Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

Original post by SimHawk8

Apr 20, 2011 05:57 PM

Hey cousin, how r u? Iam doing good. You will be happy to know I am seeing someone. Will try to call u later with the details. He will be coming to the wedding with me. Had a crazy question, how long were u dating Darryl before he asked u to marry him?

End of random text from my cousin. I think it is nervy of her to tell me who she is taking to the wedding when I haven't sent out invites and I have been very clear that I am only inviting people with guest in serious relationships (living together, engaged or married). I tried to call her and she wouldn't answer. It's rude to invite someone before I even officially invited you. anyone else getting crazy invites or assumed to be invited guests?

Update at the end.

CroatianBride Posted: Apr 21, 2011 12:12 PM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

A friend of mine is turning 30 and has been dating her SO for over a year and she just got invited to a wedding solo because they're not engaged or living together...I personally think its wrong to do that....how can one person determine how serious someones relationship is or isn't? It's not 18 year olds we're talking about here. Now she has to go to the wedding by herself. FH and I were dating for 8 years before we got engaged and if someone would've invited only one of us to their wedding b/c of that I'd be pretty pizzed. Some people wait for financial reasons to get engaged, so its not fair to judge their relationships according to status, KWIM?

BigDsGirl Posted: Apr 21, 2011 12:14 PM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

Posted by Yankeeelove

This is exactly why I decided we're having the amount of 'seats we have reserved in their honor' written on the invites

Same here!!

SimHawk8 Posted: Apr 21, 2011 12:42 PM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

Posted by BigDsGirl

Posted by Yankeeelove

This is exactly why I decided we're having the amount of 'seats we have reserved in their honor' written on the invites

Same here!!

My invitations have that too. If she would have bothered to wait for me to send them ... she'd know she has no guest just like the other single people in our families. I don't have the money for your random drive by date. If she had been seeing someone at the time I made my guest list that would be different. But she wasn't. She just met this dude who's to say she'll even like him four months from now. She's also annoyed there are no kids allowed since she has two. I really see her saying she's coming and backing out at the last minute because she's like that.

itbroi805 Posted: Apr 21, 2011 12:46 PM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

if you've been clear that you aren't inviting 'Dates' then it's wrong of her to say that. BUT...if my cousin was getting married and I heard no mention of being invited solo, then I would think I was being invited with a guest as an adult...

I would just call her and tell her that unfortunaltey you don't have any extra space, and if you do you'll let her know (you can throw that it to make it seem like you really feel bad, and just tell her nope no space)

LTrivitt Posted: Apr 21, 2011 01:07 PM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

I had a friend text me a YEAR before my wedding asking if she would be invited with a date! A YEAR!!! She was having some single crisis.

I told her I hadn't thought about it (which I really hadn't). Needless to say, we had a falling out and i still invited her with a date and she decided not to come. she lives 2 blocks from my parents house and10 miles from the reception hall... so I am never surprised by people!!!

HoosierCouple Posted: Apr 21, 2011 01:10 PM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

Posted by chilly313

I had someone who I may or may not wind up inviting, tell me that she already put the wedding date on her calendar because she wants to make sure she can be there! I wanted to say, 'really, you don't have to. . .'cause you might not be inivted' - but didn't have the heart to

we had a few of these (of family friends that we lost touch with and then ran into) strange!

Tromsugar2b Posted: Apr 21, 2011 02:44 PM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

Posted by LoveyDovey

Posted by MarryingMyBFF1110

I'm on your side (not that there are 'sides')..but if you aren't living together, engaged, or married, sorry.

ita

and if i were you id take the easy way out and tell her, sorry but im only having limited number of people at the wedding so no guests if not married

my gf/bm keeps telling me i need to find a bf in time for your wedding, i need a date

despite the fact that i told her there will be no flavors of the week at my wedding

ugh my bm thinks shes bringing her flavor also ...we are 3 weeks out and she still doesnt know who it is

jgold910 Posted: Apr 21, 2011 06:52 PM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

Posted by Tromsugar2b

Posted by LoveyDovey

Posted by MarryingMyBFF1110

I'm on your side (not that there are 'sides')..but if you aren't living together, engaged, or married, sorry.

ita

and if i were you id take the easy way out and tell her, sorry but im only having limited number of people at the wedding so no guests if not married

my gf/bm keeps telling me i need to find a bf in time for your wedding, i need a date

despite the fact that i told her there will be no flavors of the week at my wedding

ugh my bm thinks shes bringing her flavor also ...we are 3 weeks out and she still doesnt know who it is

Chelechel1 Posted: Apr 21, 2011 08:07 PM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

Posted by MarryingMyBFF1110

I'm on your side (not that there are 'sides')..but if you aren't living together, engaged, or married, sorry.

