Vent before I go to Bed

I was having such a wonderful night. the Giants one. Yeahh. until.. I got an email from a cousin.
I am not close with this cousin, I have not seen in probably a decade. Never talk to on the phone, never was told when she got married, had kids, nothing. She contacts me to say she is so excited, she told her little girl about the wedding & they are all looking forward to going there. Her little girl even asked if she could be the flower girl.. WHAT. I don't even know your kids names or your husband, & you are using your kids to guilt me into saying you all (All 7 of you) are coming. I can't afford it! She tried this before & I told her I am stressed and on a tight budget with the wedding. She said she understood then. (months ago) Now she emails me this after knowing that already, saying that he dad wants her to come.

I don't care if my uncle wants you there, that isn't the point.
& I was thinking of trying to invite just her & her husband but my fiance got annoyed as he couldn't invite his whole family either so why do I feel guilty like I have to invite them because they are asking.

I try to be nice & out of my family I am the one that tries to think of everyones feeling the most. But I feel taken advantage of with planning this wedding, I almost cried when I got the email from her. i hate when people try to manipulate me using kids (b/c I have a soft spot for them) & I hate to be the bad guy & say no in personal matters. My sister & mom think I am being soft. to tell her no & give no explanation. I can just imagine the talk that is going to happen.

I would NEVER invite myself to anyplace. I just don't understand people.

So now before i go to bed I am thinking about this.

Sorry for my vent. I hate complaining & dumping. sorry ladies.

were you invited to her wedding or any events shes had? kinda weird for her to think she'd be invited to yours lol

and on top of that to invite herself plus 6 of her family that is crazy. I would go with what your mother and sis are saying.

Say you are ONLY inviting ppl you have actually seen in the past decade

Dont you dare!! I wish I could give u a big

'While we wish we could invitge everyone..the room only holds so much. Please understand'

I asked my mom to step in on my behalf and so far she is doing wonderfully!

maybe you can ask ur mom to do the same???

Please dont fold! Maybe u can have a bbq for all the cousins etc...after the wedding, but stick to ur guns...whats the worst that could happen...its not ur uncles decision.

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Posted by Espo22

were you invited to her wedding or any events shes had? kinda weird for her to think she'd be invited to yours lol

and on top of that to invite herself plus 6 of her family that is crazy. I would go with what your mother and sis are saying.

Say you are ONLY inviting ppl you have actually seen in the past decade

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Thank you. I was NEVER inviting to anything of hers, not a children birthday,, nothing.
She lives in Florida now I don't even have an address for her. I was floored

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Posted by Celest

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Posted by Espo22

were you invited to her wedding or any events shes had? kinda weird for her to think she'd be invited to yours lol

and on top of that to invite herself plus 6 of her family that is crazy. I would go with what your mother and sis are saying.

Say you are ONLY inviting ppl you have actually seen in the past decade

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Thank you. I was NEVER inviting to anything of hers, not a children birthday,, nothing.
She lives in Florida now I don't even have an address for her. I was floored

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Simply state (even thru ur mom) that the invite list is finalized and u are over capacity. ..... or something tactful and respectful - without getting into anything that can bring forth the drama llama u kno> she doesnt need to know about $ or anything....notb!

This is when i wanna elope...

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Posted by madseason

Dont you dare!! I wish I could give u a big

'While we wish we could invitge everyone..the room only holds so much. Please understand'

I asked my mom to step in on my behalf and so far she is doing wonderfully!

maybe you can ask ur mom to do the same???

Please dont fold! Maybe u can have a bbq for all the cousins etc...after the wedding, but stick to ur guns...whats the worst that could happen...its not ur uncles decision.

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Thank you. I really really appreciate it. I am not one to complain but this really stressed me.

I emailed her back saying sorry but FH had to cut off his list and compromise and have I. I wish i put it like you did. I should have asked here first.. ugh

I put something like this
about being constrained and not being able to invite as many as I would like.

My mom is pissed, she says she is going to tell my uncle.

