So, some of you may remember from the summer when FH's mother bought her dress. It was a green strapless dress with white beading on top. Mind you, we are having a December wedding yet she insisted on buying a summer dress. Fine, no harm no foul. Yet.
I made the suggestion that she cover up with a green shawl or jacket so she'd be warm (I also wanted her to cover up the white beads b/c in person they are very 'loud' and also my dress is ivory). She didn't want to get a shawl b/c she 'doesn't know what to do with her arms' and she gesticulates when she talks. Fine. So she finds a jacket pattern she likes and decides to make a jacket. She claims to have gone everywhere to find green fabric. Hasn't found any that 'works' with the dress, she claims.
So what does she do? Buys stark white bridal lace! I kid you not, I tried on entire dresses made out of the same exact lace. So now her top will be all white with the green skirt poking out from below (the jacket comes down about mid-thigh).
I have tried dropping suggestions, and then I also tried being blunt (telling her in person I felt it was inappropriate for anyone other than the bride to wear that much white). Two weeks ago when I was home, I took time out of my schedule to go to a few fabric stores and purchase fabric that was in the same color family as the dress. I sent her the swatches which she got yesterday, and instead of a 'thanks for trying' what I got was this:
'Got the swatches and I thought I told you I went to JoAnn's already. None worked. Don't bother going anywhere else. I am very happy with what I have.' That's all she wrote. No thanks, no signature, NOTHING.
This woman is so self centered. I drafted an email to respond to her but held off on sending it. My shower is on Saturday, she'll be there, and I'm a little afraid that she may make a scene. She's generally clueless, and doesn't have an unselfish bone in her body, but I also dont' know what she'll do if I were to send her my reply.
Sorry to vent. I just knew that you guys would understand. Thank goodness his stepmother is an angel. How many of you think I should respond, regardless of the shower being tomorrow?
Future Mulligan
Posted:
Member since
Re: Vent: FMIL has decided to wear WHITE
i think your FH should tell his Mother that HE doesnt think its appropriate, he can say, Ma I was thinking about your outfit for the wedding and I really think that you should pick out something different.......if she doesnt understand why, then let HIM explain it - its his mother - let him do the dirty work. He shouldnt want her wearing that either!!
sorry that you are in this situation!
IF she does end up wearing it - i am pretty sure some of your guests will be talking about it and not in a good way! so who cares! she'll look like a jerk!
PeteysBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Vent: FMIL has decided to wear WHITE
Well my mother in law didnt wear white but my best friends mil did to hers-white pants suit and all I will say is this;
1. Echoing other ladies, you will not notice what she is wearing when you're having a good time. Who WILL notice is everyone else who looks at ehr, shakes thei head and stage whispers, 'GOD THATS TACKY! AND AT HER AGE! oh no no...'Dont worry about hassling with her, because she will be torn about anyway by getting the knd of attention she doesn't want.
2. If you really feel the need to have something said to her and dont want to involve the poor FH, mirror her passive aggressive crap...-grins- IN FRONT of people, DONT berate her for wearing white...Instead..applaud her...act genuinely pleased but in a loud ebough voice that peopel hear you. Like 'OH So and so, I am so happy you found the perfect dress to wear to our wedding. Ivory/white is such a universally flattering color on most women and lace is just so romantic and wedding appropriate. I'm so glad you don't believe in those stuffy traditions of only the bride being the one to work it in white.'
You have permission to be an @$$hole but smile and be sickening sweet at the same time. She might throw a scene but just give ehr big eyes and like others have said, the head shaking AT HER will begin. Good luck.
SunBride07
Posted:
Member since
Re: Vent: FMIL has decided to wear WHITE
oh boy does this hit close to home -- my MIL not only picked out an ivory dress that was the color of my wedding dress but her wedding dress also had a train She said nothing to me and DH about the color just that she wanted us to go see the dress she picked out because she loved it...blah..blah SO we took time out of our weekend to go and see it and I almost fell on the floor when I saw the dress! I started screaming at the sales lady...like what the hell? You think this is appropriate for MOG to wear??!!...then I just walked away because I was so horrified and about to cry...after that, DH took care of it and put an end to the white dress (he told her it was not appropriate and he would find it embarassing) - she threw lots of **** fits about it but in the end, she didn't wear the dress
