VENT?? I need advice from anyone... please??? help..

So this might be a vent.. and it's kinda long... if you have any advice it would be greatly appreciated.... its about a possible bridesmaid.

Ok so I was thinking about who I want to be in my bridal party.... I already know my sister is my MOH... and I have 4 other girls I want to be there with me. 1 of which I've known since 1st grade (1990 to be exact) and 3 that I've come to know along the way and have always been there for me. But the one that I have known since 1st grade, we'll call her E, is really shady in my eyes.

We use to go to school together since 1st grade right before 4th started I moved away.. and have tried to keep in touch with her.. but of course it was always me that called or wrote to her... always updated her with my addresses and phone numbers so that I wouldn't lose her. Whenever she would move I'd find out months later, maybe even years. I've always find a way to get out to queens to see her.... shes yet to come out to li to see me... and when she went away to college (baltimore, MD) i drove down there twice to visit her, and she never comes out to see me when she's in NY... she'll call make plans.. and that's the last I'd hear from her. She always had some excuse as to why she couldn't make the plans, but I always hear it about a week later. and she always has some problem.. either BF, family, car.. u name it... The third and last time i went to MD was when I went to VA (about 3 or 4 weeks ago) and was heading home but decided to stop over to have dinner with her, totally outta my way to get back to NY, and she's decides that her and her BF dont want to go out to dinner... and this is when I had gotten to her house.. (FH, mostly me tho, was really upset.. i was hungry and drove 5 hours for nothing, just to sit on the couch to watch tv.. grr )... to make things better i called her the next day when i was in NY... talked for about 30 min... then she actually called me about 2 days later... and that's the last i heard from her.. she's was suppose to be coming up the last week in october and for thanksgiving.. and i told her to call me so we can go out to eat one of the days she's here... still no phone call .. i guess we'll see what happens on thanksgiving...

anways... this girl had been there with me through thick n thin (i think.. lol).. her parents were like my other parents... and my parents treated her like another daughter.. but after so many years of me tryin to be the good friend.. im tired.. i told her that.. but she says she promises to be a better friend.. but nothing yet... and i really wanted to make her one of my bridesmaid because she's been there with me for so long.. but then again i dont know if i want her there because she's flaky at times.. and i feel like she might get offend if she's not included... i'm torn ... FH says 'it's your call' and my mother (who would love for her to be in it) said to give it time i still have a while before i decide anything... but i want to have my e-party in mid feb.. and i wanted everyone to know right before then who was going to be in the bridal party.. and i'm stuck.. can someone offer advice... any would be helpful.. thanks... sorry it's so long, but its been 17 years in the making.. lol and still going...

Im sorry you have to go through all that with your friend!
Honestly, in my opinion, all of the things you mentioned about her never calling you back, making plans and breaking them, etc would make her a TERRIBLE bm. Just think if you had important wedding things to discuss and she won't call you back, or you need to pick out dresses and she blows you off, it will just be more stress for you in the end. Sure, she may be upset about it but maybe she will realize what she's been doing. Even though she's been there for you in the past, it doesn't sound like she's really been there for you recently and who knows about the next couple of years while you are planning. This is just my opinion, I dont want to upset you, but it just seems like you don't deserve to be treated like that when you make all the effort.

though and hopefully you can work it all out before your eparty!

so im drunk now but please forgive me for whateva i may say....

i would drop her like a hot potato .... i have had many friends thoruouts the years that proved to be worthless pieces of crap... so i threw them away.... i cannot tell u how much better this has made my life./.... stress freee, drama free...

i have a friend right now who was gonan be my moh... but she hardly calls me anymore, only when she needs a favor.... i staretd to never return her calls and she finally got the hint and is now actually inviting me to go out to places with her...

on that note, i think if u plan on havng the bridal party be involved in alot of thwe planning, then no she shouldnt be in it... honestly, i dont want any of my party involevd in the planning b/c i dont feel thats their job... i feel like the should be honored for being good friends and should not eb used as 'slaves' if u feel like u jus want to thank her for being in your life, then sure, put her in it... otherwise, you wont e able to count on her for ****...

the person i would have mad my maid of honor has not cared one bit about my wedding planning... not aksed me hows it goin or anything... therefore, she will not earn that position but she will be a bm ... just because i dont want my bm/s to be involved in alot of the planning and i know i wont have to depend on her for ****

sry for the rant lol prob non eof that made any sense.... so if u need me to, i'll exxplain when im sober

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz


i would drop her like a hot potato ....

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I love it! Gina, will you be my new best friend?

I would say feel this girl out from now until February... if things get better, she's in. If they stay the same, she's out. Good luck!

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Posted by MrsDtoBe09

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz


i would drop her like a hot potato ....

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I love it! Gina, will you be my new best friend?

I would say feel this girl out from now until February... if things get better, she's in. If they stay the same, she's out. Good luck!

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Hahaha Sure!!!!! Just dont dik me over and I wont have to hot potato you... The things people say... ahem.. i mean type when we're drunk...

Personally, I wouldn't ask this person to be a BM. I just got the feeling from your post that you would be really asking her out of obligation.

Honestly, I've had my feathers ruffled when friends didn't ask me to be in their bridal parties, but I got over it quickly and we're all still friends.

It's YOUR day and it sounds like this chick would probably add to your stress rather than help you out.

I would say hold off making the decision until the very last minute... see what happens when she is here for THanksgiving...you can only do so much. If she doesn't contact you at the end of the month but redeems herself after the e-party you can always ask her afterward... and if she says something about not being in the BP then explain to her how you feel. I would just wait and see what happens but I think that if she doesn't make a change soon then I would say no to her being in the BP....I think your first instincts are always right so if you are leaning towards not having be a BM then just follow your gut. Don't worry about how it makes her feel because is she really worried about how she makes you feel when you go out of your way to stay in contact with her and she is doing nothing??

Sorry you are dealing with this!

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

so im drunk now but please forgive me for whateva i may say....

i would drop her like a hot potato ....

sry for the rant lol prob non eof that made any sense.... so if u need me to, i'll exxplain when im sober

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OMG SOOO FUNNYYY!!!!!!!! i knew i liked you from all the funny post. that really made my night.. lol... wanna be my friend?? lol

THANK YOU guys soooo much for your input!!!

i think i'm going to wait it out... and see what happens from here till the holidays are over... if i haven't heard one thing.. then i know my answer... i love her to death.. but i dont want drama on my day... plus i dont want to pull teeth if i ask her to from up to NY to do wedding stuff... so i'm going to wait, and not let it bother me...

now i just need new friends....