I hate this.. I just feel drama starting already. which is why I am not close with her to begin with

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Posted by madseason

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Posted by Celest

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Posted by Espo22

were you invited to her wedding or any events shes had? kinda weird for her to think she'd be invited to yours lol

and on top of that to invite herself plus 6 of her family that is crazy. I would go with what your mother and sis are saying.

Say you are ONLY inviting ppl you have actually seen in the past decade

---

Thank you. I was NEVER inviting to anything of hers, not a children birthday,, nothing.
She lives in Florida now I don't even have an address for her. I was floored

---

Simply state (even thru ur mom) that the invite list is finalized and u are over capacity. ..... or something tactful and respectful - without getting into anything that can bring forth the drama llama u kno> she doesnt need to know about $ or anything....notb!

This is when i wanna elope...

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I HEAR u. FH said we should elope from the beginning. I don't want an i told you so from him.

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Posted by Celest

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Posted by Espo22

were you invited to her wedding or any events shes had? kinda weird for her to think she'd be invited to yours lol

and on top of that to invite herself plus 6 of her family that is crazy. I would go with what your mother and sis are saying.

Say you are ONLY inviting ppl you have actually seen in the past decade

---

Thank you. I was NEVER inviting to anything of hers, not a children birthday,, nothing.
She lives in Florida now I don't even have an address for her. I was floored

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WOW so she expects you to invite her plus 6 and she never invited you to anything. Honestly don't feel bad, there is no reason to. I think when you answered that you were NEVER invited, that should say it all for you. Don't lose sleep over this and maybe tell your mom or sis to say to your uncle that you were never invited to anything of hers and you two havent even seen eachother in x amount of years and that you are keeping the guest list intimate and with ppl you are very close to

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Celest

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Posted by Espo22

were you invited to her wedding or any events shes had? kinda weird for her to think she'd be invited to yours lol

and on top of that to invite herself plus 6 of her family that is crazy. I would go with what your mother and sis are saying.

Say you are ONLY inviting ppl you have actually seen in the past decade

---

Thank you. I was NEVER inviting to anything of hers, not a children birthday,, nothing.
She lives in Florida now I don't even have an address for her. I was floored

---

WOW so she expects you to invite her plus 6 and she never invited you to anything. Honestly don't feel bad, there is no reason to. I think when you answered that you were NEVER invited, that should say it all for you. Don't lose sleep over this and maybe tell your mom or sis to say to your uncle that you were never invited to anything of hers and you two havent even seen each other in x amount of years and that you are keeping the guest list intimate and with ppl you are very close to

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God I wish my family would understand. unfortunately my uncles come from a time & place that a party had no invitation & they just showed up in droves.

They do not get the term 'intimate gathering'
& I have a feeling that I am going to become the black sheep because I am doing things differently than a way they are accustomed. My father's brothers are way older than him my dad was the baby so there are major generational gaps here too.

Thank goodness you guys get me. without you I don't think I would have sanity.

thank you soo very very much

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Posted by Celest

shoot how did my post count go under 1k? damnit they must have pulled posts. I knew it ..lol

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my bad...i told them to take that kids one down that i started!!! ppl were takin out the claws and all over a simple q!!!


May I ask are u paying for the guests at the reception? I know alot of families sometimes feel the need to butt into everyones business when it comes to inviting. My mom was supposed to invite 50 and she invited 96!!!!!!!!!!!! when i asked her why she sd ishe didnt want to hear anything from anyone or have anyone get mad. Im paying for these ppl and i told her then put them on the phone with me... no one shd be mad at you!

I would go to ur mom and say then u pay for them. thats that.

but overall...it shd be ur decision

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Posted by madseason

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Posted by Celest

shoot how did my post count go under 1k? damnit they must have pulled posts. I knew it ..lol

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my bad...i told them to take that kids one down that i started!!! ppl were takin out the claws and all over a simple q!!!


May I ask are u paying for the guests at the reception? I know alot of families sometimes feel the need to butt into everyones business when it comes to inviting. My mom was supposed to invite 50 and she invited 96!!!!!!!!!!!! when i asked her why she sd ishe didnt want to hear anything from anyone or have anyone get mad. Im paying for these ppl and i told her then put them on the phone with me... no one shd be mad at you!

