VENT!!! Family related! ( long)

I usually don't vent so much..feel like Im doing a lot of it now....and I'm sorry this is long, I think I will feel better if I get it out!

I always imagined a dream wedding with friends , family etc being thrilled...I've always be a major participant in anyone's wedding I was in/involved in...WHY IS EVERYONE SO AGAINST MINE?

We came into some money issues...we initially said we'd pay for it all on our own...My dad and I are not so close , he lives out of state and has 7 daughters...I'm the last to get married...he did not do much for most of them, but the last two (younger) he did a lot...he built a gazebo in the backyard for one and an extra bathroom so she could get married in the backyard..they have 5 acres....so I finally bit the bullet and asked if he could do anything at all..even just pay for something small ( a few hundred) and if not, maybe help with priting costs of things like programs , invites and stuff...( my own selfishness says you had 7 daughters you should have worried about wedding costs early on ...LOL!!)

I get a two sentance email back that he cant do anything at all finacially and will talk to my step mom about what they can do as far as helping us do things in the other areas...because shes good at that?

I WANT HIS HELP..not her's...All I got when I got engaged was a congrats, not I will help you, you will look beautiful, nothing...Everytime I ask him for help, he gives me an excuse!

My mom seems wrapped up in everything else but being excited....my friends havent even seen my ring ( 7 months into the engagement) and I'm just stressed out that no-one other then FH and some wonderful LIW people want to help or encourage us..

I feel like we are suddenly so alone in this....

FMIL said the other day, dont worry I will still host the RD ( she is tight for money, we didnt even ask her) ..I will just have your brother pay for it...WHAT? We would rather pay for it ourselves then have the brother feel like he has no choice but to pay....and why tell us this?

Why isisnt this any FUN????

dont let this affect you and ruin your special day... I know it is tough believe me we are paying for most of the wedding ourselves and sometimes I feel like literally banging my head against the wall (especially since FFIL kept asking us when are we getting married and now that we are he has no money to help) but anyways, please please dont let it get to you, this is supposed to be the happiest day of your life, you will manage you will see

I cannot believe how people have been behaving towards you. Thank God for your FH. Your Father sounds like this wedding isn't even a big deal to him. Hello he helped his last two daughters get married...and your the last, so wouldn't he feel like since this is the last one he should maybe do as much as he can since he won't have to do it again. It is unfortunate that he sent you such a petty email rather than calling you and trying to explain it better. As for your friends not seeing your engagement ring I understand. My friends will ask me a few questions about the wedding but not really care what my answers are and do it somewhat out of obligation. I hope that things get worked out and you can enjoy the wedding planning process rather than being so stressed about all of them. I feel so bad that you are so upset. Hope things get better soon.

i know how you feel. i feel like i am the only one excited about this wedding. i am having such a hard time getting my bridal party interested in going dress shopping. i got my dress about 2 months ago and fmil was supposed to go see it, and has never gotten around to it yet. there are so many other things, i dont drive and its so hard for people to drive me to a place so i can make a payment or go look at some vendors, meanwhile they sit home all day and do nothing. i feel like crying all of the time, because i thought this is supposed to be a happy time, and with still a year and a half away i have so much stress.

sorry to hear you are stressing...

weddings can become really stressful, especially when it comes to money... they are so expensive and the planning can drive you nuts... I def go through times where I am freaking out...

have you tried callig your friends and making like a 'girls night'... I know that my friends are always crazy busy and we all have different stuff going on in our lives so sometimes its hard to get together...

I appreciate all the advice, I feel a little better already!
I'm sorry anyone else is going thru feeling this way too...

I tried the 'girls night' thing about 100 times...most of the BM's have kids...all but one and its hard for them and plans always get broken.....