Vent

So Fmil and I do not get along. Its a long story and I wont go into detail, but she knows how to intentionally push my buttons and play stupid. Yesterday FH comes home from his mom's house with a gift from her trip. SHe didnt get anything for me which i thought was a little rude. WE always get her something and everytime my mom goes away she ALWAYS gets FH a little something, but whatever.

Anyways.. she got him a Tshirt with Naked girls on it.
1. I think thats so weird a mom would get that for her 26 year old son
2. Call me Conservative but I think a shirt like that is disgusting
3. I think it is down right rude to give your son who is ENGAGED a tshirt with naked girls on it.

Am I over reacting? Im a little pist and a little hurt that she would do something like that. Im not gunna start yet another fight ( esp with the wedding creeping up) but Its annoying that this **** has to go on. Am I crazy?




Disclaimer: If this gets back to FMIL I know Who it would be. So Dont think about it :)

Vent

Love the disclaimer....lol....

First, I am sorry that you and FMIL don't get along, that is a tough spot to be in...unfortunately she isn't going anywhere so I hope things get better for you!

Personally I don't think you're crazy because that does appear to be a little odd that a mother would buy her son something like that. ESPECIALLY when he already found his lady! (not trying to put wood into the fire or anything...just agreeing with you)

I think you should calmly talk to FH about it at least so he knows how you feel and ALSO so your feelings to build-up inside you to the point where one day you burst out and THAT turns into a bad fight.

Re: Vent

Ugh that's so weird! I'd be annoyed too.
FH just went on a trip with his family and his mom started asking him inappropriate questions that made him sooooo uncomfortable Weird!
She also knew about this trip for a long time and it was a surprise for FH but she only thought to invite a WEEK before. Then she says 'Oh why didn't you want to come?' Because I have a wedding to plan!!

I really don't understand it.

Other than that we get along, but I'd be super annoyed about getting him gifts with naked girls on it

.

Vent

I dont think you are overreacting at all. Thats weird and inappropriate. I would use it to clean the house.

Re: Vent

I don't think you are over-reacting at all! I would be pissed off too! What gives her the right to buy him such a sleezy gift? KNOWING it would piss you off! Ugh how old is FMIL anyway? You seem like the more mature one!
What did FH say about this? Was he shocked at this gift or is this nothing new?
I would def talk to FH calmly and tell him how you feel. It's true, FMIL is not going anywhere so it's best to find a common ground. After the wedding, you can move anywhere where you don't have to deal with her!
Unfortunately, we can't pick our families or FH's family - I hope you work everything out & don't let her get to you. Kill her with kindness!!!!

Re: Vent

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Posted by scottsbride

I dont think you are overreacting at all. Thats weird and inappropriate. I would use it to clean the house.

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Nice!

Re: Vent

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Posted by scottsbride

I dont think you are overreacting at all. Thats weird and inappropriate. I would use it to clean the house.

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yes, this!!!!

Vent

lol - kind of strange.

But, there are worse things in life and she is here to stay. I personally wouldn't even bother saying anything - I am a firm believer in choosing your battles. ITA - use it clean the house or regift it to your FIL :)

Vent

Thanks guys for making me realize I am not so crazy / over reacting.

It’s just annoying that I have to deal with stuff like that. I’ve tried so hard to get her to like me but because “I’m stealing her baby boy away' its been a rocky road. I desperately want to get along with her but there is only so much I can do unfortunately. I pray every night that things will get better. I can only hope one day things will be easier on me.

Thanks for your kind words! I love all my liwedding brides you girls are the best :)

Re: Vent

That is very rude of her! I am sorry you have to deal with this!! Hopefully things will get better with you guys. What did your FH say?

Re: Vent

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Posted by Noelle2013

That is very rude of her! I am sorry you have to deal with this!! Hopefully things will get better with you guys. What did your FH say?

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He laughed and said what else do you expect from my mom.

Thank GOD he is on the same page as me. He sticks up for me everytime she does or says something. I am VERY greatful for that!!

Vent

I mean, like you said, she knows how to push ur buttons...I would give NO reaction whatsoever! It may be too late, but not even to ur FH who may go back and tell her u didnt like it.. Sometimes people like that just do things to get a reaction out of u...if I were you, Id get in a bikini take a pic, and make a tshirt out of it...and have ur FH wear it to the next get together...that may be just the reaction she needs. :)

Vent

I feel your pain. But what matters is if your FH sees how ridiculous she is. My FMIL is an extremely ignorant, stupid & narcissistic person. Unfortunately, it took her responses/reactions to wedding related events for my FH to see it. But now that he does, his whole attitude towards her (and the rest of his family ) has changed greatly.

Vent

Sounds like some classy attire....
I don't think you're overreacting at all. Honestly, I've learned to pick my battles but if you didn't want to let it go I'd find a way to make sure all her friends/family saw it and knew where it came from (assuming they're somewhat sane) cause that would be pretty embarrassing for her.

Re: Vent

drop this small fight. it sounds like your gonna have many more bigger ones before the wedding. save your vents for them.

Vent

This is how you deal with it: Tell FH how important the bond between mother and son is and that you feel he should take her out to a nice brunch. Somewhere kinda fancy. That morning tell him it would hurt FMIL's feelings if he didn't wear her 'gift'. Also, this is my idea for the next GTG: We all wait in the bar area to see the reaction on her face when her baby boy walks in in such a trashy shirt

Vent

Thanks guys for the support. Although It pisses me off, I didnt say anything. I never say anything anymore. Its not worth it before the wedding because I dont want to fight and add extra stress on FH and I. After the wedding... thats a diffrent story. I will not let someone treat me like I'm a 5 year old and disrespect me. IDC who you are!

Vent

Thanks guys for the support. Although It pisses me off, I didnt say anything. I never say anything anymore. Its not worth it before the wedding because I dont want to fight and add extra stress on FH and I. After the wedding... thats a diffrent story. I will not let someone treat me like I'm a 5 year old and disrespect me. IDC who you are!

Re: Vent

Idk but in my opinion, that seems like a really passive aggressive way to piss you off. I would try not to let it affect you (I mean it's not like he would wear the shirt anyway right?)

If I were you I would mention something to her next time I saw her but pretend you didn't know she gave it to him. Like 'Oh I was doing laundry the other day and I saw the most disgusting shirt FH had thrown in there with naked girls on it. I don't know where he got it but I threw it away.'

So grateful FMIL and I have a language barrier lol