Vent

So i'm pretty sure no one in my family is going to end up at our wedding at this rate. My sister's husband is at a detention center because he is an immigrant and he just got picked up yesterday. So now she tells me (keep in mind she is suppose to be my maid of honor) if he gets deported to egypt shes going with him. Not to sound judgemental, but seriously she even knows she wouldn't be happy. She called me everyday before he got deported saying she wanted to leave him. Than my brother who hates my whole family anyways and never invites me anywhere saw my new tattoo and freaked. If i'm comfortable with my body and what I do with it than seriously mind your business. I can't wait till i marry my FH and start our own family.


*** edited because people don't know the whole situation and i obviously cant just say she wouldnt be happy because that doesn't seem important : ) Guess you don't have to be happy in order to leave everything you know to go to egypt.

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Posted by DoreenAndScott

So now she tells me (keep in mind she is suppose to be my maid of honor) if he gets deported to egypt shes going with him. Not to sound judgemental, but seriously she even knows she wouldn't be happy.

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Sorry just happened to come across this 'vent'. Are you SERIOUSLY upset that your sister might have to go to Egypt bc her husband might be deported BC she is 'supposed to be your MOH'. That sounds INCREDIBLY selfish!! I think instead you should be supporting your sister who is most likely going through a VERY rough and SCARY time... and not be thinking about her MOH duties for a wedding that isn't set to take place until the end of 2011!!!
The possibility of her husband being deported and her life having to be uprooted and going through this drastic change is more important than your wedding and her title of MOH for your wedding.

I'm sorry to hear IT sounds like your family's going through a lot right now.

I do agree with Kerri to a degree... but i'm sure what you're feeling is running deeper than you being worried about whether your sister can be your maid of honor or not.

If they're married, why doesn't he have papers?

And if your brother is like that anyway, why would you want him there? I understand you wanting your own family at the wedding and not just FH's, but you don't want people around who make things unecessarily more difficult for you.

Try not to worry about this stuff in terms of the wedding yet right now. If your sister does go to Egypt, there's no reason she couldnt come back to be here for the wedding in 2011. You have a lot of time to work these things out and see how things go and if you worry about them from now til then you will drivey ourself crazy, and nobody wants that.

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Posted by KerriJohnS

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Posted by DoreenAndScott

So now she tells me (keep in mind she is suppose to be my maid of honor) if he gets deported to egypt shes going with him. Not to sound judgemental, but seriously she even knows she wouldn't be happy.

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Sorry just happened to come across this 'vent'. Are you SERIOUSLY upset that your sister might have to go to Egypt bc her husband might be deported BC she is 'supposed to be your MOH'. That sounds INCREDIBLY selfish!! I think instead you should be supporting your sister who is most likely going through a VERY rough and SCARY time... and not be thinking about her MOH duties for a wedding that isn't set to take place until the end of 2011!!!
The possibility of her husband being deported and her life having to be uprooted and going through this drastic change is more important than your wedding and her title of MOH for your wedding.

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ITA... I can't imagine how the sister must be feeling right now, with the holidays and everything and her whole world being turned upside down. I get upset if I can't see FH for a day, I would absolutely go with him even to a place I didn't like if that was my only option for being with him. I'm sure you didn't mean it as selfish as it came out but maybe if you seem a little more concerned with the stuff going on for them right now, the time will come when the wedding and your disappointment can be properly placed.

wait i'm confused ... if your sister is married to an immigrant, doesn't he get citizenship through her?

my dad did that when he got re-married (well, we weren't illegal ... just non-citizens at that time)

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Posted by DWKSwed

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Posted by KerriJohnS

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Posted by DoreenAndScott

So now she tells me (keep in mind she is suppose to be my maid of honor) if he gets deported to egypt shes going with him. Not to sound judgemental, but seriously she even knows she wouldn't be happy.

---

Sorry just happened to come across this 'vent'. Are you SERIOUSLY upset that your sister might have to go to Egypt bc her husband might be deported BC she is 'supposed to be your MOH'. That sounds INCREDIBLY selfish!! I think instead you should be supporting your sister who is most likely going through a VERY rough and SCARY time... and not be thinking about her MOH duties for a wedding that isn't set to take place until the end of 2011!!!
The possibility of her husband being deported and her life having to be uprooted and going through this drastic change is more important than your wedding and her title of MOH for your wedding.

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ITA... I can't imagine how the sister must be feeling right now, with the holidays and everything and her whole world being turned upside down. I get upset if I can't see FH for a day, I would absolutely go with him even to a place I didn't like if that was my only option for being with him. I'm sure you didn't mean it as selfish as it came out but maybe if you seem a little more concerned with the stuff going on for them right now, the time will come when the wedding and your disappointment can be properly placed.

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I couldn't agree more. I would *DEFINITELY* go with my husband to where ever he is going if he was deported.

Why exactly doesn't he have papers? If he's married to a US citizen doesn't that change things? And you're wedding isn't until October 2011! Your sister could travel around the world and still make it back in time to be your MOH!