So if someone is in a serious relationship with someone else for about say...3 years, you wouldn't invite the significant other? I probably wouldn't go to a wedding if my serious boyfriend who eventually became my FH was not invited.

SimHawk8 Posted: Apr 22, 2011 01:20 AM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

Posted by Chelechel1

Posted by MarryingMyBFF1110

I'm on your side (not that there are 'sides')..but if you aren't living together, engaged, or married, sorry.

So if someone is in a serious relationship with someone else for about say...3 years, you wouldn't invite the significant other? I probably wouldn't go to a wedding if my serious boyfriend who eventually became my FH was not invited.

People who are established couples, married, living together, are getting a plus one. But the singles are not with exception of guest that know no one else. We really don't have that many of those guests.

SimHawk8 Posted: Apr 22, 2011 01:29 AM

Re: Updated spoke to my cousin Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

So I spoke with my cousin who proceeds to tell me about this new dude who is 40, lives in MD, she lives here and has two kids by different woman while living at his mother's house still and working a warehouse is her one. They met online in February and she's only seen him once but they are a couple. I just told her I had not planned on inviting or any family with a guest that was not in relationship when I made the list and I don't have the room but if I get nos I will let her know. I can't believe she texted me about some dude she met once from MD who she's not even known two full months. Ridiculous.

SimHawk8 Posted: Apr 22, 2011 12:16 PM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

Posted by Lauraehickey

I had a friend text me a YEAR before my wedding asking if she would be invited with a date! A YEAR!!! She was having some single crisis.

I told her I hadn't thought about it (which I really hadn't). Needless to say, we had a falling out and i still invited her with a date and she decided not to come. she lives 2 blocks from my parents house and10 miles from the reception hall... so I am never surprised by people!!!

That's awful. I hope that my friends understand our policy.

jgold910 Posted: Apr 22, 2011 09:09 PM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

Posted by SimHawk8

So I spoke with my cousin who proceeds to tell me about this new dude who is 40, lives in MD, she lives here and has two kids by different woman while living at his mother's house still and working a warehouse is her one. They met online in February and she's only seen him once but they are a couple. I just told her I had not planned on inviting or any family with a guest that was not in relationship when I made the list and I don't have the room but if I get nos I will let her know. I can't believe she texted me about some dude she met once from MD who she's not even known two full months. Ridiculous.

This is such crap!!!!! What did she say to that?

LKatz1029 Posted: Apr 22, 2011 09:13 PM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

Posted by IrishAli

Jeez nervy

Honestly, I would say that you were only planning on inviting the family together without guests

hahah me too just outta spite lol but im mean sometimes

SimHawk8 Posted: Apr 22, 2011 10:21 PM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

Posted by jgold910

Posted by SimHawk8

So I spoke with my cousin who proceeds to tell me about this new dude who is 40, lives in MD, she lives here and has two kids by different woman while living at his mother's house still and working a warehouse is her one. They met online in February and she's only seen him once but they are a couple. I just told her I had not planned on inviting or any family with a guest that was not in relationship when I made the list and I don't have the room but if I get nos I will let her know. I can't believe she texted me about some dude she met once from MD who she's not even known two full months. Ridiculous.
This is such crap!!!!! What did she say to that?

She said she understood.

NicoleandMichael Posted: Apr 24, 2011 08:36 AM

Re: Vent: Haven't even sent the invitations out yet and I get this text

Posted by Panamasweet

I that was totally rude to just assume she was invited with a guest. I would text her back or leave her a message just letting her know not everyone is being invited with a guest due to limited seating. Thats what I did and no one was insulted at all....BLAME IT ON THE SEATING

Great suggestion. Its you/your FH's day- she has no place telling you about what you should do- you/your FH dictate who is invited.