Sometimes I can't take picking out a bm dress..now all of my bm's are diferent sizes and honestly they have given me no problem what so ever ...they'll pretty much wear anything in any color and i've been trying to find a style that looks right on all of them..its my moh thats making the biggest deal..she won't compromise for anything..The dress has to have a certain neckline, no sash, not too fitted, she hates half of the colors i'm picking out and hates tea length dresses..its irritating because I've been pretty fair trying to accomodate her..but she won't bend at all..its to the point that my mother is telling me that i have to get a DIFFERENT dress for her in a different color, mind you i want all my bm's in the same dress. I love sashes..she won't do it..and honestly, i think because she feels self conscious is everything (she is a little heavy and i mean alittle!!! she's a little big boned thats all..she thinks shes overweight and she totally isn't) Do you think im wrong here? or should she compromise more with me too? everytime i complain that i want all of the dresses to match..i hear that i am being a 'bridezilla'..im sick of it...just needed to vent and want an honest opinion..thanks for listening girls!
MikeandJess
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
the MOH can wear a different dress anyway. Why don't you pick out the bm dresses first and then tell your MOH that she can pick out any dress from the designer the other girls chose as long as it's the same color as theirs.
cbcf
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
i think you are completely right....
you have bent so much already by trying to accomodate her....see she needs to realize this is YOUR wedding NOT HERS. And in all honesty if she doesnt want a dress everyone else is willing to compromise on then she really doesnt care about your feelings and your wedding.
I feel she needs to bend now. It isn't fair that you should ahve to change around your idea of what you want for her. It is your wedding. And I would explain that nicely to her. That whatever dress yuo love and the other girls love you are getting!! And she will just have to deal. It isn't like everyone is looking at her on your day. I understand wanting to be comfortable but if everyone else in the bridal party is than tough for her lol
Mici n KC
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
I understand what you're saying, you want it to be something everyone will like, but let's get one thing straight, this is YOUR wedding, not your MOHs. You pick what you want and like. Do not let her push you around on this. Is she ever going to wear the dress again? Probably not, so what is her problem with necklines and sashes? Tell her you appreciate her in put, but for YOUR wedding you envisioned this type of dress on your BMs and that's what you're going with.
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
Posted by MikeandJess
the MOH can wear a different dress anyway. Why don't you pick out the bm dresses first and then tell your MOH that she can pick out any dress from the designer the other girls chose as long as it's the same color as theirs.
ok thats a good idea..jess..i just feel like she'll pick this big foofy dress (like a prom dres) because thats how picky she is..and i feel like that will take away from me on my day
Future Mulligan
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
she should relax herself - its not her wedding, its YOURS! she seems like she is being a little selfish IMO
cbcf
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
oh and i told my sisters and the rest of my bridal party i want the dresses to match as well...the only request they all had was that the dress was not a hideous color and it wasnt strapless or $$$. I agreed to all that and I am also looking at what they like and I really ended up loving a dress one of them picked out that I wasnt excited over at first.
So I said the same thing as you- want them in the same dress that is NOT bridezillaish
yelley77
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
It's your wedding and you shouldn't be the one making the sacrifices. I would pick like three dresses and tell her to pick from those (this way she feels like she is choosing the dress) and then tell the rest of the BM's that is the dress. Ask her of all her restrictions, which is most important to her? find a dress that accomadtes her in that area and then get a dress AND color you like. It's your wedding. You will regret letting her tell you what dresses to pick. Also, if you like the sash, go for it... It is your wedding.
I don't understand people, sometimes. If I was honored enough to be asked to be in a BP I would not open my mouth about ANYTHING!!!!
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
thanks girls..i feel alittle better...i thought maybe i was being to harsh..because my whole family is telling me im being a 'bridezilla' and i just feel like its my wedding (like you all have been saying!)
LeslieMike
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
I think she should bend a little. Why dont you ask her what she WOULD wear, instead of all the dresses she WOULDNT wear! Then if there is something she likes, you will have a better idea of what she is willing to wear. Though the bottom line is, its your wedding, and you should have the girls looking the way you want them to look in YOUR wedding! I have my own problems too. None of the girls are local and I have no help finding dresses, so I just email them pics of ones I like and they give me opinions, but they dont know what they look like in person and dont seem to get to a local store for them to try on!(vent) Sorry!
Im trying to accommodate too, but in the end, its what you want!
MikeandJess
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
Posted by Bride 2 Be
Posted by MikeandJess
the MOH can wear a different dress anyway. Why don't you pick out the bm dresses first and then tell your MOH that she can pick out any dress from the designer the other girls chose as long as it's the same color as theirs.
ok thats a good idea..jess..i just feel like she'll pick this big foofy dress (like a prom dres) because thats how picky she is..and i feel like that will take away from me on my day
you can tell her that her only stipulation is that it has to be an a-line. Nothing can take away from you, you're the bride! That's how I'm working it with my MOH, I picked out the other girls dresses and I told her she can get any dress from the same designer that is brown with a pink sash.
