh and get this... one of the 4th grade girls,,, I went to freakin jhs and hs with!!!!!!!! I never spoke to her but thats not the point... she knew we went to the same school!!! I was even friends with one of her friends.
Ughhhhhhhhhh I sometimes feel like I made the wrong decision in taking this new job... like I SHOULD have stayed in my old school and put up with the other things in my old school but still have a great staff who was like family!

aw sorry theyre being such bishes i would just continue to try and talk to them and go about it normally theyll eventually break down

Ok because I am such not a bi*h... I have a mentor who I have to work with, if I have any questions, etc.. she is really nice and has been in the school for 10 years... I was in a meeting with her today and I couldnt control myself because I am overly sensitive and a baby and started tearing and crying.. not histerical but I just vented everything and told her please keep it confidential but if you are wondering why I may not be going to the grade leader and the other 4th grade teachers for help, this is why.,.... and I told her.. I also said that I do not want to complain and cause drama/trouble and in order for me to want to get help, I have to feel like help is being genuinely offered...
SHe understood and told me that, you have to understand that some of them are the way they are, and dont take offense to that, and some of them this is their life... there not married, not going to school, etc... and they devote every ounce to their teaching...
I felt a little better... not a 100 percent.. thank you girlies for listening.. I feel loved

I hope it gets better for you!!! Certain grades in my building are VERY clique-y. I happen to be in a grade level where everyone is really friendly and we all collaborate on everything. However, in my first teaching job (leave replacement in diff building), this was not the case & I was left out . Hopefully, they will stop the bitchassness and welcome you the way you deserve to be welcomed. Hugs for you!!!

thank you!! I mean they are very organized and the best teachers in the school in terms of managements, organization, etc... MINUS SOCIAL SKILLS!! llol with me at least.
I mean what the eff, not to sound concieted but I am not like nerdy or much much older where they would have nothing in common with me??
two are older than me..and two are around my age... ***!!

I am sorry you are going through this. Women can be so caddy. Teachers are so clique. When I was student teaching my co-op teacher said never eat in the staff lounge its an evil place.

the freakin teachers on my grade dont eat lunch!!! they work!!!!! looool
I eat for literally like 5 mins.. and do work.. run around.. you gotta see me.. I dont even have time to pee during the day at work!! I am either going to gain alot of weight really soon, or the other way around bc I feel my body about to shut down... and I am supposed to be grading math assessment, it is 11am, and I am pre occupied with LIW lol it is SOOOOOOO ADDICTING , like extremely!!! I gotta get offffffff.. help mee hahaha

i agree with the 'suck up to them' idea


sorry you're having a rough time!!

I know that women can be catty. IT *****. Im sorry your going through this.