I would go to ur mom and say then u pay for them. thats that.

but overall...it shd be ur decision

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aww no prob. I am going to get back over it in a few.

Yeah I am paying for the reception myself. Ugh it pains me to think about it.

My mom is cool, her & my sis are actually tougher than me about they guest list. My mom is sweet, she wants to invite her coworkers & she is going to pay just for them.

You are right. I am going to enlist their help

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Posted by Celest

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Celest

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Posted by Espo22

were you invited to her wedding or any events shes had? kinda weird for her to think she'd be invited to yours lol

and on top of that to invite herself plus 6 of her family that is crazy. I would go with what your mother and sis are saying.

Say you are ONLY inviting ppl you have actually seen in the past decade

---

Thank you. I was NEVER inviting to anything of hers, not a children birthday,, nothing.
She lives in Florida now I don't even have an address for her. I was floored

---

WOW so she expects you to invite her plus 6 and she never invited you to anything. Honestly don't feel bad, there is no reason to. I think when you answered that you were NEVER invited, that should say it all for you. Don't lose sleep over this and maybe tell your mom or sis to say to your uncle that you were never invited to anything of hers and you two havent even seen each other in x amount of years and that you are keeping the guest list intimate and with ppl you are very close to

---

God I wish my family would understand. unfortunately my uncles come from a time & place that a party had no invitation & they just showed up in droves.

They do not get the term 'intimate gathering'
& I have a feeling that I am going to become the black sheep because I am doing things differently than a way they are accustomed. My father's brothers are way older than him my dad was the baby so there are major generational gaps here too.

Thank goodness you guys get me. without you I don't think I would have sanity.

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Well sounds like your mom gets you and is ready to deal with this. You said she was mad so you know what let her handle it. At least you have your mom and sis on your side so that is good that you dont have your immediate family against you. Hopefully she will resolve this.

Dont let this stress you out

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Celest

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Celest

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Posted by Espo22

were you invited to her wedding or any events shes had? kinda weird for her to think she'd be invited to yours lol

and on top of that to invite herself plus 6 of her family that is crazy. I would go with what your mother and sis are saying.

Say you are ONLY inviting ppl you have actually seen in the past decade

---

Thank you. I was NEVER inviting to anything of hers, not a children birthday,, nothing.
She lives in Florida now I don't even have an address for her. I was floored

---

WOW so she expects you to invite her plus 6 and she never invited you to anything. Honestly don't feel bad, there is no reason to. I think when you answered that you were NEVER invited, that should say it all for you. Don't lose sleep over this and maybe tell your mom or sis to say to your uncle that you were never invited to anything of hers and you two havent even seen each other in x amount of years and that you are keeping the guest list intimate and with ppl you are very close to

---

God I wish my family would understand. unfortunately my uncles come from a time & place that a party had no invitation & they just showed up in droves.

They do not get the term 'intimate gathering'
& I have a feeling that I am going to become the black sheep because I am doing things differently than a way they are accustomed. My father's brothers are way older than him my dad was the baby so there are major generational gaps here too.

Thank goodness you guys get me. without you I don't think I would have sanity.

---

Well sounds like your mom gets you and is ready to deal with this. You said she was mad so you know what let her handle it. At least you have your mom and sis on your side so that is good that you dont have your immediate family against you. Hopefully she will resolve this.

Dont let this stress you out

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exactly!!! If not ill talk to them and set this whole thing straight

Yet again...people do not suprise me!!!

If madseason is busy and can't talk to them...I would love to!

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Posted by jeffamanda080808

Yet again...people do not suprise me!!!

If madseason is busy and can't talk to them...I would love to!

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we 08ers have to stick together!

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Posted by madseason

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Posted by jeffamanda080808

Yet again...people do not suprise me!!!

If madseason is busy and can't talk to them...I would love to!

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we 08ers have to stick together!

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You said it sister!!! If it wasn't for the 08ers... I would have been an 07 cause I would have been on the 1st flight to Vegas!!!

08ers Rule!!!!!!!!!!

FYI...I am obsessed with your avitar!!!!!!!!!!!