My mom is paying for the shower, I had my list, but FMIL had to add 2 non family members whom we (fh and I) don't even like but they're 'like family' to fmil and 3 more relatives, who might not even come. Half that list is her family. I have 2 BP members, one who lives in another state. My parents are not rich, plus they already gave us money for the wedding, FH's didn't offer anything yet.
vent over.
jovigirl414
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Re: VENT- FMIL
Why does she get a say in who to invite to the shower? I didn't even know I had to ask her if she wanted anyone there ... Is this something that should be done, or are you extending a courtesy to her?
spdy540
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Re: VENT- FMIL
I would tell her the list was already finalized or something. If she's not offering to help she really shouldn't have a say
IrishAli
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Seriously, I made the list and that was that!
Why do you need to invite them to your shower?
wiggleit28
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Re: VENT- FMIL
I feel your pain. There were a lot of people at my shower that I didn't know (FMIL's friends) and she didn't even throw it. She is SO good to me, though, that I just let it go....it is annoying for sure...I hear you.
mthornton82
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Re: VENT- FMIL
we have a lot of my FMIL extended family that is going to come to the shower...We live out of state so I had to set a date for it, then i had to change it bc the date i picked is the same day and some nun party and two of her aunts are nuns!!!
ItalianBella1122
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Re: VENT- FMIL
They might not offer if they're not asked. Most reasonable people would offer some kind of help if its brought to their attention that your mom was not intending the guest list to be so large. Tell your mom to reach out to your FMIL and see where it goes.
HSsweethearts
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Re: VENT- FMIL
Just tell your FH to tell her no.
We had a similar thing.
My mom and sis are paying for my shower (which is a feat..my mom really has no money...I help support her), and I heard thru the grapevine (FH) that the room they rented only holds 50 people, so they're limited. FMIL added some random co-workers to our wedding list at the last minute and we told her we'd B-list them for the wedding, and then she called my mom to try to get them added to the shower list!!! FH told her it's not possible. too bad
ETA: FH had told me they had to take the only 2 co-workers I aksed to invite off the list and I said if MY friends have to be bumped for your mom's co-workers whom I've met like twice, I'm going to throw a you know what fit,
bebita0830
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Re: VENT- FMIL
can FMIL offer to help with the baby shower since she wants to add people that are not family members?
bartgirl12
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Posted by wiggleit28
I feel your pain. There were a lot of people at my shower that I didn't know (FMIL's friends) and she didn't even throw it. She is SO good to me, though, that I just let it go....it is annoying for sure...I hear you.
Thisll be my situation as well. And I'm okay with it. My FMIL invited 25 people some family and some friends and I have 50 from my side. My mom is payig but welcomes her list openingly. We're family :)
mybabylovesmoi
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Re: VENT- FMIL
O M GGGG I'm in the same boat!!!
My parents gave us a very generous contribution for the wedding. FIL's haven't given us anything. I was fine with that because I LOVE my FIL's and their money is their money.
However, my mom said she will pay for my shower. FMIL said she would pay for half (recent development). My mom told FH and I that it was okay, she will pay for it.
Well, I didn't expect FH to tell his mom without discussing with me but he told her my mom would pay for it all! UGHHH i was so annoyed! My mom is paying so much already and this was the first thing that FIL's offered.
So then I decided to keep it really small to make it easy on my mom and FMIL gave me a list (albeit a very small one) but it STILL bothered me that my MOM has to pay for these people that I don't know.
ugh, ugh, ughhhhhhhhhhh
DCgirl82
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I would so tell her that the list is fonalized already and there are no more spots sorryyyyyy!!!
SoonToBeMrsFox
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i know what that's like
anszusterman
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Re: VENT- FMIL
I am lucky enough that people understand how CRAZY my FMIL is (not to mention mean), so my mom is throwing one shower out of state, and then FMIL said she will do one here for her side. I am asking a few of my close friends to come in for the local one, to make sure I don't shank this woman
jovigirl414
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Re: VENT- FMIL
Posted by anszusterman
I am lucky enough that people understand how CRAZY my FMIL is (not to mention mean), so my mom is throwing one shower out of state, and then FMIL said she will do one here for her side. I am asking a few of my close friends to come in for the local one, to make sure I don't shank this woman
I'm sorry to laugh, but the shank line really got me!
jgold910
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Re: VENT- FMIL
Posted by jovigirl414
Posted by anszusterman
I am lucky enough that people understand how CRAZY my FMIL is (not to mention mean), so my mom is throwing one shower out of state, and then FMIL said she will do one here for her side. I am asking a few of my close friends to come in for the local one, to make sure I don't shank this woman
I'm sorry to laugh, but the shank line really got me!
I totally agree - I spit my plum out all over my monitor at work!!
SimHawk8
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Re: VENT- FMIL
Posted by anszusterman
I am lucky enough that people understand how CRAZY my FMIL is (not to mention mean), so my mom is throwing one shower out of state, and then FMIL said she will do one here for her side. I am asking a few of my close friends to come in for the local one, to make sure I don't shank this woman
LOL.... Priceless
KarynK
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Re: VENT- FMIL
Posted by wiggleit28
I feel your pain. There were a lot of people at my shower that I didn't know (FMIL's friends) and she didn't even throw it. She is SO good to me, though, that I just let it go....it is annoying for sure...I hear you.
Same thing here, in other ways my FMIL and FFIL are good to us. But this is really annoying me. I spoke to my mom and she said to just let it go. So I will try. I extended courtesy.
