VENT my bridal party

SuzanneK Posted: Jan 05, 2010 10:50 AM

VENT my bridal party

I dont know if its only me or if anyone else is experiencing this but I have a few bridesmaids who are not calling me or asking me anything about when they should order their dress. One of them was just in our friends wedding and was so far up her butt it was ridic. She has not even asked me what is going on with the wedding. I am a little upset because I feel like maybe they dont want to be in my wedding. I dont know what to do I told FH I want to kick them out of the wedding and he told me I cant do that. What would you do is anyone else experiencing this with their bridesmaids, I thought it was maybe just because of the holidays and whatever but now its 2010 LADIES IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED IM GETTING MARRIED IN 7 months I dont even feel like I want to approach them about it because its aggravating.

brittndave Posted: Jan 05, 2010 10:53 AM

Re: VENT my bridal party

maybe she was overwhelmed with your other friends wedding and now she'll be able to focus more on yours with that one and the holidays out of the way. just call and tell her how youre feeling. i had to do that with one of my bms and i said 'i feel like you're not really that into being a bm, would you be more comfortable being a reader or something less involved?'

JennandAnthony Posted: Jan 05, 2010 10:53 AM

Re: VENT my bridal party

I had a bm that was like that so I had the girls that seemed interested order their dresses (i gave them a deadline) and never told the other girl when that deadline was and never texted her about the wedding again...so I guess I kicked her out without saying anything...................or you could be a nice bride unlike me and have a talk with her

Iluvpoodles Posted: Jan 05, 2010 10:53 AM

Re: VENT my bridal party

I had to literally keep reminding my MOH like 49349 times to order her dress so I feel for you. Tell them when it needs to be ordered, give the date it has to be done and if they don't go to order it then take it that they won't be in the party.

mzmahagony Posted: Jan 05, 2010 10:55 AM

Re: VENT my bridal party

None of my bms call or ask anything, I dont expect them too either. I think you should call them and let them know when you need things done because if you wait for them it will never happen. They are not necc. trying to be mean but your wedding is not on their minds like its on yours so maybe you should reach out to them when you need them to do stuff. They would only know whats going on when you tell them so don't wait for them to call you.

emc282rjm Posted: Jan 05, 2010 10:57 AM

Re: VENT my bridal party

I had a similar issue with one of my bms. I think it's easy to forget that not everyone is as excited about the wedding as you are, and that it's not their priority the way it is yours. I'd give them a reminder. It's a cra ppy situation, but probably something you can easily fix!

FallBride2010 Posted: Jan 05, 2010 10:57 AM

Re: VENT my bridal party

Posted by mzmahagony

None of my bms call or ask anything, I dont expect them too either. I think you should call them and let them know when you need things done because if you wait for them it will never happen. They are not necc. trying to be mean but your wedding is not on their minds like its on yours so maybe you should reach out to them when you need them to do stuff. They would only know whats going on when you tell them so don't wait for them to call you.

I agree with this. People have so much going on, doesnt mean they dont care. I dont expect my BMs to track me down...when they need to do something I will just let them know.

Iluvpoodles Posted: Jan 05, 2010 10:58 AM

Re: VENT my bridal party

Posted by mzmahagony

None of my bms call or ask anything, I dont expect them too either. I think you should call them and let them know when you need things done because if you wait for them it will never happen. They are not necc. trying to be mean but your wedding is not on their minds like its on yours so maybe you should reach out to them when you need them to do stuff. They would only know whats going on when you tell them so don't wait for them to call you.

Totally agree. I'm not expecting them to do anything besides show up in their dress the day of or if I ask them for help. Though, chasing after someone who keeps 'forgetting' to order their dress can be annoying.

AngnShaun Posted: Jan 05, 2010 10:58 AM

Re: VENT my bridal party

Posted by FallBride2010

Posted by mzmahagony

None of my bms call or ask anything, I dont expect them too either. I think you should call them and let them know when you need things done because if you wait for them it will never happen. They are not necc. trying to be mean but your wedding is not on their minds like its on yours so maybe you should reach out to them when you need them to do stuff. They would only know whats going on when you tell them so don't wait for them to call you.

I agree with this. People have so much going on, doesnt mean they dont care. I dont expect my BMs to track me down...when they need to do something I will just let them know.

same here... the only people that ask me anything on a daily basis are my mom and moh... and that annoys me! LOL... otherwise i tell them when they need to do stuff if anything at all...

SuzanneK Posted: Jan 05, 2010 11:04 AM

Re: VENT my bridal party

I know but these two girls are being held to a different standard because:
ONe of them got married last may I went to her tasting, dj appts, florist appts, she made me go workout with her 3x a week, I did EVERYTHING with her so I guess I feel I deserve the same respect I mean I did everything with her. Im mean I am happy that my FH is more involved than hers was but still she can at least call she knows the protocol. I told her we were ordering the dresses in August and she is in somone elses wedding the week after me and everytime we talk she talks about it.

The other one was constantly talking about our friends wedding. She is acting this way because I asked a friend I met thru her to be my MOH and not her. She is annoyed and is acting immature about it. In the beginning she told us that she should have been the MOH she would have done a better job. I chose my MOH for a reason she was there for me when I needed her most and most of all she shaved her head with me when I had to lose my hair due to chemo she deserves to be MOH she is a wonderful friend and person. But I think I am pretty much going to tell her to GROW UP in a nicer way.

M_Berk-Glenn Posted: Jan 05, 2010 11:07 AM

Re: VENT my bridal party

I picked a dress gave them a deadline. Whoever oders will be in my BP and who doesnt wont. I made it that simple bcuz I wasnt going to stress over this. I am suppose to have 15 BM only 8 have ordered dresses thus far. Im as happy & as stress free as can be.

SuzanneK Posted: Jan 05, 2010 11:11 AM

Re: VENT my bridal party

Posted by M_Berk-Glenn

I picked a dress gave them a deadline. Whoever oders will be in my BP and who doesnt wont. I made it that simple bcuz I wasnt going to stress over this. I am suppose to have 15 BM only 8 have ordered dresses thus far. Im as happy & as stress free as can be.

Thats a great way of looking at it. I think I am going with that.

M_Berk-Glenn Posted: Jan 05, 2010 11:20 AM

Re: VENT my bridal party

Posted by SuzanneK

Posted by M_Berk-Glenn

I picked a dress gave them a deadline. Whoever oders will be in my BP and who doesnt wont. I made it that simple bcuz I wasnt going to stress over this. I am suppose to have 15 BM only 8 have ordered dresses thus far. Im as happy & as stress free as can be.

Thats a great way of looking at it. I think I am going with that.

Dont sweat the small stuff...this is abt you & FH, everyone else is xtra

Ps one of my BM got upset bcuz I told her I didnt care if she ordered her dress. I told her even if your not a BM you are more then welcome to be a guest...she looked at my like she was very confused Life goes on...