VENT and need advice!!!
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VENT and need advice!!!
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
Don't worry about embarassing him. He's already embarassed himself by not being involved in your life all along. So on that note don't feel bad walking down the aisle w/just your mom.
Personally, I would have never said yes to him bringing friends. I don't know who they are or how they'd act.
Personally, I would have never said yes to him bringing friends. I don't know who they are or how they'd act.
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
1. I give you credit for not slamming the phone in his face... if he didnt want to be a part of your life or your wedding... i wouldnt want him there..
2. it makes me wonder why all of a sudden he changed his mind...
3. you should not feel obligated to walk down the aisle with him... from what you've told us... he doesnt deserve that right
2. it makes me wonder why all of a sudden he changed his mind...
3. you should not feel obligated to walk down the aisle with him... from what you've told us... he doesnt deserve that right
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
I'm in a similar situation except the reverse - I grew up with him and then when my parents divorced he forgot he had daughters. But I'm the same way - while my sister could care less (I think it's out of hurt/anger, not lack of feelings) I always feel an obligation since he is my 'father'. Both of my parents are walking me down the aisle. I'd prefer just my mother - but that said, it doesn't feel right. I have to say tho - I think your father's absence sounds more extreme than mine and if you decide not to have him walk you down, I support that decision 100%!
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
Thanks guys! It's such an emotional situation and to be honest, I haven't really shared with anyone except FH. He hates to see me hurt so he says I shouldn't let him walk me down the aisle. I am SO curious as to why he changed his mind too. I hate that I have to go through this. I think I'm so attached to him because I'm the baby of 4 girls and somewhere deep inside I think I always him to be a part of my life...
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
You're a far better person than I... I don't think I'd even want him at the wedding. I'd tell him where he could stick his money.
Walk down the aisle with your mother, she deserves the honor a hell of a lot more than he does!
Walk down the aisle with your mother, she deserves the honor a hell of a lot more than he does!
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
yeah, she really really does!
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
since it sounds like your mom raised you, she should be the one to walk you down the aisle. if he wants to be at the wedding & contribute financially then you should let him.
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
I would never have even invited him let alone have him invite friends who are strangers to you. I would tell him no they aren't invitied..
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
I concur!
I wouldn't allow him to bring 10 friends (Especially if you don't know them).. There must be a reason WHY he decided to all of a sudden come to your wedding and invite all these people with him.
Also, don't let him walk you down the isle.. he hasn't been in your life as a father figure.. so he doesn't get the privelage to give you away.. ! *JUST MY OPINION*
Good luck
I wouldn't allow him to bring 10 friends (Especially if you don't know them).. There must be a reason WHY he decided to all of a sudden come to your wedding and invite all these people with him.
Also, don't let him walk you down the isle.. he hasn't been in your life as a father figure.. so he doesn't get the privelage to give you away.. ! *JUST MY OPINION*
Good luck
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
Wow!! This is tough one!!! I would say only have your mom walk you down the aisle. I don’t think your dad will be embarrassed. I mean I’m assuming your fam knows the whole situation and if they don’t see him walk you down the aisle, I’m sure they won’t be surprised. As far as him contributing financially, I say take whatever he is willing to give
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
I agree with the other posts... he has not earned the right to give you away. Sounds like your mom is an incredible woman and should be the only one to do it. IMO
Regarding his sudden intrest and all of his friends... idk... it's weird. I would insist on meeting them first and if you get a bad vibe from them dion't invite them. You don't know how they will behave and you don't want a scene at your wedding.
You are too a stong woman for offering to give him another chance.
Regarding his sudden intrest and all of his friends... idk... it's weird. I would insist on meeting them first and if you get a bad vibe from them dion't invite them. You don't know how they will behave and you don't want a scene at your wedding.
You are too a stong woman for offering to give him another chance.
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
I would ask your mom about the walking down the aisle. See what she says.
As for the $$, does he have $$ to contribute? If he's financially stable enough, i would ask for alot more than his 10 guests
As for the $$, does he have $$ to contribute? If he's financially stable enough, i would ask for alot more than his 10 guests
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
Posted by Golden
what do you guys think his reason to come and bring 10 friends is, I really can't get my mind around it, I don't understand...any thoughts?
Personally, I feel like there's some selfish motive around it. My father is out of the picture but not as extreme as yours. He will not be invited to my wedding, we have no communication and my grandpa, the man that raised me will have that honor of walking me down the aisle. There's alot more to it then dna. Has he ever once offered an explanation, an apology or better yet does he seem sincere in trying to maintain a relationship, not just contact every couple of years? Something to think about...I also would not accept a penny of his money..but that's me.
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
Posted by soontobecruz
I agree with the other posts... he has not earned the right to give you away. Sounds like your mom is an incredible woman and should be the only one to do it. IMO
Regarding his sudden intrest and all of his friends... idk... it's weird. I would insist on meeting them first and if you get a bad vibe from them dion't invite them. You don't know how they will behave and you don't want a scene at your wedding.
You are too a stong woman for offering to give him another chance.
Thanks! You LIW girls are truly amazing! I really do feel a little better!
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
we chose not to invite dhs dad to the wedding. he was never really a part of his life and we thought it would be weird having him there as he would prob try to be the big father. if he wanted to celebrate with us than he could have done so after. lets just say that didnt happen. sorry you have to go through this situation. you do what you want to do and feel comfortable.![]()
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
P.S. If I were your mom, I would be upset if you let him walk you down the isle..!
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Re: VENT and need advice!!!
Posted by Golden
what do you guys think his reason to come and bring 10 friends is, I really can't get my mind around it, I don't understand...any thoughts?
I've tried to figure out the same thing. I think it's the power of numbers. He probably can't face the heat alone and so needs other people there.
When I graduated from college...I'll never forget...my father came bounding ahead of the rest of the family, gave me a huge hug and was crying. Tears of joy? Don't think so. Tears of guilt. They know what they did is wrong, they just can't face it or don't care to face it.
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