VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

mark'smama Posted: Feb 13, 2006 03:10 PM

VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

I guess after 6 years together he has lost ever romantic bone in his body.

Call me a spoiled brat if you must but I want to cry right now.
We don't really do anything big for V-day but we always do something and he has always made it special. This year I think I want to cancel it.
First - this morning he calls me up and tells me 'What is your address I haven't order your flowers yet and I have to do it now'.
Sorry but the best part of getting them at work is the surprise of it. now that i know (which i knew anyway cause he sends something every year) i told him to save the shipping charges and just get me something for when i come home.
Second - he calls me a few minutes ago and asks me 'what kind of candy do you want?' Hello dont ask you just ruined another surprise, besides if after 6 years you dont know what kind of candy i like then dont get it, cause you dont get it!!!!

WTH, i have been stressing for 2 weeks as to what to get him and now i am feeling like he isn't putting in the same effort.
I really want to cry right now and it doesn't help that i am starting to PMS

marymoon Posted: Feb 13, 2006 03:15 PM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you may be over-reacting a little. I know it ***** to have surprises ruined, but it sounds like he's doing the best he can to please you, make sure you get it at work, and make sure you get candy you like, etc. I can totally sympathise with times when it seems like FH has forgotten how to be romantic, but maybe it's something you can work at together.

Don't cancel V-day! Like you said, FH always makes it special for you, so just go with the flow and enjoy it. it's your last engaged V-day (which may be why he's a little off ths year, planning a wedding is stressful!) Reflect on how next year at this time it'll be extra romantic because you'll be married!

Shorty McBride Posted: Feb 13, 2006 03:22 PM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

I know it's sucky... but I'd be happy that he asked about the candy! my FH brought over a huge box of chocolate covered mint oreos the other day. I hate those! After 6 years, you think he'd know...but NO!

He asked me what I wanted for my birthday - and I said I realllllly don't want anything special, but it's important to me that you get a 'fiancee' card ('cause he didn't get one for xmas) - well lo and behold, he waited til the last minute to get a card (yesterday morning, in the blizzard!) and the only place open was 7-11. No Fiancee card this time, either!

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Feb 13, 2006 03:25 PM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

FDWedding07 Posted: Feb 13, 2006 03:26 PM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

I understand how you feel. But my FH has never sent me flowers. Valentines day is a day to be with the one you love. I dont feel it is a holiday of gifts. Dont get me wrong I understand how you feel and at times I think the same thing. But in the end my FH has never really been the most Romantic in Suprising me with gifts. I usually have to do the shopping. Be happy to get what you get no matter how he goes about it. Somtimes this time of year makes people a bit more emontional especially with the stress of planning a wedding.

mark'smama Posted: Feb 13, 2006 03:34 PM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

I totally know that I am overreacting about this but I can't help it. I am feeling extra emotional right now. I know that I should be happy just having him in my life and I am.
I guess with wedding planning, planning my parents 50th and aunt flo coming to visit it is all just adding up.

Thank you ladies for letting me vent and overact.

Blu-ize Posted: Feb 13, 2006 03:46 PM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

I think it's justified. You have to have mystery and intrigue in the relationship. Sometimes it's the little things that matter...

ali120206 Posted: Feb 13, 2006 03:57 PM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

Posted by mark'smama

I totally know that I am overreacting about this but I can't help it. I am feeling extra emotional right now. I know that I should be happy just having him in my life and I am.
I guess with wedding planning, planning my parents 50th and aunt flo coming to visit it is all just adding up.

Thank you ladies for letting me vent and overact.

I'd be upset too, it's not about the candy or the flowers, it's about the thought and the effort! My FH got me a box of candy this year (he usually gets me nothing) and I happened to find it (he told me he was getting me something but, who would've thought he would have gotten it two weeks early and hid it in a drawer that he wanted me to put clothes into). It's nice to know that there's some sort of effort put into things. Especially when you put some sort of an effort in!

espresso Posted: Feb 13, 2006 04:05 PM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

hey, i understand that you are upset, but I think you should just take a moment and stop to appreciate all that FH is to you. very often I think we get carried away with the expectations of valentines day, and remember its just a hallmark holiday. what counts is that he thought to get you something, notwithstanding the lack of a surprise.

stop and remember whether his proposal was sweet, or the times he has been there for you in the past few weeks. try not to get bogged down by one holiday. its one out of the million things you guys must have done together in the past 6 years.

Soon2BeMrsS Posted: Feb 13, 2006 04:31 PM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

LICARRIE Posted: Feb 13, 2006 10:36 PM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

I HEAR YA MY FH SAYS IT IS JUST A MADE UP HOLIDAY FOR THE RETAIL STORES SO I NEVER REALLY GET ANYTHING.

lisaslove Posted: Feb 13, 2006 10:41 PM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

glinda_goodwitch Posted: Feb 13, 2006 10:45 PM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

If it makes you feel better, FH and I bought our valentines' day cards today for each other...together at target. He got one card display, and I got the other, and we had to look straight ahead so as to not see which card the other was getting. Now how's that for no mystery? It happens. We live together, we had spent the entire weekend together out of state so we couldn't slip off and surprise each other. It's the sentiment that really matters. The fact that he wants to send you flowers and buy you candy is very sweet. Sometimes the surprise gets lost, but the sentiment doesn't.

weddingbunny Posted: Feb 13, 2006 10:55 PM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

sounds like pms to me!

I understand what you mean, it can be frustrating to feel like you're putting in all this effort and that he doesn't care enough to try as hard... it can feel like he doesn't love you as much as he loves you.

Just know that he loves you very much, that this is not a reflection of his feelings for you. It will be fine, and I'm sure he'll show you how much he cares tomorrow

jnrrb Posted: Feb 14, 2006 12:26 AM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

V-Day I never liked v-day, I feel like it is a day that you have to go out a spent money ( no matter how much these crooks hike up the prices) just because you don't want to upset the one you love
Just Remember That He Loves You, it doesn't matter if he gets you a new house or kiss on the cheek; try to look pass V-Day and see how much you both love each other.

Feel Better

FDWedding07 Posted: Feb 14, 2006 10:57 AM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

Posted by mark'smama

I totally know that I am overreacting about this but I can't help it. I am feeling extra emotional right now. I know that I should be happy just having him in my life and I am.
I guess with wedding planning, planning my parents 50th and aunt flo coming to visit it is all just adding up.

Thank you ladies for letting me vent and overact.

We all have had that moment lately with all the stress!! Thats why we are here.

mhermanns Posted: Feb 14, 2006 11:57 AM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

Hey, be thankful! My FH-who I love dearly, doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. Never ONCE has he done anything romantic. When its time for presents, I have to go with him to the store to pick out what I want. I can't even tell him where to get it or anything. I actually have to go with him and get it. AND, I don't get a card or anything. He 'doesn't do cards' (he says they never say what he wants them to say so he gest frustrated and wants to punch something.)

Look on the bright side, at least he USED to be romantic, even if he is not anymore! I can't even get a CARD!!!

But I do have to say, if there is something that I want, at least I know I will get it. I don't know which I would rather have. And, I am VERY romantic. Its sad but true. Maybe I need to change!

bride2b24 Posted: Feb 14, 2006 02:40 PM

Re: VENT: I am so unhappy with FH

dont feel so bad...its def depressing especially on V-Day.....but it would be worse if he didnt even make the effort.....i know after six years......sometimes people become so comfortable! keep your head up and make the best of it!