Sorry but I need to vent - I seriously think the thing that is stressing me the most throughout this entire wedding process is FH! I specifically told him that I am not touching wedding ish today bc I need to focus on job research and sending my resume out. What does he do? He calls me and goes off on me for 20 minutes about how we need to get the honeymoon, invites, and officiant done and how it should've been done and taken cared of two weeks ago. How the hell am I going to pay these people if I don't have a job?!?! What the hell doesn't he get that job hunting is more important to me right now than the wedding?? We got most of the big important stuff done already so why can't he just back off?! I swear my BP went up by the time we got off the phone bc he seems to think that we have to have this entire thing planned before the end of the month! UGH!
KDNY133
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Re: VENT!!
Take a deep breathe. I think wedding planning gets all couples bickering at one point or another. Good luck with your job search.
Bride in 2012
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Re: VENT!!
Just breathe. Do what you have to do with your search & pick up with the planning once you're in a comfortable place.
KL824
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Re: VENT!!
Take a breath and realize nothing is more important than NOT stressing out. I try to think that way, but sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't lol.
But in all honesty, do all those things really need to get done asap??? I'm getting married a week after you and I don't have any of that done and am not worrying about it for now. Maybe sit FH down and explain that you don't have to rush on stuff and taking things one at a time is much easier and less overwhelming. Explain the job situation and money situation. Tell him you have a timeline (whether you do or not lol) and it's not crucial to have this all done right now. Maybe if you have a calm conversation about this, he will calm down about it as well. Being on the same page always helps.
I am currently looking for a job right now too and I know how stressful that could be, aside from wedding stuff!! So, try to just focus on doing one thing at a time and obviously it seems that sending out your resume is top on the priority list. Then take maybe one day a week or so to deal with wedding stuff.
Hope it all works out for you!
pixietina
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Re: VENT!!
Just relax and don't stress. You have plenty of time. Tell FH that he is stressing you out and that instead you just want him to support your job search right now. On the bright side you have a FH that actually cares about getting stuff done for the wedding. Usually its the girls that are talking about dead lines.
FutureMrsK2012
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Re: VENT!!
Thanks everyone! I'm trying to not let it get to me. I think it's the soldier in him that makes him so UGHHH sometimes! ITA...all this does not need to be done asap, and I tried explaining it to him but he doesn't seem to get it. He just wants to get all the planning done and over with, which is fine, but not if it makes me want to kill him in the process! Why do we need to do honeymoon stuff now, I don't even know what my job situation is, esp since most places have a 6 month probation period where you can't take vacations! So depending on when I get hired, we might have to postpone the honeymoon! I think I seriously spoiled him though bc I do all the research then narrow it down to the top 3-5 and have him help choose from there. He doesn't understand how stressful it is to look at and contact all the others before I narrow it down. I think I deff need a drink!
chakrasdeosil
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Re: VENT!!
The other ladies are right, you have time. And sometimes wedding related things shouldn't be talked about on the phone with FH because it ends up getting so stressing. I had to make a rule that all wedding related talks have to be put off till we are face to face, cause if not i'd go nuts. Its like they don't ever understand what you are saying. FH is just probably tying to show you that he wants to be involved and that he is trying. Most FH's dont really care about anything except being there the day of.
chakrasdeosil
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Re: VENT!!
Posted by FutureMrsK2012
Thanks everyone! I'm trying to not let it get to me. I think it's the soldier in him that makes him so UGHHH sometimes! ITA...all this does not need to be done asap, and I tried explaining it to him but he doesn't seem to get it. He just wants to get all the planning done and over with, which is fine, but not if it makes me want to kill him in the process! Why do we need to do honeymoon stuff now, I don't even know what my job situation is, esp since most places have a 6 month probation period where you can't take vacations! So depending on when I get hired, we might have to postpone the honeymoon! I think I seriously spoiled him though bc I do all the research then narrow it down to the top 3-5 and have him help choose from there. He doesn't understand how stressful it is to look at and contact all the others before I narrow it down. I think I deff need a drink!
I understand what you are saying because I am the exact same way, being an ex soldier its just frustrating feeling like there's no structure as to when things should be done. How about try making a list of all the things that have to be done and put a due date for them.... Or maybe even the latest that it could be done, that way he sees that there is a plan and you aren't just winging it or leaving it on the back burner.
FutureMrsK2012
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Re: VENT!!
Posted by chakrasdeosil
I understand what you are saying because I am the exact same way, being an ex soldier its just frustrating feeling like there's no structure as to when things should be done. How about try making a list of all the things that have to be done and put a due date for them.... Or maybe even the latest that it could be done, that way he sees that there is a plan and you aren't just winging it or leaving it on the back burner.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate him helping out with the wedding, but you know when they say too much of a good thing? It's just that he wants it done by when he wants it done and if it isn't done by then I must be slacking or wasting time. He doesn't take into account that it sometimes takes me days to research (as opposed to just an hour) because I obviously want reputable vendors with great quality work that falls within our budget. I wish it was as simple as snapping my fingers! We have a timeline and we are well ahead of schedule! When we first got engaged, I created a list of the latest that we should have things done by. I think he feels that since I am home I should be spending 150% of my time wedding planning bc when I start working I won't have any time (which I know is not true, bc all of you girls do it!) I know we have time and we are ahead of schedule, I just wish he saw it that way too!
chakrasdeosil
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Re: VENT!!
I think he might need a day of relaxation himself, he's driving himself mad if you guys are way ahead of the game. He's going to age 10 yrs by the time of the wedding if he keeps stressing at this rate lol. Try talking to him over dinner or something?
FutureMrsK2012
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Re: VENT!!
Posted by chakrasdeosil
I think he might need a day of relaxation himself, he's driving himself mad if you guys are way ahead of the game. He's going to age 10 yrs by the time of the wedding if he keeps stressing at this rate lol. Try talking to him over dinner or something?
ITA! I will try again though lol! Thanks!
MrsJPH2012
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Re: VENT!!
OMG I'm just starting to work that stuff and I'm like 5 months before you are. You're allowed to take a day off here and there, things WILL get done. And he can do some of the legwork on this stuff too... ie: set up appointments, email vendors, etc.
Paying for these things is an important aspect, lol, so if you're in the middle of looking for a new job, you won't be setting your best foot forward if you're distracted.
Good luck!
linda_art
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Re: VENT!!
Well if you do officiant now you dont have to put a lot down at all. Maybe just do that. Check out Pastor April.
LBUDA
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Re: VENT!!
You have PLENTY of time, so try not to stress. As for the honeymoon...the longer you wait, the better deal you will get...
PaddysGirl
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Re: VENT!!
I agree with the other ladies. Wedding planing is stressful but looking for a job is even more stressful. You have plenty of time for those parts of the wedding. Good luck with the job search.