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Posted by jilliibabii

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Posted by DWKSwed

ITA... I can't imagine how the sister must be feeling right now, with the holidays and everything and her whole world being turned upside down. I get upset if I can't see FH for a day, I would absolutely go with him even to a place I didn't like if that was my only option for being with him. I'm sure you didn't mean it as selfish as it came out but maybe if you seem a little more concerned with the stuff going on for them right now, the time will come when the wedding and your disappointment can be properly placed.

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I couldn't agree more. I would *DEFINITELY* go with my husband to where ever he is going if he was deported.

Why exactly doesn't he have papers? If he's married to a US citizen doesn't that change things? And you're wedding isn't until October 2011! Your sister could travel around the world and still make it back in time to be your MOH!

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my cousin married a Welsh guy and apparently its not as simple as just marrying a US Citizen... i think they have up to a certain time after they marry a citizen before they will be deported... they have to become naturalized and all that...

ETA: but ITA with you otherwise

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Posted by AngnShaun

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Posted by jilliibabii

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Posted by DWKSwed

ITA... I can't imagine how the sister must be feeling right now, with the holidays and everything and her whole world being turned upside down. I get upset if I can't see FH for a day, I would absolutely go with him even to a place I didn't like if that was my only option for being with him. I'm sure you didn't mean it as selfish as it came out but maybe if you seem a little more concerned with the stuff going on for them right now, the time will come when the wedding and your disappointment can be properly placed.

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I couldn't agree more. I would *DEFINITELY* go with my husband to where ever he is going if he was deported.

Why exactly doesn't he have papers? If he's married to a US citizen doesn't that change things? And you're wedding isn't until October 2011! Your sister could travel around the world and still make it back in time to be your MOH!

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my cousin married a Welsh guy and apparently its not as simple as just marrying a US Citizen... i think they have up to a certain time after they marry a citizen before they will be deported... they have to become naturalized and all that...

ETA: but ITA with you otherwise

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Oh well I figured it wasn't as easy as all that but he had to have been given some information on what he could do to either become a citizen or get the proper green cards. And I would think they'd give him an extension or something to get his paperwork together before physically deporting him out of the country. At least I hope they would. Unless he's been dodging the gov't for awhile. I can't blame him, I don't wanna pay taxes either.

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Posted by KerriJohnS

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Posted by DoreenAndScott

So now she tells me (keep in mind she is suppose to be my maid of honor) if he gets deported to egypt shes going with him. Not to sound judgemental, but seriously she even knows she wouldn't be happy.

---

Sorry just happened to come across this 'vent'. Are you SERIOUSLY upset that your sister might have to go to Egypt bc her husband might be deported BC she is 'supposed to be your MOH'. That sounds INCREDIBLY selfish!! I think instead you should be supporting your sister who is most likely going through a VERY rough and SCARY time... and not be thinking about her MOH duties for a wedding that isn't set to take place until the end of 2011!!!
The possibility of her husband being deported and her life having to be uprooted and going through this drastic change is more important than your wedding and her title of MOH for your wedding.

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Maybe i should have posted the rest of that story. My sisters husband wanted nothing to do with her for two months. The only reason they got back together is because my brother threatened to deport him cause he 'accidently' pushed her and she was in a elbow sling for two weeks. Thanks K bye.

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

wait i'm confused ... if your sister is married to an immigrant, doesn't he get citizenship through her?

my dad did that when he got re-married (well, we weren't illegal ... just non-citizens at that time)

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My sister has been trying to talk to her lawyer about it because he said if he was detained he might actually have a better chance of becoming a citizen. No idea why. I know that they already paid 4000 dollars in lawyers fees attempting for him to be a citizen, and it didn't go through for whatever reason. The only reason I wouldn't think she would go with him is because she called me everyday before he got detained saying 'she's working doubles because she needs money to leave him!' Maybe I should have expained the situation alittle better.

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Posted by JLWSJC

I'm sorry to hear IT sounds like your family's going through a lot right now.

I do agree with Kerri to a degree... but i'm sure what you're feeling is running deeper than you being worried about whether your sister can be your maid of honor or not.

If they're married, why doesn't he have papers?

And if your brother is like that anyway, why would you want him there? I understand you wanting your own family at the wedding and not just FH's, but you don't want people around who make things unecessarily more difficult for you.

Try not to worry about this stuff in terms of the wedding yet right now. If your sister does go to Egypt, there's no reason she couldnt come back to be here for the wedding in 2011. You have a lot of time to work these things out and see how things go and if you worry about them from now til then you will drivey ourself crazy, and nobody wants that.

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It's the Holidays- Family should stick together....

Thank you ladies. I'm sorry i didn't explain it better. I don't want to do anything but help other ladies and plan on this wonderful site. Didn't mean to cause any issues.

Your recent posts really clarified the situation to some degree and I think your anger is half at the situation and half AT him for apparently not treating her well so it makes sense, it's just hard to understand these things online sometimes. It's obvious you care that your sister is here for far more important reasons than the wedding and I hope it will all be worked out. But, as far as the wedding goes, even if she goes to Egypt with him I'm sure she can come back for your wedding. Hang in there and hopefully she will figure out the right thing to do. Maybe your family can sit her down and talk to her about her options before she decides to move around the world, and see what she really wants.

Good luck and Merry Christmas!!