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
Posted by yelley77
It's your wedding and you shouldn't be the one making the sacrifices. I would pick like three dresses and tell her to pick from those (this way she feels like she is choosing the dress) and then tell the rest of the BM's that is the dress. Ask her of all her restrictions, which is most important to her? find a dress that accomadtes her in that area and then get a dress AND color you like. It's your wedding. You will regret letting her tell you what dresses to pick. Also, if you like the sash, go for it... It is your wedding.
I don't understand people, sometimes. If I was honored enough to be asked to be in a BP I would not open my mouth about ANYTHING!!!!
i know! its my sister too! she keeps threatening me that she'll drop out if she doesn't like the dress..is that ridiculous or what?
anneandchris
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
First I have to say I am starting to resent the term 'Bridezilla' -- people use it too freely.
With that said, you are completely right to want the girls in the same dress and your MOH needs to just deal. Its one day that is not about her -- and truth be told no one is going to be looking at her.
It is nice that you want her to be comfortable and feel pretty but she has to understand that it is ok to step out of her comfort zone and trust that you aren't going to let her wear somethign that makes her look, fat or ridicouls -- you don't want your pics to look like crap!
hwolf812
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
UMMMMM whos wedding is this anyway? i have no tolerance for behavior like that--if she doesnt like it tell her too bad. Done. Period. End of story...
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
Posted by MikeandJess
Posted by Bride 2 Be
Posted by MikeandJess
the MOH can wear a different dress anyway. Why don't you pick out the bm dresses first and then tell your MOH that she can pick out any dress from the designer the other girls chose as long as it's the same color as theirs.
ok thats a good idea..jess..i just feel like she'll pick this big foofy dress (like a prom dres) because thats how picky she is..and i feel like that will take away from me on my day
you can tell her that her only stipulation is that it has to be an a-line. Nothing can take away from you, you're the bride! That's how I'm working it with my MOH, I picked out the other girls dresses and I told her she can get any dress from the same designer that is brown with a pink sash.
thats a good idea! the only problem is my mother is saying i need to take moh shopping first without the rest of the bms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and let the other bms try on what she liked..its ridiculous!
snwb08
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
Posted by yelley77
I don't understand people, sometimes. If I was honored enough to be asked to be in a BP I would not open my mouth about ANYTHING!!!!
i agree. these posts about BMs make me so glad i'm not doing a traditional bridal party. I told my sister (MOH) she can wear whatever she wants and people think I'm crazy
MikeandJess
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
Posted by Bride 2 Be
thats a good idea! the only problem is my mother is saying i need to take moh shopping first without the rest of the bms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and let the other bms try on what she liked..its ridiculous!
Tell your mom that your MOH is too much of a PIA to do that and let her know you've come up with a new way to pick out the bm dresses. She's the one being difficult. Don't let your mom add to your already stressful situation!
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
Posted by anneandchris
First I have to say I am starting to resent the term 'Bridezilla' -- people use it too freely.
With that said, you are completely right to want the girls in the same dress and your MOH needs to just deal. Its one day that is not about her -- and truth be told no one is going to be looking at her.
It is nice that you want her to be comfortable and feel pretty but she has to understand that it is ok to step out of her comfort zone and trust that you aren't going to let her wear somethign that makes her look, fat or ridicouls -- you don't want your pics to look like crap!
i agree..i feel like they are calling me this all of the time? how? i don't even feel im being a bridezilla..shes being a bridesmaidzilla (lol) if anything..and your right i want her to feel comfortable and thats why im having such a problem with this..im not getting a fitted gown , i don't understand the problem!
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
Posted by MikeandJess
Posted by Bride 2 Be
thats a good idea! the only problem is my mother is saying i need to take moh shopping first without the rest of the bms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and let the other bms try on what she liked..its ridiculous!
Tell your mom that your MOH is too much of a PIA to do that and let her know you've come up with a new way to pick out the bm dresses. She's the one being difficult. Don't let your mom add to your already stressful situation!
yea your right jess..thanks..
cbcf
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Re: vent (kind of long)- bm dresses
Posted by Bride 2 Be
Posted by yelley77
It's your wedding and you shouldn't be the one making the sacrifices. I would pick like three dresses and tell her to pick from those (this way she feels like she is choosing the dress) and then tell the rest of the BM's that is the dress. Ask her of all her restrictions, which is most important to her? find a dress that accomadtes her in that area and then get a dress AND color you like. It's your wedding. You will regret letting her tell you what dresses to pick. Also, if you like the sash, go for it... It is your wedding.
I don't understand people, sometimes. If I was honored enough to be asked to be in a BP I would not open my mouth about ANYTHING!!!!
i know! its my sister too! she keeps threatening me that she'll drop out if she doesn't like the dress..is that ridiculous or what?
oh no i cant believe its your sister. but i already told my sisters because htey are the ones i can be most honest with...that i want them all in the same dress, color, length and style. They agreed just because we kinda have the same style. but i think my sisters would be the easiest to tell NO to because htey are my family. Now if it was my cousin or best friend I know it would be a little bit harder...I am sorry I hope it all works out kristen
